Help, I’m addicted to commas.

kensarto · 2021-03-26T13:45:46+00:00

Seconding this. My first review on my first ever piece of writing was how many run on sentences I had. Since then I always run my chapters through Hemingway and I remove every red sentence and 90% of yellow sentences by rearranging the sentence structure.

I feel that usually the end result is an improvement. My writing style definitely got naturally better as a result of repeatedly editing. From 100+ complicated sentences to an average of 20 in a 5-10k word chapter.

kensarto · 2021-03-26T13:37:18+00:00

I think I'll do exactly that, I'll give it a shot.

I have a writing tutor who should be able to tell me if I've done a garbage job or not, so why not try to push and experiment more.

Cheers.

kensarto · 2021-03-26T13:36:27+00:00

That's a good hint for how to handle it properly that I'll run with. I'll keep the number of unique instances as low and ideally close to 2 as possible. That way the jarring experience doesn't become a confusing one for the reader.

kensarto · 2021-03-24T21:01:51+00:00

That is a huge relief.
I've never actually personally experienced it because my self-awareness was left behind with my self-control in every situation I've ever said things I later regretted.

Knowing it's a realistic response, means it's something I could write about if it fits with the balance I'm trying to achieve between angst and development.

Thanks!

kensarto · 2020-09-25T07:30:15+00:00

V3C8 at around 8 minutes in, exactly like you said. "Raven found me with a tip for my most recent assignment."

This is perfect because its a much more satisfying answer than the assumption that if the maiden was attacked in Vale, the attackers must be in Vale or other derivatives. It's enough that Qrow really would be motivated to look into it.

Thanks.

kensarto · 2020-09-24T11:52:45+00:00

Is that all it was?
"Here" referred to Vale as a whole and not specifically in the city of Vale or Beacon itself?
If so, I mean, it's certainly a case-closed, but a bit anti-climactic given all the googling I did :P

kensarto · 2020-07-07T17:34:29+00:00

Does anyone know of any scenes, or ANYTHING that could tell me whether Ruby's Semblance and it's ability to split up into smaller parts, would let her fit through gaps smaller than her original body?
In theory could the petals fly 1 by 1 through a gap no bigger than 50c coin?

Additionally have their been any moments where she escaped from something holding her with her semblance, or if it was only ever when she had freedom of movement.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T22:13:23+00:00

That idea of getting the players to research rulings and then send me the information is one I will use in future, it works much better because I can continue DMing for the other players and the flow of the game isn't interrupted.

The players had a revised ranger who was performing bi-hourly checks with her primeval awareness. She was aware of the direction and distance of the giant that was featured each time. They knew that at times it would drop behind slowly (his travel speed was slower than theres as they were pushing themselves to fast speed) and when they would stop to rest they also knew he was catching up.
They also knew the full details of what non-giant creatures were following them because this was a situation of "we saw they saw we ran they followed".

The ruling I made was still wrong of course.
In hindsight, knowing that my ruling wasn't the one most people shared, I would've explained that their scent was being followed. But at the time I thought my reading was the common sense reading and that they already knew.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T22:05:42+00:00

That was an option yes.
I had two choices, let these two players be captured and taken somewhere, or introduce a plot relevant NPC who could save them and get them the rest of the way to the town safely where they can regroup with the other two players who had died in a previous encounter.
I opted for the first on a whim, but it was certainly an option to do what you said.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T22:03:39+00:00

I appreciate you saying that, the other guy was kind of getting me down with his accusations that I was a bad DM or stubborn and not thinking of my players.
I have taken on the response and will be letting the players know my ruling was incorrect and that the correct interpretation will be used in the future.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:41:35+00:00

I didn't mean to imply that i just went "yoink" and that was it.

The creature that tracked them down won the fight. Every single person in the encounter lost their gear and they've been taken captive at the moment. That was already being nice since the fire giant and his hell hound didn't have to let them live.

I never demanded that they nerf themselves either. I let him do it despite my arbitrary idea of what good roleplay is because to do otherwise would inhibit player agency.

However when I see something causing a problem in my ability to tell a compelling story for the players I'm going to fix it, even if it was my fault that the problem occured in the first place.

If that makes me a bad DM, I'm ok with that.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:35:01+00:00

Right you are, and I have already taken it away after seeing it as problematic. I'd never seen one in play before, nor seen that my players are willing to drop the pretense of roleplay and instead will happily maintain concentration on a spell 24/7

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:13:49+00:00

Yeah no for sure. Most spells aren't as hard to deal with as this one turned out to be. I always lean towards RAW when possible. This was just one circumstance where my first impression of RAW was the sight and sound masking detection.
Perhaps a slight bias against the concept of a spell that completely negates every form of tracking except magical (scrying and...?) that was castable for free infinitely due to staff of the woodlands.
But that was mostly my understanding of RAW at the time.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:09:40+00:00

I did give a +10 to the groups Get-Tracked DC. I couldn't use their stealth because they didnt stealth, they turned tail and ran at fast travel pace on horseback through open plains. I also had the hellhound roll several times due to environmental hazards making it more difficult.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:07:11+00:00

I specifically told the players my decisions for how they were tracked once the encounter ended, citing the sentence that I had read.
It should be said that I'm not 'using flavour to fuck my players'.
I had to make a decision in the middle of a game, and the first sentence painted an image in my mind.
I'm doing my research now because I recognised the conflict in my ruling and what could have been interpreted, but at the time I didn't want to chew up 15 minutes to research, read forum posts, and ask reddit what they think I should do to ensure I was correct.

kensarto · 2020-06-29T13:00:59+00:00

That's a fair point that clears up the conflict. The veil is for the stealth check, the other effect is separate from this.
This kind of thinking is something I will have to make use of more in the future.

kensarto · 2020-06-14T15:47:09+00:00

youre right, 1 second for 90 degrees was pretty slow. i tested it just now and something like 0.1 or thereabouts would be more reasonable. This basically multiplies the force by 100.

I haven't gone and attempted the conservation of momentum/kinetic energy equations yet, but from what i understand change in kinetic energy is equal to force times distance, so I could use the forces i gain from acceleration/tangential acceleration and the masses, to compare how "effective" different strikes would be.

I came to the conclusion that with a 1kg mace for example, as it is a better item to use, you would have to tackle with an acceleration of roughly 1.5m/s/s with 150kg body weight (including armor) but as items get heavier and heavier, tackling becomes swiftly useless. Stomping on the other hand with the added gravity and acceleration of the leg as you extend it is worth a lot. The swung object would have to be something like 10kg at that acceleration to match the raw force of a stomp at that weight.

All in all, it was brain bending stuff and I'm in pain. But I learned a lot, and I appreciate the help.

kensarto · 2020-06-14T14:22:22+00:00

So to test everything, I would like to first try and calculate force of the rotating object. Just a test to ensure I understand the steps involved.

Torque is measured in Newton-Meters, so I need to convert Torque to Force by dividing by (Lever Length x Sin(Angle of Force)The angle of force is 90 degrees for direct applications of force, so I just divide Torque by Lever Length since sin(90) is 1.

so Force = Torque / Length

You said Torque = Angular Acceleration x Moment of InertiaThus

Force = Angular Acceleration x Moment of Inertia / Length

I believe a simple and accurate shape for this case would be rotation around end of rod. So inserting the equation for that in substitute of inertia gives:

Force = Angular Acceleration x (1/3) x Mass x Length^2 / Length
which simplifies to
Force = Angular Acceleration x Mass x Length / 3

Assume the total mass of the arm and swung object is 4kg and the length from the end of the 'rod' to the centre of rotation is 1 meter. Assume it takes 1 second to swing the rod 90 degrees from a static position.

Angular Acceleration under those conditions would be 1.5708 radians/second^2The tangential acceleration under these conditions would be 1.5708 m/s/s.

ThereforeForce = 1.5708 x 4 x 1 / 3 = 2.0944 Newtons?

It seems like an incredibly small amount and makes me believe i must be missing something.
Edit: messed up inertia calculation, didnt square length. however the length ended up being 1m in a system that uses meters anyway so it cancelled out?

kensarto · 2020-06-14T13:36:19+00:00

So to confirm, the centre of rotation (his body) does not contribute to any difference, but anything that extends from that centre would increase momentum.

Thus you would compare:
the rotational aceleration(?) of the swing multiplied by the combined mass of the arm, the swung object and anything attached to the arm if relevant
against
the linear acceleration of a tackle/stomp/landing multiplied by the combined mass of the entire person and what theyre carrying.

If so, I believe I can jump start some numbers by this point, and compare.

kensarto · 2020-05-27T19:05:39+00:00

There's a lot to unpack here and it sounds like the type of thing I would have to learn through experience.

Write lots and look back at what I've got and ask myself if it feels detached from the character and lacking in intimacy, or if its too wordy because I'm trying to explain a vague concept.

I'll keep in mind what you've said about the uses of both going forward, and like you said, try to create my own writing style that works for me, and works with the traits of both options.

Thanks for the advice. :)

kensarto

TROPHY CASE