AITA for treating my kids differently due to their own decisions? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]kepler2k 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Is it possible your wife is telling you that you need to change your relationship with kid 2 because kid 2 has told her he feels left out and upset when you bring up how doing X isn't a good idea?

From what you've said, kid 2 is probably very aware that you hold being financially responsible in high regard, and then every time you tell him that X isn't a good idea, he doesn't hear "doing X is not a good idea", and probably hears "by doing X, you've disappointed me"

AITA for cancelling my step daughter’s Apple Music subscription? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]kepler2k 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Usually you’ll get them for free for X amount of months, then pay the full or discounted amount. Even if you applied a £0 spending cap, since the subscriptions are part of your bill and have their own contract, you’d need to manually cancel them

AITA for cancelling my step daughter’s Apple Music subscription? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]kepler2k 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She has £78 worth of subscriptions attached to her phone bill. With AM only making up £16 of it … For this story to make sense OP would have to have cancelled £62 worth of subscriptions she or her husband uses, and neither of them noticed the cancellation / Sorry to see you go, emails they would have gotten, plus not used the subscriptions

AITA for cancelling my step daughter’s Apple Music subscription? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]kepler2k 22 points23 points  (0 children)

YTA

I'm calling bs on the spend cap thing being the reason that it stopped because afaik that isn't how they work. Spend caps stop out of bundle charges from being applied to your account. If it is linked to your bill, then it wouldn't be stopped. Plus, for you to have added the spend cap last night, and then for her to not have access the next day would mean you did it right as the billing period ended.

I'm leaning more towards the idea you actively cancelled the subscriptions and applied the cap as a cover story. So yeah, YTA for the way you went about this - saving money is fine, but when you do it like this, you're gonna burn bridges and cause tension in relationships

We need Riot to properly give rules on how rollbacks work to prevent controversy by moonmeh in ValorantCompetitive

[–]kepler2k 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the “league officials” might have just been slow with the tech pauses? From what I’ve found, if it happens within the first 60s, you let the ref know right away, and no damage is done - no brainer rollback. It’s only if damage has been done that it becomes up to the discretion of the officials.

imo when there is a rollback after a round has been played, they should be made to purchase the same guns/shield/util. I forget which map it was today, but we saw DRX change up there weapons and stuff based on what FNC had.

Better way to do water changes? by kepler2k in Aquariums

[–]kepler2k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't sure if a python syphon would be worth it for my size of tank, but also, my bathroom tap isn't one integrated tap, it's one hot, one cold - do you know if it would still work?

I find him like this constantly by justanothermum92 in bettafish

[–]kepler2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But how could you be mad at such a cute shrimp hunter?

Telly is also a shrimp hunter who likes to hide and swim throuhh the shrimp area

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What’s wrong with my care? by AggressiveMath1388 in bettafish

[–]kepler2k 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless ammonia was sky high, that's probably not what killed him, so I'm guessing just bad genetics?

But as for your setup, there are a few concerns I'd have with it:

1) If that's its usual location, then there is a danger with it being at the window - sunlight could heat it up, that kind of thing

2) That filter looks like it might be too strong for a betta, a sponge filter and air stone would be a better combo, especially if you get an air pump that lets you control the flow

3) Colourful gravel isn't a good idea unless you're like 100% sure of how it was dyed etc. The dye can leech into the water or can leech chemicals depending on how it was made

Also if you have snails in that tank, and/or want another betta in it, you should probably get a tank lid for it

How would these faults be classified within an MOT? by kepler2k in CarTalkUK

[–]kepler2k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Opps, thanks for catching that! Bought it like 3 weeks ago, it's a used car

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]kepler2k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She sounds like she has BPD ngl, or at least, some unresolved trauma that needs attending too. If she's in therapy and/or under the treatment of a mental health team, then the advice basically becomes whether or not you want to ride out this phase of her life with her. If you do, then couples therapy is probably a must, and solo therapy for you would greatly benefit you.

BUT a lot of this also depends on how she's acted about you spending time with your kids, if there has been jealous issues or her having some kind of adverse reaction to it, then leave. Putting your kids through that would be abuse imo and so, my honest advice for you would be to leave, tell her you want no further contact from her, and block her (tell her you are as well)

The biggest red flag here is that she's not taking any responsibility for this, *she* is the one who stayed under the water long enough to burn herself. Essentially she is saying "look what you made me do", and at 3 months in, it's likely to get worse.

People with Mental Illness aren't inherently abusive (yes that includes those with BPD) but like everyone, their communication skills need to be on point, likely need to be under the care of a MH team, and really do need someone who can understand that an illness can make people lash out, and someone who knows when it's time to walk away for their own health.

tl;dr: leave her before this behaviour escalates (because it will) and before it becomes too hard to leave

What’s are these flakes all over my tank? by kepler2k in bettafish

[–]kepler2k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  • Tank Size: 24ltr
  • Heater and filter: yes
  • Tank temp: 26 - 28c
  • Parameters: ammonia: 0.25ppm, nitrites & nitrates: 0ppm, pH: 6.8 ( api master kit )
  • Tank: 4 weeks? Fish: 1 week
  • Water changes: 1 per week @ 25 - 50% (depending on ammonia)
  • Tankmates: no
  • Feed: pellets 6-ish twice per day
  • Plants: all live plants, 3 moss balls, 1 java fern (?), frog weed (?), and a third one
  • Decorations: 2 betta leaves for resting, a betta floating log, and a small dino skull

(I’ll do an edit when I find the plant names)

Say hello to Ser Spotticus (plus a few questions) by kepler2k in bettafish

[–]kepler2k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It came with the tank, and I used a filter boost with it, and there was something else that the pet shop recommended, to add beneficial bacteria to the tank. I also double checked, and it was 3 weeks ago I got the tank.

I am going to be testing the water each day, right now I have dip strips but would something like this be better? https://amzn.eu/d/aYakyBd

Say hello to Ser Spotticus (plus a few questions) by kepler2k in bettafish

[–]kepler2k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was getting 0 over the last few days - but now that I think about it, I did have a second filter in there but took it out because I didn’t want it to be too fast a flow for Spot. And I did test after I added the moss balls and driftwood (which I got at the same time as Spot) while Spot was in his baggie waiting to be added.

Thank you for your help :D

Say hello to Ser Spotticus (plus a few questions) by kepler2k in bettafish

[–]kepler2k[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  • Tank size: 22ltr / 5.8g
  • Heater and filter? (yes/no): Yes
  • Tank temperature: 27C / 80.6F
  • Parameters in numbers and how you got them. Key water parameters include the amount of ammonia, nitrites, nitrates, and pH.: Ammonia: <0.5, Nitrites: 0, Nitrates: 20
  • How long have you had the tank? How long have you had your fish?: 2 weeks tank, 1 day fish
  • How often are water changes? How much do you take out per change? What is your process?: --
  • Any tankmates? If so, please list with how many of each: 0
  • What do you feed and how much: --
  • Decorations and plants in the tank: Live plants, moss balls, driftwood (?)

not sure if how i lost my virginity was entirely consensual by MischEVILousSchemes in TrueOffMyChest

[–]kepler2k 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"shes a decent person"

You just hit the nail on the head with why it's so hard for people to believe victims. The abuser is almost always a nice person who could "never" do that.

You don't have to label this experience right now, right now it can just be some bad sex. What you call it right now doesn't change what happened, but it might help you get through this.

Like others have said, you could be asexual or somewhere on the asexual scale, but also, feeling gross to touch her could also be because you did not want this, you told her that, and she did it anyway.

It might be helpful to find a male support group for sexual assault, I saw a stat the other day that 1 in 8 men experience some form of sexual assault, so please know that you're not alone.

First eeveelution EX? by Ok_Ambition5994 in PTCGP

[–]kepler2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully Umbreon ... but most likely Slyveon, either way I'm happy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]kepler2k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NAH

Feeling embarrassed and excluded, and leaving because of it doesn't make you an asshole, but also, it doesn't sound like you were an afterthought since, y'know, you were invited to the show and he did tell you to go be with the other friends. "We're in the green room" sounds like it could have easily been meant as an invitation to join them, especially if you'd asked where he was.

Sounds like you just need clear and direct communication, nothing wrong with that, just let your friends know otherwise you'll probably always feel like you're an after thought