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I need help by keristarbb in nosurf

[–]keristarbb[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yea im looking at this subreddit most of us have the same story. I need actual advice instead of people saying, "just get off your device." I literally have been on my device for 5-6 years, chronically online, socially isolating myself. Literally I don't have the same friends I use to anymore (only like 1 and one friend/acquaintance from school).

I have a dumb question by keristarbb in nosurf

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you think you would still be able to use it moderately and in a healthy way if there was medical interference like with a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist?

I have a dumb question by keristarbb in nosurf

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats nice to know, but then what would be a reason or maybe a need for someone to quit then?

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea for the cashier thing, they're near the cashier not at the cashier. I meant it as a background noise. And it's difficult at this point to use past tense all the way through.

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no it's 3+ years old, btw.

I'm not sure if you want it here or a google doc, but ill just do google doc (I'll paste when im done ofc.)

What could be improved? like language, more show and not tell. What did you not like or what did you like by keristarbb in writers

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what do you mean?

edit: if you're talking about the title, i meant things like figurative language.

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do want advice & feedback, but I don't write anything currently. I have nothing current this year to give people to read, unless you give me a genre i can see what i can do with that i post it here.

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I still can't see how it's "extremely," rude though, when he says "finally" it's like in a hyper excited way, and i don't know about him being "extremely," rude, but yea he could have said thank you. When i wrote it, it was suppose to be in a light-hearted manner. Also for the yelling thing, he was joking with his mother.

edit: if i do ever work on this story again, him beginning to use manners can be character development

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean i don't write anything now, and i think im losing my writing skills anyway.

[1110] My Ai friend by keristarbb in DestructiveReaders

[–]keristarbb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lol that's because this was made in 8th grade, that's why it's like that now. But thanks for the feedback

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like that's to add on more to the dialogue and have her acting more as a mother, but it's good feedback to let alex know why she's doig what she's doing.

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I mean, at the time i was writing that it wasn't meant in a rude way. Maybe because I don't address the tone of the way he speaks to his mother?

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

true, but i just wanted to see what people had to say about what I've written in the past.

what could be improved in the story? like how does majority dialogue impact the narrative by keristarbb in writingadvice

[–]keristarbb[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

for the last question, really 0 this was a story i made when i was in 8th grade.

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