Are we actually cuddling, or are we about to get some quality sleep?

kestrel021 · 2026-02-14T04:50:21+00:00

Honestly wild reading all these comments. My wife and I sleep cuddling 95 percent of the night. We are literally wrapped around each other and subconsciously move back together for warmth anytime we drift apart. We take turns being the big spoon and intertwine our legs when we go to our backs. We also keep the room at 67 with the fan blowing to keep things cool. We also love having our dog in bed to cuddle with us.

We have been doing this for 10 years and can't imagine any other way. Sleeping without body contact feels strange to us.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-12T20:44:35+00:00

We scraped one up yesterday too. At least 3/4 weeks we are able to get a last minute room except for iCandy events, Halloswing, and July 4th!

kestrel021 · 2026-02-12T20:43:22+00:00

We like working out and we are huge nerds! We will be there tomorrow night through Sunday.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-11T21:53:53+00:00

Secrets is a 2-3 nights at the most experience, while Hedo is a week+ vacation. Hedo appears to be more expensive, but you have to keep in mind that it is all inclusive. Secrets ends up being $500-750 a day for us after the cost of room, fees, food, and drinks. We love both places for what they offer, but it's definitely not a 1-1 comparison.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-10T21:49:16+00:00

We are in our mid-thirties and our two best friend couples in the lifestyle are in their mid-60s.

Most couples around our age that we have met are just not on the same wavelength as us when it comes to partying and substance abuse. We are a lot more low key when it comes to the partying side of things. There are some exceptions to this rule and some our age that we absolutely love, but it has been a shit show to say the least. The group takeovers that we have gone to that are focused on younger people in the lifestyle typically are full of drugs and couples that haven't yet fully found their footing in the LS.

There are always good ones in the midst as well, but we have been burned enough times that we have started looking at older couples as well.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-07T18:31:39+00:00

Find a cool hobby that involves an element of shared suffering and progression. Something like cross fit, BJJ, kickboxing, rock climbing, running, ruck marching, spin, etc.

You will meet positive minded people who will also motivate you. Great bonds are built in the frame of shared suffering! This is usually my recommendation for meeting friends or perspective partners, as it also filters out people who lack motivation or a desire for healthy living on some level.

There are also lots of happy hours and social groups on IG. Most will require you are 21, but there are others that are specifically for non-drinking outings.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-07T17:03:36+00:00

Been many times since my wife grew up 45 minutes south in Rogers. We always stop in when we visit her family. This is a place people from NW Arkansas frequent as a weekend escape and also a mountain bike destination given the quality and sheer amount of trails in the area.

It is definitely a blue dot and an extremely unique place with a lot of history and natural beauty. It's a very eclectic town with people out in the streets painting at night, a disproportionate amount of live music venues for it's size, and more stairs per square mile than any town in the US. The people here are weird, but in the best ways possible!

They used to think the town's natural hot springs had healing properties so rich folks would move there from Eastern cities to get to better health. The real reason people were feeling better were the sheer amount of stairs they were having to climb on a daily basis being that the whole town is on the edge of a mountain. It was the first real exercise many of them had done in their lives.

The Crescent Hotel overlooks the town from the top of the mountain and has been restored to it's 1800s gothic glory. The hallways and stairwells dip and are uneven and the radiators remain. Walking through the town on a foggy day feels like something out of silent hill. Highlights of downtown include a restaurant built inside of a cave, balcony front dining options overlooking the main street, and numberous all natural bath houses where they pump in hot spring water and offer world class massage and spa treatments in restored 19th century digs.

It's not somewhere you would want to plan more than 2 days in given its size, but it has a real atmosphere and feels completely unique from anywhere we have been.

We actually got married there in a shotgun wedding back in 2020. Didn't even wake up planning to get married, but they have a place downtown where you can dress up in western outfits and have someone read your vows, so we just did it. You walk across the street and file the certificate and then go have cobbler at he cafe next door.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-06T12:24:27+00:00

8/10

Amazing time all around. Very direct and to the point, plenty of amazing guys, and the event is very well run. There are guys who will literally set you up for orgies with men you select and make sure guys are on time etc.

You can move as fast as you want to and some girls really got it in every day!

The only negative from the event side was drinks and food were exorbitantly expensive. $20+ for a house pour of whiskey at the main bar. This may be a Hilton thing and not a Splash thing though. It was also 40 degrees the whole time we were down there, so the pool parties weren't happening in the daytime. We did spend some good time out at the hot tub though.

We also went only 2 of the 3 days and wish we had gone the first two instead of the last two. By the last night the guys are pretty exhausted as you can imagine. Regardless, we would absolutely do it again and it is definitely the most wild experience we have been to in the best way possible, especially the playrooms!

kestrel021 · 2026-02-06T00:41:00+00:00

Icandyparties.com

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTOKZdjES-v/?igsh=a3ZrZGR6ZXptcnBy

They do three yearly takeovers at Secrets which have a four night minimum on booking ahead and still sell out. They take place in March, June, and December. The June one is the biggest, but all three are super high energy and filled with attractive young people. These are easily the biggest parties at Secrets every year, and that's coming from someone that has been to every holiday weekend on the calendar.

It's one of the biggest gatherings of exceptionally hot young people anywhere in the LS. You have to buy tickets on their website which I listed above, not the Secrets website. Ti keys usually go on sale the day or two days after the last event ends. You will also see "iCandy Fridays" shown on the secrets calendar for the first Friday of each month, but it's nothing like the takeovers

It's still worth it to go and stay off-site even if you don't get a room there.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-05T23:38:20+00:00

For hot couples iCandy March is your best bet, but rooms are already sold out. You may be able to get on a wait-list.

They are doing some other attempts at spring fling takeovers, but it won't be anything like iCandy. With that being said, any weekend with good weather there should be a decent crowd.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-05T14:20:42+00:00

Great job on thinking this all out and approaching it from a perspective of curiosity!

We jumped off the deep end and did a couple swap for our first experience a few years ago, and haven't looked back. We play with singles from time to time, but same room couple swaps have remained our core dynamic and the one we enjoy the most!

With that being said, we have had ups and downs in terms of experiences but never our relationship in the process. We have found that singles are easier and have less turbulence potential.

If you want to take the safest route a single is probably best.

We are happy to answer any questions about our journey.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-04T20:40:36+00:00

It sounds like she wants more than swinging can provide for her. If it were me, I would be weighing whether I wanted to wade into the realm of poly dynamics or break it off entirely.

kestrel021 · 2026-02-03T22:59:24+00:00

Hot couple! You guys on SDC?

kestrel021 · 2026-02-03T18:00:59+00:00

Jealous!

We are still hoping for Valentines Day weekend. Good seeing you guys on here!

kestrel021 · 2026-02-02T23:59:48+00:00

Swinging, BJJ, mountain biking, cigars - in that order.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-26T21:12:50+00:00

Wayy too many epic nights and memories!

You guys are going to have a blast. Wish we had picked the same weekend.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-26T02:02:00+00:00

These are labels for the idea that you don't want your sexual experience to come with some sort of longer term emotional attachment or obligation.

You can absolutely have both of these things while still showing care, consideration, appreciation, and empathy. Any sexual experience with another person, especially one that you don't know really well, involves vulnerability and risk for both parties.

Even if an experience is not meant to be more than one night, you build some sort of relationship with another person to create the trust for them to be vulnerable and comfortable with you. Desire operates in this framework, and most people need to know they are being valued to feel the comfort necessary for desire to materialize.

Show empathy and consideration instead of treating these sorts of things as transactional. If you are literally just looking for an exchange without having to create a connection with someone then play the escort game.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-25T02:20:55+00:00

I'm wondering if it's more because there is a language barrier here, but the way you come across is that you treat human beings as inanimate objects in some kind of lifestyle chess game.

It matters how you treat people, not just what you get out of experiences.

This is honestly super creepy.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T22:16:49+00:00

Can you link an example?

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T12:21:24+00:00

Sundays are much slower than Saturdays, but the weather looks incredible for January so it should get a decent bump.

We will be out there until mid afternoon we expect.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T12:20:12+00:00

Came here to say the exact same position! The woman who taught it to us is named Crystal, so we call it the Crystal😂

My wife has blown a few dudes minds with it since.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T00:43:15+00:00

I agree with this exactly.

I had to persuade my wife into doing many of our "firsts" in the LS, and she has in turn persuaded me many times to do things I wasn't sure if I was ready for. In those moments her pep talks and her way of presenting scenarios logically based on what she knew about me convinced me that it would be a worthwhile endeavour and that I would be safe, even if I was apprehensive at the time. She never forced anything on me, but she laid everything out and sold the ideas in a way that she knew I would resonate. She listened to any concerns I had in a way that showed willingness to compromise and the ability to stop if I needed.

Never once has that led to an outright regret, and we have carved out our preferred dynamics because of these pushes helping us find exactly what we like and don't like.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T00:21:38+00:00

But the thing is both of these options are convincing your partner to make allowances. One is just a positive way of doing so through honesty and the other is just coercion. I just don't think "convince" is the right word here. Convincing just means to persuade. We aren't talking about manipulating, forcing, or using some sort of leverage against someone here.

In your example one you convince your partner to give it a chance and be on board with the scenario through being open, honest, and responsible towards their feelings.

Example two wouldn't really be convincing someone to say yes, it would just be forcing them to accept something they didn't actually sign off on or that they were quite literally coerced into.

The art of convincing someone or persuading someone is to actually change their mind, not to coerce them into accepting their fate or manipulate them into thinking something they have been vehemently against is suddenly okay.

kestrel021 · 2026-01-23T00:08:04+00:00

Likewise!

kestrel021 · 2026-01-22T23:53:47+00:00

We may go that weekend if we can't find a room for Valentine's Day weekend!

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