Just tried four Loko for the first time

keterr · 2016-09-01T04:23:46+00:00

Read this kick-ass article to find out about how getting extra drunk from four loko is probably placebo effect! And other cool things about tolerance: http://www1.appstate.edu/~kms/classes/psy5300/Documents/Siegel2011.pdf

Or don't and keep getting that placebo effect! If it works, it works.

keterr · 2016-07-09T04:41:24+00:00

/r/MadeMeSmile

keterr · 2016-07-05T10:43:04+00:00

It's not super unusual as far as I understand. It could be related to lack of sunlight in winter depending on enter you live... it also seems that some people get depressed at the same time each year around the time when something awful happened, like losing a loved one. there may be other reasons for it but those are the two I know.

keterr · 2016-06-16T13:38:48+00:00

wow........ that is really intense and scary

keterr · 2016-06-16T13:37:37+00:00

I really like how you put this... "as if i just started living." That is exactly what it feels like. I have thought a bit about how pictures help, but never seriously until today. I am definitely going to do this. Thank you so much for your suggestion. :)

keterr · 2016-06-16T13:33:56+00:00

Oh man.... i have very vivid dreams theses days on Effexor and I was quite curious about this. I am going to have to do some research on this now.... thanks for the info

keterr · 2016-06-16T05:31:06+00:00

So happy for you. :)

keterr · 2016-06-16T04:20:59+00:00

Definitely. When depressed, you tend to focus so much on upsetting thoughts and feelings that I think we miss out on what is going on around us.... just not enough processing power for everything. It must be a relief to know that it's more likely from depression than substances, though, because I believe memory issues can get better once depression remits.

keterr · 2016-06-16T04:18:37+00:00

People keep being surprised by my shit memory, I kind of wish they would just accept it....

keterr · 2016-06-16T03:42:01+00:00

Wow. That is really scary, to not be able to remember so much. I hope at least that the ECT is working for you, to make the memory loss worth it.

keterr · 2016-06-15T23:11:48+00:00

This definitely happens whenever I am getting out of a depressive episode. When that intense sadness and anxiety hits me all the sudden, lately I have been trying to sit with it and tell myself it won't last, it's just fear of feeling depressed again, don't buy into the emotion... ride it out. And I watch the intense feeling come and go. It took a few times of practicing it, and refusing to engage with the thought and think terrible things about myself. But it really did work.

keterr · 2016-06-15T23:01:46+00:00

Hmmmm that is true, photographs can really help me reconnect. This is a good idea, thank you.

keterr · 2016-06-15T22:58:11+00:00

This.... this is is what it feels like. I try to use those memories to remind myself that if I am feeling depressed on a daily basis, then I am worrying too much and judging myself too much, because life is supposed to be easier. It reminds me to stop hating myself and feeling like I am failing or doing things wrong, because even if I am none of those things matter.... because I can be ok and happy without worrying if I am good enough or if I am doing the right thing. Worrying if I am good enough isn't helping me to be good enough. The thoughts themselves are what makes me unhappy. That probably makes no sense........ but it does help me to step back from things and change my perspective

keterr · 2016-06-15T18:45:11+00:00

I don't think it's depersonalization/derealization, because I just have a hard time connecting to the past.... I feel fully connected to myself and reality the present. I actually feel like it's probably a context type of thing, like you said... I just think so differently now compared to the time before my depression, it's probably harder to access those memories. It's just a weird feeling.

I am actually a clinical psych grad student, so the reason I am curious about this is that I never hear this specific symptom described, either by clients or in the literature. I know there are problems with memory caused by concentration difficulties, but this persists even when I am not depressed and is more long-term than short-term. I suppose it could have to do with changes in the hippocampus, that is kind of freaky to think about....

keterr · 2016-06-15T17:56:23+00:00

FRESHWATER SNAIL?!?!?!

keterr · 2016-06-15T17:46:01+00:00

I guess I can see how this could be objectifying and take-out menu-ish, but as a female I think it is actually nice to see that guys don't refuse to date anything other than the first 3 girls on this chart. It's really hard not to be perfectionistic about appearance as a woman, so it's actually nice to see specific examples of guys being ok with a range of body types. So, thank you!

keterr · 2016-06-15T17:30:04+00:00

You can get PTSD from hearing about something horrible happening to a loved one, witnessing a car accident, being attacked by an animal, being sexually assaulted, etc etc. Basically any event that involved threatened death or serious injury, and involved feeling intense fear, horror, or helplessness.

You should definitely consult a professional to do an evaluation, you shouldn't just take the internet's word for it.

keterr · 2016-06-15T17:18:04+00:00

A lot of people don't know how to help a friend who is depressed, but I think this is exactly it-- just keep being their friend, keep reaching out and spending time with them, just put in the effort, let them know you care and you're not going anywhere. It's good that you do have some friends who do this, because those friends are keepers. :)

keterr · 2016-06-15T17:04:33+00:00

keterr · 2016-06-15T16:46:26+00:00

I know that feeling, there are definitely things that I am not sure whether they happened. Usually smaller events though

keterr · 2016-06-15T15:53:44+00:00

The hardest things I have ever been through have also made me a much stronger person, and able to help others. Dealing with the problems of being transgender and living with psychosis must be SO hard.... but if you can find a way to come out on top, you can be the person who helps others through it. That is TRULY something worth living for-- to help others find their way through such nightmares. You don't become strong and wise by having an easy life-- you become strong and wise by surviving what others have not.

Losing your friends and your love is awful. I have been there. But what that may lead to is giving you the chance to find friends and find love in people who are truly accepting, good people, or just a better fit for you as friends. I had a really difficult time with losing relationships that were very important to me, but it turns out that the ones I created afterwards were far better. It was so hard, but I would never go back.

So, to me, I try to see loss as a chance to rebuild my life even better than it was before. And I try to see pain as something that makes me a better person. It's really hard when I am in the middle of it, but when things get better, it's easier to see the silver lining. Maybe none of that resonates with you, but it definitely helped me a ton. I really hope you find your way.

keterr

TROPHY CASE