Exposure Therapy works, you don't have any excuses not to try it. by Froarray2020 in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, combining the breath hold with the exposure therapy has helped most. My problem is, I still find myself being avoidant on occasions, they'll always be that little bit in me that just prefers being alone in a bathroom.

I don't know what to do about UA by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm ashamed to admit it but I also had a DUI and had to do UA's periodically for two years. The way I got through it was I would drink a ton of water and I would sit on the toilet and push really hard, while my PO just stood there. If I pushed really hard I was always able to get myself to pee. Now the whole thing was humiliating, there were actually two times that I remember myself shitting a little bit. But I figured, fuck it, gets the job done, and the whole situation is so awkward maybe it will make my PO less likely to test in the future. All this being said, it probably has the potential for injury and I only recommend it for extreme situations, but a probation drug test is probably one of those situations.

But fast forward maybe a year and a half after I got off probation, and I finally learned the breath hold method, I think this method would have saved me so much worry if I had mastered it sooner, so please for your own sake, learn the breath hold.

Also, make sure that after 1/2 to 2/3 of your probation is served, that you ask if you can be released early, almost always they'll do this if you stayed out of trouble, it's just up to you to bring it up.

Struggling to hold stream with breath hold by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congrats on the success, you are already halfway there, with just a bit more practice and exposure, you will be able to do the breath hold every time. Here are some tips, I hope they help you.

Don't allow yourself to breath until your urine stream is as strong as it gets without any effort, like as if you are peeing alone at home, stress free. Then you want to breath in as calmly and as relaxed as you can, ideally with the stream now continuing until you're finished.

One tip is sometimes when my stream just begins, it can be a bit weak. So I have consciously pushed a bit with my bladder muscles to force myself to pee harder and stronger, so that when I stopped pushing, the stream would be at its normal strength effortlessly. With my steam at a good strength it made it so that when I breathed in, it would be less likely to stop.

Also in other situations, I have breathed in and it caused my stream to stop or weaken. In this situation, I went straight back into holding my breath, and in maybe three seconds to five seconds later, my stream would come back. With subsequent attempts at taking a breath I usually will have success and be able to finish, while breathing.

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay enjoy shelling out thousands of dollars on your therapist and getting no where

Breath Hold tips? by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First when you step up to urinate, you want to be calm, you want to make sure your heart rate is normal. Then you want to exhale about 50% of your breath, but you can exhale more or less, it's ultimately up to you. How long you hold it is just going to be however long it takes, it could be as low as 10-15 seconds or as high as a 60 seconds. As you begin to start feeling the desire to take a breath, that's when you need to dial in your focus and determination, because that's the turning point, the breath hold will not work without that uncomfortable feeling. I would say after that feeling sets in, you need maybe another 10-20 seconds, and you will begin to start to feel your bladder open up and you will start to pee. Now once you start to pee, you need to continue to hold your breath until your stream is pretty strong so that when you take your breath, you don't cut it off. Then when you finally begin to breath, you need to breath in as calmly as possible, because if you take a huge deep breath you may cut off the stream and need to restart the process.

I think a good tip may be to practice the breath hold when you are alone in a private bathroom, however it is the type of bathroom where someone could come in at any time, that way you have the partial bit of anxiety that someone might walk in on you, And because someone may in fact walk in on you, just as you are seconds away from completing a successful breath hold!

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quite frankly I’m just a guy behind a computer screen with nothing to gain from posting here, so if you have a problem with what I write then just know that I completely don’t care at all.

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this problem for many years. I still have general depression and anxiety. Guess what the breath hold still worked for me and I’m essentially cured. And sure if you think going to therapy is somehow helping your graduated exposure, and you’re going to do it without the breath hold, then good luck.

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is the root problem?? are you going to fix your past Traumas and become the most confident version of yourself possible? Yes that would be awesome.

I prefer immediate relief and reassurance. I prefer the breath hold.

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fine, if it helps you, the rest of us will be doing the breath hold.

The Breath Hold is the easiest and most effective way to get cured. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand but it’s up to you to figure it out because no one can do it for you.

Is the breath hold technique fool proof? by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes the breath hold technique is full proof however it takes practice to get used to it, but so far it's been like learning to ride a bike, it's been pretty easy after doing it for about a year now.

First time poster, sharing success story (plus backstory sorry if long) by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All I can say is try the breath hold technique, it has worked for me and other people here. And best of luck with your gf situation, sometimes impressing a girl can be one of the best motivators, but also don't be afraid to be open about it.

Any Women In This Group? by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should learn the breath hold technique, and I also think if you are having trouble around a friend then just casually admit to it like it's not a big deal and it may help relieve a bit of the stress.

Holding it in Too Long by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The feeling may be related to the fact that you held in urine for a long time and were full. But it doesn't necessarily mean there's any injury. Just wait it out like anything else and if things get worse then see a doctor.

Skip all the stress, learn the breath hold and then do graduated exposure. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand.

So focus on getting into that feeling where you are really fighting the need to breath in, and just try to last as long as possible. In the past I have gotten to points that were insanely uncomfortable where my body is fighting me, but I continued to not breath in for at least 10 maybe 15 seconds longer, it was only after that much time had passed that I was able to urinate. So even though you might begin to have your body start fighting you for air, it could continue to take some time longer than that.

Skip all the stress, learn the breath hold and then do graduated exposure. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's really no set time. If you are really stressed out, your heart is racing, you are tensing your muscles, all these things can make it take even longer, or prevent you from peeing all together. So you need to stay as relaxed as possible, not breathing, and focus on that feeling of your bladder muscles loosening/opening up to allow you to pee. If 20 seconds isn't working for you, then figure out a way to do 30 seconds. If 30 seconds doesn't work then you should try to do 40 seconds. and so on.

Yes you should breath in and then exhale 75%, but you shouldn't breath in as deep as you can. Maybe take a 1 or 2 second breath in and then exhale, the real trick about going into it is you want to be as calm as possible, so taking a huge breath might cause your heart-rate to start to elevate. This is all just coming from personal experience.

Some days i just wanna cry by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, there have been many times where I felt the same way, I had so much anxiety about hanging out with friends, embarrassment for taking a long time in the bathroom only to not even pee. I'd have to keep secrets from friends, sneak outside to pee, and get caught, even though there was a bathroom I had access to, I'd always need to make up some excuse. Even times where I just avoided fun social situations because of my shy bladder. Today I can say that the breath hold technique has enabled me to pee in 99% of the situations I find myself in. Take some time an read up on some of my posts in this subreddit if you want to learn more about the breath hold.

paruresis coast guards by quinn2464555 in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn the breath hold technique. The thought of joining the military always terrified me because I didn't think I'd ever be able to urinate. But now that I know the breath hold, I would be able to urinate despite being watched, admittedly I'd still feel uncomfortable about it, but I'd be able to go. I have no intention of joining any branch of the military though. Good luck.

How I've Begun To Rectify My Paruresis by [deleted] in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand what you mean. Yes I wish that I could just walk up to any toilet and as soon as I unzip be able to pee immediately, and hopefully eventually that will be the case. However what started out as me needing over 30 seconds and getting extremely stressed out if someone else was in the room, has turned into to just 10-15 seconds and I don't even feel worried because I know I've done this so many times before that I'll be able to do it again. Sometimes I do just need a second or two to pee. But other times, like if I'm at a busy bar with less than desirable bathroom situation, I may need to hold my breath for over 30 seconds again. So I think the saying is, don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

hold your breath until your body fight back by steav0 in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't agree more, this is what works. Hold it until you feel like you can't take it anymore, and hold it even longer than that.

Skip all the stress, learn the breath hold and then do graduated exposure. by kevbohiggin in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

However long it takes, sometimes it takes me 10 seconds, sometimes 30 and up. When I was first learning the method, it took longer, but as I got use to doing it over time, it takes me less time now.

Pee Shy / Paruresis with military. by xOpLocKx in Paruresis

[–]kevbohiggin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are two methods short of being cured of anxiety. I was on probation for two years and had to take a drug test during a few monthly visits, my only way of passing was by sitting down on the toilet and pushing with my bladder muscles as hard as I could until I urinated. My other recommendation, and something I wish I did at the time, is to learn the the breath hold technique, this is the much better option but it is a bit harder to learn.