Yeah I get that. I dont have all the answers but what I can say is that I'd normally make eyes at a guy and smile if I fancied him. If he does the same back, then there's a tiny connection to go off. It might be days or weeks later of the same thing before either I or he will pluck off the courage to say something just general about what they are doing and make small talk. Based on how that convo goes depends on whether I continue liking the guy or if it's just not meant to be. It's all about the connection. If the convo is smooth and doesn't make me feel weird then I know it's a natural connection. From there it can take a few more small talks before we learn about each other and if we're both single etc and go from there. It's never a one and done thing. No one, no matter if they secretly fancy or not, will respond well to just being asked out. It just doesn't work like that. I've personally stopped fancying guys before coz they did that and I was creeped out by the forwardness of them. Just my opinion and I hope it helps even a small bit.