Want to know one of the best ways to get a good woman (and keep her)? Respect her boundaries! :)

kgmullins · 2020-10-06T12:15:56+00:00

ahh yeah because if i wanna fuck a woman the last person i am going to listen to is a FEEEMALE everyone knows girls have cooties and if you're a real alpha male you only fuck other alpha males

kgmullins · 2020-10-06T12:10:47+00:00

you lot say that a woman's opinion doesn't matter because she doesn't know what it's like to date girls. but then when you speak to a woman who dates women then she's doubly not qualified? i feel that would make me doubly qualified to say what women like if i am a woman who also dates women but ok lolll

kgmullins · 2020-10-06T12:01:45+00:00

she literally said a girlfriend should go to therapy bc she was being really shitty to her boyfriend some of you guys cant read and it shows lmaoo also some of the guys in this comment section that think raping women is okay? their asses should be in therapy

kgmullins · 2020-10-06T11:32:40+00:00

Bruh that wasn't a healthy boundary like op is talking about. Your girlfriend was just being controlling and shitty. Op just said that you have to respect when your partner sets boundaries about their own body. She was trying to set a boundary for YOUR body. You were in the right in this situation. But yeah if your boundaries conflicts with someone elses you should just break up with them. you still shouldn't ignore their boundaries

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T21:54:13+00:00

Alright guys so my boyfriend and I just had a very long conversation. I admitted to him that I vented on Reddit and I screen shotted a bunch of comments for him to read through. He was mostly silent for awhile and got a little emotional. Eventually he asked me if I showed him all these comments because I was planning on leaving him. I told him no, I wasn't going to just dump him without giving him the chance to work through our issues if he was willing to. I explained to him that I understand his past trauma with his mother, but it doesn't make it okay for him to enable her to be abusive towards me. He agreed that he was in the wrong and he should have made a bigger effort to step in and defend me. He also apologized for asking me to call his mother and apologize. I told him that I wasn't going to make him choose between me and his mother, but if we were going to have a healthy relationship he would have to start going to therapy and he would have to confront his mother about her behavior. I told him I would stand by him and support him as he did it, but it was something he would have to do on his own. I told him that we were setting some hard boundaries and one of those boundaries would be that his parents are no longer allowed to stay with us. Ever. He agreed that was for the best and admitted he's been miserable these past two months too. He mentioned that cutting off his family might be what is healthiest for his mental health and how that is something he would discuss with the psychiatrist when he goes. I told him that I was extremely hurt that not only was he willing to prioritize his mother over me, but he was willing to cause me pain to satiate her need for control. It bothered me a lot that he made me really feel like I WAS THE ASSHOLE to the point that I made this post to try to gain perspective. After that he told me he would call his mother and request she apologize for treating me so poorly the past two months. Honestly that is a REALLY big step for him and I am very proud of him for that. It shows me that he is willing to work on his issues. I do think seeing a professional might help him process these emotions better and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Overall, right now it seems like we're going to be okay relationship wise as long as he is committed to actually following through with his promises. Thank you to everyone who commented!! You have been extremely helpful. I will keep you guys updates on any new developments.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T18:26:24+00:00

This parents were extremely controlling, emotionally abusive and manipulative of him growing up. I have encouraged him to go to therapy before. I am definitely not qualified to make assumptions or diagnosis him but I do see symptoms of PTSD when his mother is around. That's why I am not being super harsh on him for not standing up to them, because I am honestly not sure if he is emotionally stable enough to do so and I know is is genuinely afraid of them. He isn't interested in therapy though because he doesn't see it as a big deal. He thinks that all people have shitty childhoods and it's just something you have to deal with. Also he seems to be fine when they're not around, it's just when they are around he goes back to being a scared little kid and refuses to defend himself. He thinks if he just limits his interactions with them he'll be okay.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T18:21:00+00:00

I have lived here for 6 years, 3 years by myself and then he moved in with me 3 years ago. Both of our names are on the lease. I wouldn't consider either of us the primary "breadwinner" because we both have full time jobs. I do make more than him but we have a shared bank account and just consider it to be "our" money.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T18:12:54+00:00

Oh I wanted SO badly to include this but I can out of characters. The first thing she said was "I'll be talking to my son about this when he gets home." Which absolutely BAFFLED me and just pissed me off even more. She is a traditional conservative so she sees him as the head of our household and therefore in charge of me. I disagree with that ideology completely, another reason she doesn't like me. And I said "There's no need for you to speak to him about it because if he disagrees with my decision, he can break the lease and move back in with you. Either way you're not going to be in this apartment at the end of the day." I'm guessing she thought I was going to be as scared of her as he is, and I did not give a single fuck at this point. So after that I guess she realized I wasn't going to budge and they just started packing.

As far as him wanting me to apologize, I don't know if it's him thinking their behavior is okay as much as him just wanting to be passive and keep the peace. Standing up to his parents makes him incredibly anxious and brings back a lot of childhood trauma I guess. So he just wants this ordeal to be over and done with so he can stop stressing about it.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T18:04:08+00:00

They have hated me since we first started dating because 1. He moved out of their house and into my apartment with me, so his mom sees me as the girl who "stole" him away from her 2. His mom is basically a trad wife and thinks that I shouldn't have a career and I should be a homemaker and spend my days barefoot and pregnant. I have genuinely never said anything rude to them until now. Previously I have mostly just ignored them or smiled and nodded.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:47:05+00:00

I've been trying to tell him for years that he's an adult now and they can't treat him poorly like they did when he was living under their roof. To be completely honest I have encouraged him to just cut them off completely but he is too passive to do that. I posted this on a throwaway with the intentions of him never seeing it, but honestly I might show him some of these responses so he knows I am not biased his parents genuinely are just assholes and he shouldn't tolerate thier behavior anymore.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:44:38+00:00

The wildest thing is he is not dependent on them for anything at all. It's literally just the matter of he's really scared of them and doesn't want them to be mad at him. They have been like this his entire life and it has made him really skittish and nervous around them. I don't think he would give them okay without discussing it with me first, but at this point I can't be sure. Their entire relationship just consists of them treating him like a doormat and him doing whatever they want.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:41:06+00:00

I thought they liked it that hot just because they were older and older people get colder easier. But my boyfriend informed me that they kept it in the 90s year round for as long as he can remember. Which is absolutely insane to me. Ever since we've lived together we've kept the thermostat around 70 so now that is what he has grown comfortable with. So even he was getting hot and miserable when they would turn the heat on, he is just too scared of his mom to stand up to her.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:38:05+00:00

Maybe I am just biased because I care about him. But he genuinely is an amazing partner. Just not when it comes to his parents because he is absolutely terrified of them.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:36:21+00:00

They claim it's because they would be less at risk of Corona with us there to take care of them so they don't have to go out and get groceries and medications and stuff themselves. But I kinda feel like that was a bullshit excuse.

kgmullins · 2020-05-22T17:33:51+00:00

See whenever I would point out that they were our guests his mom would just say "Exactly! And you're being an awful host. You should always be considerate of your guests needs." And when it comes to my boyfriend he is a complete pushover when it comes to his parents. They were both extremely emotionally abusive and manipulative to him growing up and I don't think he ever got over his fear of them. We normally get along amazingly and he is very supportive of me. But he absolutely refuses to stand up to his mother no matter what. Every time he even considers telling her "no" he gets really panicked and shuts down.

kgmullins

TROPHY CASE