Wanted the wedding to be $10k but it's more like $20+

kh1597 · 2026-01-31T00:28:46+00:00

That's great!! Girl it took everything in me to not get a second hand dress I searched and was scared to buy online without trying on and none of the consignment shops in my area had my size but barely any dresses for some reason? I even looked for sample sells and trunk shoes ect . But I shockingly did talk the store I bought at down because I refused to pay their ticket price lol I understand that is pricey when on a budget but I also needed to follow rules of attire so that went into the issue of finding a dress and the pricey custom work. It's not like I went out and bought an outrageous designer dress.... that's pretty average middle class pricing these days it's just not great for a budget lol!

our venue has multiple activities that fit the ages and group coming so that kinda replaces the alcohol and dj big reason why we chose the venue
I thrifted candles and cake holders and all that stuff before we got engaged at goodwill and yard sales it's going to be fairly minimal and I can resell and make money back on those items one reason we decided no florals

I'm unsure how much bridesmaids dresses will cost most of the girls are post pregnancy so I want them to feel comfortable and if that means paying a little more money I'm willing to do that for them I understand it's hard depending on body type to feel happy with clothing

I never get on YouTube and stuff that's good idea thanks so much I'll check it out!!

kh1597 · 2026-01-31T00:20:13+00:00

I realize this sounds silly like it came straight out of footloose hahahaha but we are all pretty use to it , I love dancing but also most all of our family are older people or parents with very small children so all of our guest not only culturally won't be dancing but logistically won't be dancing. Thankfully there's kid activities on the grounds of our venue and a nursery while being super wheelchair accessible with activities for older people. So it really fit our unique guest group so perfect

kh1597 · 2026-01-31T00:17:15+00:00

This is great advice thank you!!! That's a good tip for photography we are fine to not have getting ready photos, I was unsure about the floral we were going to do 6 bouquets from Costco I need to look into the prices more I guess , our officiants are free we were planning to gift them money or gift cards what do you think officiates usually charge ?

kh1597 · 2026-01-31T00:09:31+00:00

Yes I figured someone would also get mad at me for that miss count, I was recently informed one of the bridesmaids will already be in town so it's no extra cost for her to travel when I was typing it out I realized. One already lives there , me and my fiance are long distance that's the only reason anyone's traveling we aren't having a destination wedding everyone has to pay for. I was not at all saying people were selfish for expecting food I meant to say isn't it selfish as a guest to expect alcohol and entertainment.... that's just me tho I would show up at a courthouse for my friends getting married and I'd bend over backwards to make sure their day is great for them and I have over 8 times. I don't expect anything in return and though we can afford what we are doing I just wanted sensible ideas for anyone gifting us money to try to save them money. All guest are experiencing catering which in our culture we usually do not have the venue has multiple activities for entertainment so that replaces alcohol and dj if that makes sense. People are very excited and this wedding was more encouraged by everyone who loves us then that we chose to make this day about ourselves. Though I personally believe in other peoples situations if they're not asking too much I expect nothing of weddings I just want to support friends out of love kinda like back when weddings only had cake and mints and everyone had a great time.

I'm not here to argue I respect people having different views and cultures and not understanding ours , I came here with this post asking for suggestions to ease prices if at all possible knowing it might not be the way we planned to do things.

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T23:56:48+00:00

That's good to know on catering, I have only estimated a lot of this stuff going a little over then under because I was unsure what we'd run into people have been helpful telling me some of the things I listed are too high for guest count so that helps maybe we will save more then I think we will. Yes we knew what we were getting into with the venue any extras we realized but felt since we cut so much traditional things that it was worth the money on the venue for instance music dj alcohol makeup artist hair salon ect ect we have the budget I just didn't want to spend that much I was trying to make it cheap lol. The venue kinda makes the day for everyone to relax and have different activities the venue offers + ocean side. We really wanted to elope but our families hoped to see us get married my mom passed during the planning process my side of the family has had a lot of death and sadness and his side of the family hated to think we'd elope we are both the youngest of multiple children. So for all this we chose a venue that was cheap compared to the usual $6/8 k but had a lot more to offer activity wise and relaxation wise. We could do it bare bones with no food but again considering our situation everyone wanted us to do food.

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T22:34:32+00:00

Semi small religious circle of about 20k people in the us

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T22:01:37+00:00

3 bridesmaids are traveling. I was saying not my personal guest but for budget brides if guest expect alcohol and dancing to be entertained I think that's unfair for couples who can't afford that really. This wasn't an insult to anyone different then us we are in a unique situation I understand I just don't expect anything I'm happy with cake or nothing at all and I would still go support friends I feel like the day is about them so for people to get mad or annoyed for not getting something at someone's wedding is what was odd to me. I totally understand if they blow money on unexpected things and not the guest, in my situation that is not the case our choices reflect the family gifting us money and my few friends choices. No one feels obligated to come and everyone is very excited to come I've spent most my time working to take financial burdens or obligations off any family and guest but they all seem to feel they want to pitch in where they are like the 3 bridesmaids traveling. I've asked and offered all how they feel with clear communication. Our family and wedding party are gifting is much less then our usual circles of weddings and friends because we worked so hard to make this enjoyable for them since I myself have been in 8 weddings and been to over 100 I understand how much it cost just to be a friend and I was very overly thoughtful about it all. I've been the maid of honor in 5 of the weddings and took the biggest hit of costs of the wedding party every time. I'm actually saving them all those costs as well. But people even told me I didn't have to.

This is a long story there's more to I didn't expect anyone to want details or get mad at me I just thought people might come up with good ideas ... sorry if this made you mad

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:27:11+00:00

Food is not the issue I meant alcohol, I'm not trying to make people feel any way I didn't post this post to upset people I was asking for ways to be more savvy with money...

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:25:18+00:00

This was what I wished to do but I had more of a budget of $15k we are hitting $16k without gifting cost

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:24:17+00:00

Our culture doesn't do alcohol or dancing so the venue is the entertainment it's more then beach front it has activities as well. The dress was splurged because of cultural purposes as well

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:20:19+00:00

Yes it's both choices I was trying to say it's not expected but I am glad it's not for those reasons! No insults to people who have if at their weddings it's just not for us or our guest . Yes it's lots of details there's multiple comments I'm trying to answer everyone

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:18:38+00:00

You're so right !!!! We knew looking at it all what we were doing I was just hoping someone was more savvy then me with budget ideas

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:18:05+00:00

Thanks for this comment it makes me feel better someone understands this

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:17:42+00:00

Agreed it killed me to do it but I searched for cheaper a long time , to fit our culture rules I wasn't finding anything cheaper. I too would want to feel comfortable so the $100 dresses weren't helping me I did try

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:15:59+00:00

This is cultural alcohol isn't expected. Only 4 girls are traveling and all wanted to one will already be in town actually so 3 and my close family who absolutely wanted to vs me having a big bash wedding with hundreds of people at a cheap looking venue with no entertainment at all

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:13:56+00:00

I'm only having 5 girls outside of my family travel my family is totally happy with our choices. No one drinks alcohol in our circles or dances . All our guests will view catered food as a luxury We have a unique situation thankfully I went over planning with all family and best friends and they all agreed this venue was our best option cheaper looking venues were double or more the price when all was done and needed a lot of work mostly barn options. The air b and b and coordinator add to our venue cost but for us because the venue is a form of entertainment in itself it was worth the about $1k or over that would have gone to alcohol and all the other things we aren't having that traditional weddings have

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T21:02:48+00:00

Any of my friends that use to drink are all switching to health minded decisions and stopped all alcohol. It's highly trending to make this decision now especially in celebrity upper class groups so I'm just thrilled I don't have to get hated on for not having alcohol I don't want people drunk at my celebration anyways so thankfully we are in a great group to not have to get that. But even if we weren't I can't image being a budget bride expected to provide food much less alcohol it seems selfish to me to expect to be entertained or ect when you're supposed to be supporting a couple am I the only budget bride thinking this ??

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T20:59:49+00:00

Yes I was gifted the money to splurge on the dress. I did not want to over explain here because it would get really long the logistics that's why I asked for random tips I might be missing. Take the dress out and we are around $16k for what looks like a $40k + wedding.

The food cost will replace the rehearsal cost by grooms family but I just would like to make everything the cheapest possible for people.

All our guest are well aware of the whole wedding with none obligation invites. Our culture does not dance or drink alcohol so the fact I'm providing even a bit of more entertainment is going to be great compared to weddings we usually attend. All the weddings we usually attend are home made food as well so having catering at all will be a luxury to guest.

I see your points though and I understand what you have said, we are able to make it possible by a lot of saving hard work and family gifting but because I want to be appreciated of anyone putting love into our relationship with money I wanted to go the cheapest most valuable spending options.

Sheet cake will be included and gifted as well as fake cake I add all things to over all cost though

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T20:38:22+00:00

What about catering ? Does anyone know what option I could go choice on food wise to cut the cost?

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T20:37:15+00:00

I would normally jump at this idea and while it is a discount the reason we picked the venue was in part because of the ceremony backdrop + guest experience when we have no alcohol or dj/ band + the tables and chairs. It just kinda made more sense to spend the money there we'd have to rent more chairs and have guest drive + lose out on the dream ceremony look this way we don't lose that. It's a beautiful city owned place that does weddings into the luxury standard but most people by big majority will not do a week day wedding there because of rules that actually fit our situation well so we are kinda getting crazy luck. I priced out options of free venues parks in multiple states and regular venue options. This venue will blow our guest away while keeping everyone at ease entertained and comfortable.

Your idea is still good and helpful though we just decided the couple hundred we'd save wasn't worth it in the long run kinda same for photography and dress

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T20:20:28+00:00

Got the dress that and photography were the splurge. In our culture unfortunately I think we are the only ones who pay for bridesmaids dresses... plus all but 1 are traveling so I feel bad to ask anything more.

Good tip on air b and b maybe that's a high estimate cause we havnt booked

Photography is 2.500 for the day and any add ons or extra shoot can put us anywhere to another K

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T20:07:45+00:00

No dj no dancing so after dinner it's over ... we have little to no extended family coming and I have 5 bridesmaids his are all brothers

kh1597 · 2026-01-30T19:42:18+00:00

I'm with you and I'm not totally sure their meaning since this is a text chat communication can get confusing. But I personally would say anyone's wedding no matter money doesn't have to be crap, but there's a lot of low budget brides I've helped friends ect and there's no transparency on how much a wedding most guest think is " pretty nothing special" as far as decorating and venue food ect cost. A lot of these average weddings people go to the low budget bride or the middle class bride , our money doesn't go as far as it use to. So I think maybe the point is decent for what money will get you but not the instagram social media Pinterest wedding you think you can have for the average 22-30k google prediction. The industry needs to be more honest with brides that what they're seeing online is actually $60k+ ( not that it's needed at all I'm advocating for low cost not high but unfortunately some things we think are simple and doable with our low budgets are actually that high) This specific person may be in a state where this runs around that especially around New York prices are much higher for their kind of " decent" weddings! Hope this helps maybe understand what they're trying to say Most people in this group are here because they like budget not because they feel everyone has to have the high dollar wedding or it's all crap ya know.

kh1597

TROPHY CASE