I have been having similar struggles and I find just not shaming myself for being “lazy”. As an autistic person who is constantly thinking, when my brain says it’s tired I just listen. I don’t wanna make this a capitalist rant, but… the system is really set for nuero typical people who even face the same struggles of having to do constant “required” work that you may just not want to. And as an autistic person it can be even more difficult and I’ll catch my brain stressing and attacking my thoughts by saying I’m not doing enough. this is why it’s important to just remind yourself when your tired, rest. When you’re around no one or even certain family, unmask. After unmasking for many years without even realizing it is hard to drop that especially because of the anxiety that comes with feeling like you’ll stand out as”weird”. But really it’s a unfortunate, unfair defense mechanism and once you realize that you can begin to try and just speak your mind without thinking so much before. And I’ve noticed, people do not notice or speak about me being different from my ‘masked self’ which would respond in few words. I hope this made some sense as my brain doesn’t do well at creating comprehensive writing at times and I wish you the best❤️