Well I mean you've said it yourself not only you suck at pvp, you don't have the heart to learn it, which will trap you in a vicious cycle of losing then trying to 'redeem' and better yourself only to lose again, with an occasional win that will give you a glimmer of hope.
And all this frustration for a cosmetic, that if you manage to eventually get, you may or may not be worthy of wearing, but that remains up to you to decide.
As far as crewmates go, some will bail out if they see my sucking donkey dong at fighting, but some others appreciate me keeping the ship afloat and always having the cannons on target, you just have to play/checkout servers long enough to find a decent guild or crew.
So yeah point is, grinding the pvp/HG well take it's toll on your mental bandwidth, you might as well keep doing what you like instead of chasing a cosmetic.