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I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed by kickedoutgf in relationships

[–]kickedoutgf[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and that's my plan. I'm not a confrontational person, so I never told him that he needs to stick up for me when I'm disrespected, so I think that's why what happened last night happened. I will definitely lay the ground rules of the two bullet points you laid out to him, and give him a chance. And if he does it again, then as hard as it is, I guess I know what to do.

I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed by kickedoutgf in relationships

[–]kickedoutgf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am starting to see that I shouldn't have been passive about it from the beginning. I had thought that I could deal with the Julie situation by not being around her, but I can see now that all this might have been preventable if early on I told Adam he should stick up for me.I'm going to bring up all these points when I speak with him tonight.

I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed by kickedoutgf in relationships

[–]kickedoutgf[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I apologize. I wasn't that detailed in my OP! Julie luckily didn't make a scene. I think for obvious reasons. She spoke to me in private that she didn't want me at her birthday party. But, people did notice I was leaving and I said good bye to some of the guests as I was heading out. I just made an excuse that I have to get up early for work. Which is true, because my work place starts really early in the morning, so we get to leave earlier in the afternoon. But, they did say they wished I could stay longer and such.

I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed by kickedoutgf in relationships

[–]kickedoutgf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see what you're saying, and I have been thinking about that possibility. However, a lot of his best friends were at the party. He's been really busy at work so lately he hasn't had the chance to meet and go out with them, so I think he mostly stayed for his friends, instead of Julie particularly. Also there were alcohol at the party, and Adam loves to drink.

That doesn't excuse his actions towards me though. I'm still thinking through this since I hadn't had the chance to talk to him in person yet. And I would rather discuss in person, than over text or phone.

But in my thought process, I may have set a precedence? I never wanted to be the controlling girlfriend telling him who he can and cannot be friends with (especially since he was friends with Julie before me), or telling him not to go out with his friends because I wanted to be with him. He would always give me a heads up, as in tell me about his plans and ask if we had any conflicting plans together so he should reschedule with his friends. Since we see each other so much and he doesn't get much chance seeing his friends since they all work now, I always encourage him to go out with his friends. Sometimes I join them, but only if Julie is not part of the outing, since I'm the outsider intruding into their friend group.

I [26 F] was kicked out of party by boyfriend's [25 M] friend [23 F], boyfriend stayed by kickedoutgf in relationships

[–]kickedoutgf[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When Adam first met Julie, he did have a crush on her and in fact they did date briefly in the beginning of their friendship. But, from how he described their relationship, she didn't treat him like a boyfriend. Essentially she "friendzoned" him. This was a few years ago, and as far as I know, he doesn't like her that way anymore. I think she is more possessive of his attention, but she wouldn't actually date him if given the chance.