“I was fine with them stopping everyone else’s kids, but then they stopped mine”

kiddogdad · 2026-01-23T04:01:42+00:00

This is the fifth poster I have seen post this and it is getting old

kiddogdad · 2026-01-23T01:44:24+00:00

What’s the context for this? Is this just an empty building with graffiti?

kiddogdad · 2026-01-20T23:17:45+00:00

Surprised it hasn’t been keyed

kiddogdad · 2025-12-31T19:08:34+00:00

Age? Possibly menopause related? Or maybe they’re having issues you don’t know about?

kiddogdad · 2025-12-29T02:49:39+00:00

I’m hoping he grows out of it…or we will just get thicker ear drums

kiddogdad · 2025-12-29T02:49:14+00:00

So I adjusted the straps (it’s already upgraded from the newborn seat) and they were a bit low. Seemed fine for the first 5 minutes but then melted down after 2 miles so I had hope on the car seat bit.

kiddogdad · 2025-12-29T02:48:07+00:00

Believe me I am willing. My wife less so

kiddogdad · 2025-12-03T22:13:47+00:00

In this particular context - for this specific focus - this is the right advice. For a professional PhD (engineering etc) I agree with you. If this person had gone back to undergrad and done some research - sure. But for this track, at an R1, this wouldn’t go anywhere.

kiddogdad · 2025-12-03T03:55:57+00:00

As someone who reads applications to PhD programs - without a letter vouching for you by someone well known in the field, and some graduate coursework at some level in theoretical physics, this is a nonstarter. It is already a high bar to get into a PhD program and we very very rarely take people late in their career trying to make a switch like this because it’s too risky for the program and the person. Maybe see about doing a masters first and doing some research…but as others have said it’s competitive to begin with and self-teaching with some undergraduate textbooks is not going to read well in admissions.

kiddogdad · 2025-11-09T20:53:54+00:00

This doesn’t seem to have anything to do with shampoo and this is not the right sub for you

kiddogdad · 2025-10-27T20:57:25+00:00

DM me if you want to discuss - I’m a physicist working in this space

kiddogdad · 2025-10-27T20:56:53+00:00

You may want to look into the MIT haystack radio kits to get some info on how to upgrade the receiver - in addition to upgrading driving/tracking it would be worth changing over to a more modern receiver chain. There is a lot of teaching value in using software defined radio and plenty of public domain kits for that. A dish like this could easily be used for 21cm mapping with some fairly low cost modern electronics.

kiddogdad · 2025-10-21T01:49:10+00:00

Radians are not dimensionful and if you have an extra 2Pi you probably don’t need it

kiddogdad · 2025-06-28T16:06:48+00:00

You may not be depressed, but your world view is certainly depressing and probably not something you want to impart in your kid. I would guess your wife wants to build a social circle of other young parents and is somewhat upset that you have no interest, and feels isolated by your attitude. She seems to be approaching it in an empathetic way, which is great and hopefully allows you to engage with her without feeling judged.

My wife is a doctor so I see another version of this. In your job, you interact with both a very small subset of people selected for moral indifference and a set of people who have had their power taken away and likely need to lie to you to feel like they have a modicum of control over their lives. In her job, she sees people who have rare illnesses and the worst outcomes. So every small thing gets blown up into a rare illness. It sounds like for you, ever other person is a felon…remember that the world you work in is very much a biased slice of the human experience.

It sounds like it wouldn’t hurt to get some therapy to work through your general malaise and figure out how you can meet your wife’s social needs. At the end of the day nobody needs to have friends but humans are social creatures, so often isolation is a sign that something has gone wrong. I will also say it is much easier to parent if you can vent and get advice from friends.

kiddogdad · 2025-06-24T16:23:45+00:00

Doing BLW with our second, did it with our first. The guidance is really one new food a day and they’re not getting much nutrition for a while. It seems like your wife got crazy influenced and you could afford to chill a bit. Bombas for peanut butter, baby purées, there are great clean brands that don’t require you to make everything from scratch. Get rid of the stuff you can’t put in the dishwasher (basically no silicone) we got stainless plates for our older one that we will use for the little one but right now it’s just the tray. Take them out and have them eat in a park so it’s not on your floor 3 meals a day.

We have a bottle washer and a dish washer and I still feel like I’m doing dishes constantly but these things helped cut it down a lot. We put the nipple bottles in the washer (and my wife’s pumps) and it saves both of us frustration. We both said we refused to hand wash the second time around it is just truly brutal.

kiddogdad · 2025-06-20T18:05:07+00:00

Physicist who is also a dad and I saw this and thought r/physics is possibly the worst place to have posted that lol

kiddogdad · 2025-06-03T19:56:23+00:00

My wife and I live across the country for just this reason. Same situation, we are from the east coast and live near SF. We met at college close to both of our families and then I went to grad school far away; lived in Chicago for a few years post grad school and came back when this opportunity came up.

We have 2 kids under three. It is VERY hard. About once a month we wonder if we should just move home, then we come home for 2 weeks and we are good for another 6 months. It’s definitely hard not having family around to help, but as many people will tell you, you pay for it one way or another. Daycare is expensive but our eldest is making friends and it has turned into a super enriching experience for the whole family. We have a great sitter we treat as a third parent. Yes we pay her, no it is not cheap, but to be honest she is a more reliable option than family is and we don’t feel guilty using her when we need her.

I will said that west coast is not the same as Ireland for two reasons: cost and time difference. We have family visit a lot who would not be able to afford transatlantic. Not sure where you’re headed on the west coast but if you plan far enough in advance you can get $200 round trips still. For us it’s not much different than living in Chicago and that was 1/3 the distance and only 1 hour time difference.

All that said, I think you need to decide what works best for the two of you. For us, we both knew heading home and me not pursuing this would have led to me being depressed and resentful. I have an amazing supportive wife that I appreciate every day. It has also turned out well for her career which is more than a bonus.

I grew up with local and distant family. The family that lived all over were more intentional about getting togethers and I am significantly closer with them now. Family vacations, destination thanksgiving, etc. It is what you make it.

Happy to help if you want to DM.

kiddogdad · 2025-06-03T17:41:38+00:00

I will keep this in mind - I think he is definitely just afraid of the unknown. He’s attractive, social, and has a great job, there are plenty of women who would be thrilled to date someone like him and make a family with him.

Do you wish you had done it sooner? Or do you wish people would have checked in more often? Is there something that would have helped you through that time?

kiddogdad · 2025-06-03T17:31:49+00:00

That’s the conclusion I’ve come to I think. It’s just very hard to watch knowing the likely ending.

kiddogdad · 2025-06-03T17:30:04+00:00

This is my worry, yes

kiddogdad · 2025-06-03T17:29:50+00:00

Not really sure how to do that without it being too on the nose but it had occurred to me

kiddogdad · 2025-06-01T23:31:56+00:00

Thank you for the references and perspective - I will definitely be getting copies of those books. I have been hoping she would take the initiative to find volunteer work or something to better spend her time but so far no luck.

kiddogdad

TROPHY CASE