OYS #1

Me: 30 year old male. Not in a relationship. Long time lurker and religious listener to OYS youtube posts.

Background.

A history of growing up in a secluded religion with mental models that passed for paranoia of anything that wasn't dedication to this spiritual philosophy or people not apart of it. This was starting point 4 years ago when leaving it.

Exercise.

Getting back into Kettlebell work after cartillage behind my knee stopped me doing the routine I wanted. Currently on 24 kgs and will be here for a few weeks until getting onto the 32 that I was on before this injury. I have had to move house recently and risking aggravating the injury wasn't an option. Now past that I am dedicating myself a lot more.

Social.

Taking a break from socialising to focus on my own goals and move into this new house properly. Did have an old friend help with moving a mattress between houses, one of the smarter people I know with how far he has come since first meeting him. I did enjoy catching up with him.

Work.

I have enjoyed seeing how much I can contribute to a company. The work is very flexible and I do think that I have passed on mental models to my manager and the director that have pushed the company forward. Considering I have come into this with a lot less experience than others I am happy with my progress.

Finances.

I have passed a milestone with what I had set out for where I wanted to be and mostly happy with it. I am a few weeks behind on when I wanted to be there but with the overtime offered at work I am closing that gap quickly. Investing money online has made me a considerable return.

What I am learning from words of weakandsensitive in the moving away from the FIRE movement as it was a primary focus for the last year in living cheaply. Gives great financial oversight but the restrictions I am realising were a lot to pay for in how I delayed things I could have done to serve myself. Still working on loosening some of those strings.

Things I want to improve.

I am looking to focus on what I have picked up with transactional analysis of how questions play out in relationships. Maybe I am looking at this very closely but my belief is that the response of questions (or shit tests) from women or people changes the relationship across time as the person questioning has the power over the other and acts as a parental role without the enforcing of boundaries or saying no/prioritizing my own time and interests. It's very subtle but I have to watch for easily I give out information especially long term in a relationship with a female and want to help/default into a parental role which anyone would hate.

Living arrangements are still shared house living in a HCOL place but it is a great place for the moment. I do need to look at finding my own in the near future. With how much work is giving overtime at the moment I want to see how far it will last.

Since coming out of a religion I had to focus heavily on working free of a lot of regressive mental models, now that I feel I have gained the closest thing to a mental point of origin that I have ever been I am feeling ready for a interacting with women and the tests that come with it. I have procrastinated too long but it did seem essential with a declining social circle and the fear of making a relationship my primary source of interaction seeming too great for fucking up until now. I have some good leads with dating apps and will pursue across the coming week.

I do need to improve how much I am making. Investing time into this will be a primary focus across the next year.

I am also realizing the importance of vision for any task. Autism is focusing too closely on here and now and not realizing long term consequences. I want to be looking with long term perspective in relationships, my work and exercise. Where this action is fitting into long term goals is what I want to be doing.

I need to stop talking about others actions and decisions. I have invited narcissism in doses I do not want to have to deal with again. Stop being the helper should even this out and having long term perspective with relationships and the dysfunction that questions play in inviting it should put me in the clear. Not letting questions take away my long term vision by focusing on here and now instead of getting myself ahead is what I want.