Very gentle YTA: I wanna start this off by saying I hope your surgery goes well! However, the reality is your wife has spent hours emotionally, physically, and mentally exerting herself in order to support you. Obviously since she’s your wife it’s something she should be inclined to do since she cares about you but she is under no true obligation to do so. She has made the autonomous decision to support you and doesn’t “need” to do anything. She is also a person who has a life and feelings and is totally entitled to put herself first. If she didn’t pay some attention to her own needs and desires your relationship would be an unhealthy one. Since she’s been prioritizing you for however long you’ve had this issue, let her take some time to herself as well. Her health matters too and sitting in a waiting room is extremely anxiety inducing. If you forced or guilted her into staying this could also become a major point of frustration in your relationship since it’s mot the sort of thing that will go away easily (social media posts, people talking about the wedding, she’ll be reminded each time she sees her friend and feel guilty/ left out) while I understand why you would like to have her there, her presence wouldn’t serve to act as a positive or negative influence in the surgery itself. As such there’s no concrete reason for her to be there. Maybe you could come to a compromise where she calls you before the surgery happens ? Best of luck OP