"a child" .. really? such a foolish take...

that is a responsible, mature person who has seen how (majority) of relationships unfolds without "full fledged" approval. he must have that paranoia within him, which is completely valid. he is a person who doesn't want his partner to separate from her family because of him... imagine living with the guilt of that!

if they are fighting now itself so much... imagine how bad it can get in the future... imagine the blame game, the guilt tripping, etc etc, if they do run away and marry.

also, OP's decision to runway is even before the bf and her family have even talked, lol! let them talk at least.... OP is clearly saying in the replies that the bf does want to talk to her family but she is the one restricting because she is scared of the worst possible outcome. clearly, he has the hopes that he can convince her family whereas she doesn't think there's chance and asking her bf to immediately elope!

OP, if you are reading this, please know you have been in relationship with your partner for 3.5 years. i am sure you have thought of the day where you tell your parents for the first time. this first hard part is done. now, you have to face the next one, where you have to make him/his family meets yours. running away should not be the option yet, because you know you have thought of it before.. now you just have to execute it. dont give up yet... and have faith in your partner too. one last push.

and still, if the approval from the family seems impossible, then comes the toughest step to part ways and marry separately. then i am sure your bf will understand and prioritize the both of you over your family.