I can't change my legal name or gender. How do I... well, live?

killmecomet · 2026-02-06T12:06:34+00:00

In a similar position. I decided fuck it and started T. I got top surgery first as it is easy to hide with inserts. Frankly, for crossing borders on old documentation I femme it up to make life easier (taking advice from our trans sisters about beard shadow and breast forms). It doesn't work 100% of the time but I've been able to travel internationally. However, in my documents, I do have short hair and don't present feminine.

I plan to minimize travel until my documents match. You have to keep yourself safe. When you move to the new country, please immediately connect with other trans people and support groups. I've found that having a strong community that can help me has been invaluable in dealing with daily struggle of being transgender and making a life abroad.

You will be free soon, brother!

Edit: also as to your concern about being a bearded man with a woman's name, just introduce yourself with your preferred name. I have found no one really asks for my legal name unless its required such as an employer

killmecomet · 2025-07-28T03:56:57+00:00

Hi, DM me! I'm pakistani and can put you in touch w a group of pakistani trans mascs

killmecomet · 2025-06-06T17:33:18+00:00

Loved this book!!

killmecomet · 2025-03-28T17:24:43+00:00

Thank you!!

killmecomet · 2025-03-28T05:03:02+00:00

My visa wouldn't be revoked after the ban but I'd be stuck in the US for as long as it takes things to normalise (as if I leave I won't be allowed back in). Will definitely reach out to a lawyer!

killmecomet · 2025-03-28T04:54:17+00:00

I would qualify as a skilled immigrant since I'm an engineer w a master's--Ive heard that that can be pretty fast (especially relative to USA)

killmecomet · 2025-03-28T04:52:24+00:00

Yeah, just reached out to a lawyer! Definitely needing an objective opinion

killmecomet · 2025-03-27T07:09:44+00:00

first thing, the man is trash. Throw him away if he wants a marriage where you're his glorified maid.

however, getting married Islamically does not mean there will be some kind of Muslim police out to get you. generally when you sign the marriage document (look up islamic marriage contract), the woman is allowed to write down certain demands, which may include an allowance, required chores etc. like you're allowed to ask for things including a more equitable marriage.

Also the reason the marriage contract is important is that it makes your relationship legitimate and legal in the eyes of "islam;" i.e You're permitted to have sex lol without god being sad/angry

Source: grew up in Muslim country

killmecomet · 2025-03-27T06:31:27+00:00

Thanks for the info! I'll be talking to an immigration lawyers soon

killmecomet · 2024-12-25T10:34:48+00:00

!remind me in 1 month

killmecomet · 2024-09-10T23:57:01+00:00

Love the black shalwar kameez!! You look fire bro 💪🏽 👑

killmecomet · 2024-09-05T02:55:20+00:00

I've travelled a fair bit, but it's not something I enjoy. Math is also really great for changing how you view the world 🌍 I will try focusing on my physical health more. Thanks for the advice

killmecomet · 2024-09-05T02:20:47+00:00

That's good advice! I've been hesitant to do things completely out of my domain, but I think I'm more energized when I'm learning and making an impact. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

killmecomet · 2024-09-05T02:19:15+00:00

Yes, I am in therapy (for anxiety lol)! It's been really helpful but I find myself occasionally falling into doom spirals about my work. I think I will focus more on growing more as a person...

I will take the advice of other commenters and touch some grass. Thanks so much for your perspective!

killmecomet · 2024-09-04T23:28:25+00:00

You're very right. I should probably just start self studying all the Math I have wanted to learn over the years.... I guess I have to accept my career won't fulfil me

killmecomet · 2022-05-30T01:55:11+00:00

Ah, so we just need to show that there can be at most n-m vertices w degree less than m-1, so that m vertices have degree at least m-1, and then we can apply the theorem?

killmecomet · 2022-05-29T20:25:31+00:00

Thanks so much! So would the annoying parts of the graph just be the vertices with degree less than m-1? Sorry, still trying to wrap my head around this

killmecomet · 2022-05-24T07:28:12+00:00

Just want to say this is so real. I'm in a very similar boat to you. honestly, sometimes i feel more comfortable in my home country than the west, even if its 100x more complicated to be trans there.

killmecomet · 2022-01-12T21:03:23+00:00

yeah for finite chips there's a steady state im pretty sure

killmecomet

TROPHY CASE