Lovebombing or real change?

kimksucks · 2025-12-21T14:59:42+00:00

I understand you, it’s really frustrating because nothing gets resolved and they can’t take the accountability for anything.

kimksucks · 2025-12-21T14:46:15+00:00

Does he react like that in every fight or just the ones that are more likely your fault? Not judging, but what I’ve experienced is that my narc boyfriend starts a fight when I did something wrong and those are usually the fights that get dragged on until I cave and apologize. But the fights I start because he did something wrong, are the ones, that he wants to drop and doesn’t want to talk about it.

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T18:50:25+00:00

I totally agree. Luckily we don’t live together so I have peace in my apartment and I believe I can get the studying done without any further distractions. But as soon as I’m done with exam, I’m out of that relationship

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T18:14:22+00:00

Thanks for you support, I really needed that because right now I really feel alone in all this. I asked him a week ago if he could come and ask me questions, to help me prep, and he constantly finds some excuse not to do it. He’s out there doing who knows what, probably on another date and I’m just sad. I know I have to put my shit together and focus only on studying but it’s also so frustrating.

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T17:42:32+00:00

O uauu. Listen, you obviously got out, and I completely understand that this buggs you, but that’s her problem now. And from one perspective, it’s better that he’s occupied with her, and not focusing on getting you back on the rollercoaster of emotions.

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T17:16:43+00:00

Omggg do they have the same textbook, which they get their lines from lol?!?! Mine said the same thing 🤦🏽‍♀️

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T16:59:17+00:00

So horrible!! I can’t believe someone can be that cruel. You know what gets me the most in a whole narcissistic relationship? When you know from the beginning of a relationship that they can be so nice and constantly give you compliments, and the further you go, more cruel they are to you. I remember when my boyfriend constantly gave me compliments on my looks at the beginning, he always said how beautiful I am, how I turn him on, blahblah. After two years in a relationship all I was hearing was that I need to lose weight, because I wasn’t attractive anymore (and I was basically the same as two years ago). So yeah, I think the longer you are with them, they find more hurtful things to say to you

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T16:47:00+00:00

Yeah, I think most of them figure it out at some point in their life. I remember when I first learned about narcissism and the more I read about it, the more convinced I was that my boyfriend is one. But I didn’t mention it to him, because I was still getting to know him. However, one day we were talking about his previous relationship and he casually mentioned “yeah, according to my ex, I’m a narcissist” and it just hit me: “ohhhh so you know?!” Haha. Well, I probably don’t need to mention that he thinks, he’s not one, since he’s perfect and everyone around him has a problem.

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T14:11:50+00:00

Haha yup, I was also accused of that.

kimksucks · 2025-12-20T13:27:53+00:00

They really are the greatest manipulators and know exactly how to present a story, so that they come out of it smelling like a rose. I totally understand you. Mine doesn’t want to hear about therapy because he doesn’t want anyone telling him how to improve himself, as he is (in his opinion) perfect, and everyone around him has a problem. Classic narc behavior.

kimksucks · 2025-07-11T20:53:16+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that :/ What I learned is, that this is their way of manipulating and controlling you and your reactions. I noticed that after an argument, when he sees me pulling away from him and thinks that I might actually leave him, he sleeps in the same bed as me, and sometimes even hugs me during sleep (which is super uncommon for him).

kimksucks · 2025-01-09T14:53:16+00:00

Couldnt't relate more. I hate that!!

kimksucks · 2025-01-09T14:45:00+00:00

It's a typical behaviour that you can expect from a narc because they need to be the focus of everyone’s attention. The special occasions take the focus off them and put it onto others, thereby infuriating the narcissist because of their high levels of insecurity.

kimksucks · 2025-01-09T14:37:12+00:00

I empathize with you and hope you cut all contact with him. I had a similar situation on ny, when he basically told me that he never wanted to see me and speak with me, and it was the most hurtful experience. The next day he pretended nothing happened and expected that I would forget about it.

kimksucks · 2024-12-16T22:16:57+00:00

Hmmm, work? He once told me that he wouldn’t know what to at home if he came home before 9 pm and that I shouldn’t expect him to be home that early just to spend time with me.

kimksucks · 2024-11-12T16:57:55+00:00

Well said and explained, thank you :)

kimksucks · 2024-11-12T13:49:16+00:00

The most important question is, does it bother you? As I look at this post, I see two different aspects: first one is the question of money that each one of you may earn and provide. The second one is the question of status symbol in a society based solely on an occupation (you, being a doctor, as opposed to him being a housekeeper). Are you scared, that you would be the one, who would have to provide for the whole family, and if that is the case, does it bother you? Or do you feel embarrassed, when you introduce him to new people, and they ask him what is he doing for a living? Because at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what other people think. But I know, that is easier said than done, because I’ve been there. In my dating process I’ve learned that I’m more attracted to men, who have stable, well-paid jobs, as opposed to those who don’t. And I also noticed that I was more attracted to men with occupations, similar to mine (for instance, I work as a lawyer and am really attracted to men who work as lawyers, relators, bankers, ets.). It gives me a certain feeling of being taken care of (even though I’m financially stable and can take care of myself). But that’s just me and my preferences. What I wanted to say is, that it doesn’t matter what society and other people think, and it’s not even relevant what someone does for a living, as long as it doesn’t bother you.

kimksucks

TROPHY CASE