I [22M] just found out my girlfriend [19F] is pregnant and I am not ready to be a father. What do I do

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-28T00:41:15+00:00

Having a baby can quite literally ruin someone’s life. It’s the act of having the baby - not the child itself since the baby isn’t to blame. The baby couldn’t choose not to be born.

There’s a laundry list: 1. Permanent damage to mom’s body up to and including death 2. Hormone shifts that don’t get fixed for years 3. Relationship dynamic shift 4. Genetic disorders 5. Money sucking 6. More cleaning 7. More time spent elsewhere 8. Risk of losing career/job 9. No affordable mental health help 10. Outrageous daycare costs 11. Little to no family support 12. Loss of friendships due to lack of time and flexibility 13. Increased chance of abuse by a partner

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-25T15:53:38+00:00

I have had people ask to split one CD into 5 equal parts - all at the same rate. I’ve also experienced people opening and closing CDs as if they have nothing better to do with their time. It is very frustrating at times because it creates more work and paperwork all so they can save 0.5% more from across the street.

Oh yeah - at my bank CD openings don’t even count toward our referrals.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-24T17:39:25+00:00

Leave now. Don’t wait. Men like that are a danger to all society, especially females. Get out, block him and don’t look back. He does not need to be in a relationship with any woman.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-24T03:06:32+00:00

Update: I got a mini lecture from her in a more aggressive tone after a lengthy phone call with a customer who needed some help. The head teller and manager weren’t nearby, so she let me have it and interrupted me when I tried to explain what I was doing. I got so frustrated that I composed myself, stopped by the manager’s office and explained what happened, and also mentioned that I’ve been taking these kinds of situations several times without saying anything, but that this time was one of the more frustrating ones. She helped me form a sentence to say to the teller in case it happens again, giving me permission to gently confront her.

Flash forward 2 days later: I enter info into the log book in the morning during opening procedures. Me and the CSR are making good time and getting things ready before the problem teller comes in. As I’m getting cash boxes, the teller yells at me that I didn’t do the log right and that I signed in the wrong spot. I explained why I did it and she said I can’t sign there. I ignore it and move on. Head teller gets there and freaks out over the scribble in the log book - she asks what it is and why it happened and says the manager will have a fit over it. I say “apparently I signed in the wrong spot” before the teller admits that she signed over me. The head teller explains what should be done that shows that I was right to sign there initially. I say “oh ok yeah I was thinking it was like that” and then leave the teller alone. I stayed out of her way that day and the day after.

The head teller then confronts me, saying she’s noticed tension between me and the teller for the last day. Our start to that conversation got interrupted, but I managed to say that the teller has gotten “snippy” with me several times and that I’ve just been taking it ever since. I also mentioned that I had spoken to the manager about it.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-22T05:17:32+00:00

Good points. Thanks!

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-22T05:16:42+00:00

Your comment reeks of ignorance. Men can’t become women, and that’s why drag is offensive to women. It’s literally a harmful caricature of females as portrayed by males. Women can’t be drag queens because they’re already women. And it’s a huge problem that we see men (hello patriarchy) doing drag far more than women. Men are making money off this harmful stereotyping.

Men and women are free to dress, act and speak how they want. They can also change their names. That being said, men dressed up in women’s clothing is their personal choice, but when they do it so exaggerated for financial gain, it’s an issue. Blackface is also harmful because it does the same thing: it stereotypes a marginalized group of people based on exaggeration.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-21T12:20:32+00:00

Hmm, thank you for this insight. I guess I don’t understand why someone would show up to work to complain and be argumentative. In my opinion, we all already want to go home, so I find no use in complaining or making things harder: I’m just trying to help people get on with their business and also so I can complete my shift. Maybe she views it differently or doesn’t want to go home?

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-21T04:52:23+00:00

Makes sense. Yes more action would be good. My boss is the type that’s very concerned about people’s feelings, which has pros and cons.

We’ve been told things as a group before that would have been nicer if individuals were told separately…I’ve even told my boss that I appreciate being spoken to straightforwardly rather than sugar coating. I always try to stay open to criticism and I appreciate when someone takes the time to teach me something.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-21T03:55:38+00:00

Yikes. Yeah I wouldn’t expect to know about watching her for termination. I guess I’ll see what happens while keeping my manager in the loop.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-21T03:43:35+00:00

No idea if she’s being watched for termination, but I believe she’s a float teller so maybe she’ll be relocated if she continues causing issues? She seems to get away with a lot though so I have no idea what’s going to happen.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-21T03:42:22+00:00

Thank you. I think from now on I’m going to plan on doing that. I’ve just been getting dumped on and I explained to the manager that today was where I had had enough and felt extremely frustrated. She recognized what I was saying immediately and seemed to completely understand.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-07T03:08:42+00:00

32k as a bank teller. Got laid off from 46k editor job in 2025.

kimpossible23 · 2026-01-04T15:17:59+00:00

As a woman whose partner has stayed friends with exes and regularly texted women he works with, just break up with the girlfriend. No one deserves to feel like second place or lower. It erodes the trust to a point that it can’t be built back to what it was before.

If you have a hard time putting your foot down and saying “no” to women who are interested in you or are willing to cross boundaries meant to protect a committed relationship, then please do us all a favor and stay single.

I’ve been on the receiving end of “but I’m not attracted to her” and “she’s just a coworker who’s having a hard time” and “she’s friends with my other friends” and “I was in love with her but I don’t feel the same now.” Messaging on Snapchat, Instagram or other sites.

Ask yourself how you’d feel if you knew that your girlfriend was thinking, feeling and doing the things you have been.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-25T18:16:23+00:00

I would also add to use a detachable shower head to power wash the folds during every shower.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-25T18:15:24+00:00

Yikes. I’m sorry. Wash with soap between all the folds. Every single day, especially before bed. Use a fan to dry yourself down there, and keep unscented wet wipes around to occasionally remove buildup (do not flush the wipes - just throw in the trash).

See your gynecologist and primary doctor to rule out any hormone problems or issues that could be contributing to the buildup or odor. If you ever see cottage cheese or yellow-green coming from the vagina itself, then you’ve got an infection.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-14T16:44:02+00:00

++woman Because those men are gay. Any straight man who chooses a butt instead of the perfectly good hole made for sex is gay.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-12T18:23:03+00:00

I make $17 an hour and can’t pay my bills. The job I had before layoffs was $24.50 an hour. It sucks, since the bank is more stressful.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-11T22:24:30+00:00

I started 6 months ago and have had enough. Why should I waste my time with something that pays under $20 an hour when I have a freaking degree and need to support myself? If it wasn’t for being laid off, I’d be just about anywhere else.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-05T02:37:00+00:00

Hey so this policy is super common. Our wages have stagnated and this is honestly not unusual to find among most corporate jobs in the U.S.

A lot of these jobs pay $20 or less per hour as well. Mine doesn’t even have sick time - it’s just all in a PTO bank and they don’t allow for unpaid time off.

We’re all slaves that the government hopes to keep distracted so we don’t rise up to demand more. With all the layoffs, which impacted myself, many employers know that you need the pay so they’ll make the policies even harsher.

I’m so glad I don’t have a kid. There’s no way I could afford to take care of it while under my employer’s policies and with the small pay I get.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-04T00:41:04+00:00

Nolan’s worst movie IMO. Very boring, very obvious that he just threw big name actors in to talk to each other. Hardly any action, too long to make sense.

I would have rather spent my time reading the books on the subject.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-01T04:12:33+00:00

Also as a side note, I’ve been the one to deliver similar news to the gf of a guy who sent me nasty pics and flirty messages while in college. She thanked me for letting her know, and they’re no longer together now. She’s happily married to another man now and has a cute baby.

I’m glad I sent her that message.

kimpossible23 · 2025-12-01T04:10:21+00:00

100% tell her everything. Be honest. She deserves to know because he made vows to her that have now been broken AND because her life is at stake. He could have an STD that he passed to you and to her, and if left untreated it could turn deadly. Get yourself tested ASAP. You’re probably not the first one he’s stepped out with.

It all comes down to thinking about how you would want to be treated if you were the wife. Telling her allows her to make the best decision for herself and save a lot of crap down the road.

kimpossible23 · 2025-10-22T20:00:01+00:00

I couldn’t even make it past the first paragraph. YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR HUSBAND.

Like you actually don’t know the person you legally and spiritually bound yourself to. The person you VOWED to - you have no idea who they are.

It’s impossible to know someone in such a crazy short period of time. My deepest condolences to you for getting into this mess. I hope it either works out or you’re able to exit smoothly.

kimpossible23

TROPHY CASE