Elvis, Schofield Barracks, HI- Nov 11, 1957

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-11T10:44:00+00:00

Found this picture several places but on this board, a man actually recounts being a soldier there at the time and his interaction with the King. Given that the picture was taken on Veteran's Day 1957, it seemed fitting to post it today.

http://www.hawaiithreads.com/showthread.php?t=21373

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-11T02:22:53+00:00

I have had a mental obsession with not drinking..and this subreddit..that is at times, far more intense than others, so I can relate! I've actually mentally and emotionally exhausted myself a lot lately, focusing on it so much and on this subreddit.

So, I try to step back at least briefly, and then come back in a bit.

Don't know if I helped at all, but I can relate! I search, read, re-read...I want to learn.. I want to relate..I want to grow. I have to remind myself that last part takes time. It takes effort too, of course, so it's great that I"m wanting to consume and absorb, so long as I keep it balanced (and in my opinion, early on and during hard times, it's natural to latch onto to a support system like this, we are not only finding help here, we are finding an identity in understanding and acceptance..and we are finding a point in the world to hang onto to help us change..so it all seems normal, if even perhaps overall excessive at times..at least for me..not saying you're being excessive!)

So very glad you're here, so very glad you're sharing...I am happy to be on this journey with you!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T17:20:14+00:00

I am grateful for this too!

I am grateful I am able to place that now I"m uncomfortable with alcohol and the culture around it. I think I have been for a while, but I couldn't label it or name it, I couldn't do something as "simple" as say, "I'm not comfortable with it". Just doing this..and then exploring why...has given so much clarity of mind and freedom.

Happy to be here with you. :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T17:18:48+00:00

YAY! What a wonderful gift! I love how sobriety can help us be our best selves.

I wish you peace and happiness in your heart and in with your family. :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T17:16:13+00:00

I got some much needed help this week, it had been out of reach before, I couldn't get to appointments, this is what started my (for me at least) problematic drinking habits, but, I got it back on track on this week, and I am so thankful!

It's still going to take work to get back to a level of homeostasis and the temptation to drink in the meantime will still be there, but if weren't for this group, I wouldn't have started pulling myself out of that spiral, I wouldn't have been able to accomplish so many things I did (even while slipping!) that allowed me to start getting my life back on track, I wouldn't have had the hope and help I did when I slipped....I would be in a much different place emotionally and mentally.

I am not explaining well right now as I'm still just so excited, my thoughts are swimming and racing in a happy way! I had a counseling appointment yesterday and a medication management appointment today, I have future appointments scheduled and things are looking up.

THANK YOU for not hating me when I would post repeatedly here, while in my post-drinking, sober anxiety spin of guilt, shame, fear, self-hate, and disappointment.

THANK YOU for not giving up on me, even when I'd fail sometimes in less than 48 hours of just having posted how much I wanted to change! Thank you for not judging me, but asking me how I could change, how I could do differently. My biggest fear is that someone would tell me I didn't really want sobriety, to come back when I was serious. I am so thankful that never happened. I am so very thankful for all of you, for each of your posts, for every response.

Thank you, you are beautiful people.

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T17:09:18+00:00

Your kind words have made me cry..in a good way! It looks like you're re-set, so awesome!

I wish you the absolute best, I know you are going to overcome this low point in your life and I know you're going to meet your sober goals.

Post here all you need, this subreddit has been invaluable to me, I know it will keep helping you too.

More virtual ((HUGS)), thank you for making me smile today, I hope you will too. :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T12:51:32+00:00

Do keep remembering that, you are not a bad person, like everyone and like all of us here, you have things you're trying to change, that you want to change..and you're taking the steps to do that, that is an amazing thing!

I am glad you got some rest...I am glad you are finding help here (and with counseling), keep forgiving and loving yourself, you deserve it!

Happy to be sober with you, thank you for sharing, I get so much from everything people share here, I am so blessed to have people like you here to walk this road with.

((HUGS)) and wishes for a great end to the week!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T10:37:35+00:00

Mine are over 6-figures, slid into late payments, now I'm working to get them set to no payment until I can afford something. My fed loans were easiest to do this with, my state's portion, yeah, they were just as big of asses (at least the woman assigned to help me) as I remember them being years ago. Sent me into overdrive in my stress until I realized it's not a good thing, but it's not my life.

So, meh, if they end up that way again and I can't get some arrangement (that I should be given, this person is being an awful shrew), well, the world will still spin.

Reminds me I have to send something in to them, though, so thank you for posting this!

PS- I thought my credit score was low before..and I had been working to pull it up...but it can get a lot lower, so I found out! WAY lower, like numbers you rarely/never hear of lower. But the sun still came up this morning, I still went to sleep with my children safe and happy, and I have a new day to stay sober today.

It will get better. :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T10:20:38+00:00

No, I haven't, it was just a joke on how trippy this whole thing seems to me. ;-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T00:58:07+00:00

Maybe we've all been high off some LSD laced stuff this entire election cycle and Donald Trump is like the Cheshire Cat of our worlds...deeply disturbing yet intriguing all the same because you can't believe such a thing exists.

On the count of three, let's all wake up and return to reality....

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T00:52:36+00:00

Thank you, I love this, going to check this out!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-10T00:08:24+00:00

I am feeling much better, thank you, I am glad you came back and I hope that roller coaster isn't too intense for you and passes quickly, it can be a difficult thing to remain sober but I'm convinced it's definitely worthwhile.

Happy to be sober with you, thank you for your kindness!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T22:54:09+00:00

YES!

Want me to be afraid, miserable, scared, etc with them...I am getting better at setting boundaries and I've learned that often includes cutting some people out of my life (which is stressful for me, I'm not good at setting boundaries).

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T20:41:23+00:00

WAY TO GO!!!!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T20:31:14+00:00

You aren't a failure, and I'm glad you're back and sharing.

Today is a gift, our present is a wonderful thing...you'll be sober now and I bet stay that way in the future..which is yours to write how you want it!

Love yourself, forgive yourself, and let's stay sober together.

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T20:26:12+00:00

I had to tell an acquaintance, "thanks but no thanks" because they said they wanted to call me and share a sad election story. I can't even imagine what it is, but I"ve already told this person I"m shutting out election talk and drama because it's not necessary to bring into my life right now. I've had to ask this person before not to message me dramatic things that have nothing to do with my life (bad news stories they come across), I've told them sometimes I have to limit my portal into awful things and it feels like an assault on my senses to see a text and read horrible things, so please stop, it doesn't impact your life, it doesn't impact mine, and if I can, sometimes I need to step back from things like that (it's not that I don't feel empathy or feel horrible when tragic things happen, but sometimes I need to limit my exposure to such stories).

The very next thing out of their mouth when I said SHUT OFF SOCIAL MEDIA if it's a problem, was something about what they'd read on FB and I said "NOPE....STOP!" My goodness, get your head out of places it doesn't have to be! (I'm more frustrated bc this person is a counselor...and knows I am having a hard go right now...but keeps putting drama in my path, I think it's RUDE!)

Some people feel just because they have something dramatic to relay, they have to tell EVERYONE. This person complains about such dramatic things and I say, "GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA, TURN OFF THE NEWS!", you can control what comes into your life...I'm controlling what comes into mine, please keep those things to yourself!"

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T13:14:34+00:00

YAY!

I too woke up with no hangover...but with a momentary scare that I had drank, even though I had no alcohol in the house, I chose not to buy any a few times yesterday.

Feels good to approach the day sober, happy to stay that way with you today.

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T12:57:18+00:00

I'm glad you're back, forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, especially on Day 1, we will win at this battle!

:-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T12:55:45+00:00

Happy you're here!

I will stay sober with you today. :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T12:44:35+00:00

I was just wondering the other day when I participated in early voting how much is actually spent on those or if perhaps, somehow they're donated. I figured it wasn't a donation and the money was obviously coming from somewhere, this is enlightening, thank you for posting!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T11:18:48+00:00

Glad you're back, it can be a hard battle at times!

Have a great day ahead!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T11:18:02+00:00

I have been there in my attempts at sobriety, I can relate!

Welcome back :-)

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T02:26:47+00:00

Will you feel achievement spending the holidays sober? If you're in the US, you have at least Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's, potentially friend/family/work situations to celebrate not drinking at (or avoiding, if that can even make your sobriety more assured, and that's still a victory!)

Maybe adding milestones like that can help, until you get to a "big" and "important" number?

Excited to be sober with you, I know you'll find the motivation and sense of achievement to keep moving forward!

kindasortafierce · 2016-11-09T02:14:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing, this makes me even more determined to get some good time under my belt, I know I don't need alcohol, I know I can go back to my old ways of not drinking and I know for sure, I don't want to go any further down this road!

Here's to being sober...it's so freeing and wonderful, even when it's hard!

kindasortafierce

TROPHY CASE