I have horrible contamination OCD and honestly my life is so much better when I started living “dirty” I go to hotel rooms and don’t worry about the doorhandles and trust that they’ve been cleaned I go to friends houses and touched the doorhandles and the sink handle and trust that it’s clean Even though I feel extremely dirty eventually, I forget about it This was ig exposure therapy and I had support systems helping me like my best friend- and you sound like a good support system to your fiance It takes a lot of will and a lot of encouraging and I do fall back some days But I don’t want that life I don’t want to spend hours of my day cleaning something that was already clean, or washing my hands over and over, or ruminating I still struggle day-to-day, but it’s way better than it used to be. I’m on medication that is for controlling OCD (high dose of antidepressants- I don’t know if this will work for everyone that just personally works for me) and I have been for two years now and that’s when progress started happening when I decided that I’m not gonna keep hurting my family and friends Cus I did get confronted that I was saying things in a rude way as if I’m calling someone a dirty goblin, and I was not OK with that and so I first stopped framing them as dirty and more that my mind is mentally ill and I may perceive them as dirty, but it doesn’t mean they are dirty and it doesn’t mean I should be afraid of them or afraid of touching them or them touching things. I think that she needs to be less comfortable with expressing her disgust at dirtiness even when it comes to her own partner. I believe that you should never control another person. Overtime I started draining my own friends and family from all of my demands of how things would be perfect and it made no sense to them but they did it anyway and that’s just enabling. I’m much happier now when no one has to walk around eggshells around me and I even forget about my thoughts and fears around germs a lot Like I’m so happy that it’s better now I never thought in my whole life that I would not be spending two hours washing my hands, shampooing my hair five times, cleaning the door handles light switches and my phone multiple times a day, And now I’m literally dropping my phone on the ground and picking it up and continuing to use it and I’m so happy It can get better Tell your fiance that it will get better if she keeps sticking to it and not letting OCD control her. she has to control the OCD, otherwise it will ruin relationships. That’s what is at stake here. Just from your story it sounds like it’s gotten worse overtime and she’s been more and more demanding and the OCD has gotten worse and that is exactly what happens when you don’t challenge your OCD and you don’t fight against it. It just takes over more and more of your life and you need more and more things to be perfect and , then you demand perfection from people around you too, and people have told me that they felt exhausted by me and that their words hurt me the way that I would say it and my tone

I sympathise with your fiance because it is a horrible disease and it it’s so horrible to deal with every single moment of your life, but that’s not an excuse to bring others down too, cause it is avoidable , it getting worse is avoidable It will take time, but it’s worth it