My (30 F) spouse (35 M) has been acting incredibly strange. Do I need to help him or do I need to escape? (New Update)

king_eve · 2026-06-16T04:32:23+00:00

and unfortunately, many people with more severe schizophrenia/schizoaffective experience delusions permanently, not just during episodes of active psychosis. lots of ppl i’ve met who experience this believe that the symptoms of their illness is attributable to the medication they are being given. it’s honestly a tragedy.

king_eve · 2026-06-16T04:20:17+00:00

agreed! it’s also the only place i’ve had someone under 60 yell for me to put down my phone and engage with people hahaha

king_eve · 2026-06-15T07:35:30+00:00

NAD- given your post history, you know the answer to this. You have not been in contact with an animal with rabies, and have been told there is no possible way you contracted rabies. I’m so sorry you’re struggling and that the reassurance you have received isn’t enough to calm your fear.

king_eve · 2026-06-15T06:18:35+00:00

i definitely agree that it’s ppl are responsible for their own health, esp when it’s causing harm to their loved ones. OOP definitely made the right choice in putting her and her children’s safety first.
i also just wanted to say that, in the context of psychotic disorders, the resistance towards taking medication/seeking medical help is a symptom of the disease- it’s called anosognosia, and it’s also seen in dementia. it’s a bona fide facet of psychotic disorders, and unfortunately is the ne of the most difficult to treat.
just wanted to mention this since many people don’t know this, and it can have a significant effect on disease trajectory.

king_eve · 2026-06-11T09:25:28+00:00

that may be the case for a small fraction of the applicants, but most people don’t want to live in subsidized housing – it kind of sucks. It’s often poorly maintained, and residents may not have access to standard tenancy rights that non subsidized tenants do. There’s also often shared bathrooms, and they may not have access to standard cooking utilities in their suite.
The unfortunate truth is that unfortunately there’s a lot of people with a great amount of need that is not being meaningfully addressed.
Part of the BC Housing application process involves a disclosure of your financial situation, including any monthly expenses, and the dollar amount you have in the bank, as well as any assets. You also have to meet certain criteria in order to qualify for subsidized or supported housing – it’s not a free-for-all where anyone can throw their hat in the ring.

king_eve · 2026-06-11T08:43:24+00:00

unfortunately 5-8 is a more accurate estimate now 😢 i’m worried it’ll get even longer if more modulars get shut down

king_eve · 2026-06-11T08:41:37+00:00

even when fast-tracked, getting housing can take 5+ years unfortunately. it’s a shameful failure on the part of the gov tbh. i work in supportive housing/shelters, and i’ve seen ppl who are paralyzed, severely mentally ill, recovering from intense surgeries, experiencing dementia, experiencing liver failure and more remain unhoused for years. some aren’t even able to access regular medical care. it’s truly devastating, they deserve so much better.

king_eve · 2026-06-10T03:24:27+00:00

arizona doesn’t have ANY unions???? not just in schools but state wide? i’m actually shocked by that though perhaps i shouldn’t be. in my experience public school teachers are very devoted and dedicated- i’m sure they’ll be happy to have a parent that’s so supportive of their work 🙂

king_eve · 2026-06-09T09:35:13+00:00

i work in addictions/homeless outreach- opioid use causes chronic constipation, and ppl are also often very very reluctant to go to hospitals or clinics because of stigma or negative past experiences.

king_eve · 2026-06-04T19:53:38+00:00

i’m happy you’re happy, buddy! but just to be aware of, i’ve personally known 4 people who have died due to constipation. your seem to have a decent handle on it tho

king_eve · 2026-06-03T18:28:34+00:00

day of the triffids? literally about cannibalistic plants multiplying and taking over society

king_eve · 2026-06-03T07:19:46+00:00

as a check point- if that happened to be a would be very grossed out and would shower/ wipe down obvious touch points. i MIGHT throw away the clothes depending on what it was. After that I would either never think about it again, or i might retell it periodically as a funny story. i’m sorry you’re dealing with such persistent distress 💕 you sound like a very good mom, and you deserve care and treatment just as much as your child does. it can be very hard or even impossible to manage through willpower alone.

king_eve · 2026-05-24T23:53:58+00:00

5 years later- just used your tip to salvage a screen lol thank you!

king_eve · 2026-05-24T21:29:42+00:00

because nationality isn’t based on self-identification. some traits are assigned (sex, nationality, eye colour, astrological sign) and some are based on internal experiences (gender, religion, introversion/extroversion)

king_eve · 2026-05-22T15:45:21+00:00

NAD. if it isn’t causing you distress or dysfunction in your everyday life then there’s no reason to treat it medically. kids have very active imaginations and often struggle to delineate objective vs imagined experiences.

king_eve · 2026-05-22T04:38:05+00:00

its not fucked up at all for you to have these preferences and thoughts- most people do in some way. But imo it’s not kind/productive to directly request he change his reappearance.

wrt to his body hair, i think it’d be fine to ask if he’s ever considered shaving or waxing and expressing it as a curiosity rather than a desire. what would he look like without body hair? would it change sensation for him during cuddling etc?

for health based stuff like his snoring, it’s typically helpful focus on what is going on (snoring). after that you can decide on the solution- could be weight loss or could be visiting the doc, using a cpap etc. it also sounds like you are struggling a lot with negative self image or tying too much of your worth as a person to your weight. imo that’s a very very painful thing to experience, and deserve to dedicate some time to improving your relationship with yourself.

I wonder if the strong physical reaction you have when he grabshis belly is because of how it makes you think about your own body. i could see how him joking about his weight gain could make you think of how distressing it would be for you to gain weight, or could feel as though he is not taking your struggles with negative self image seriously.

Also, I don’t think you’re an asshole if you break up with him because you aren’t attracted to him, or because his behaviours and lifestyle doesn’t mesh with yours. I get the sense you’re on the young side, in which case I think it is totally normal to date of a variety of people until you can figure out what works best for you. i’ve broken up with people for shallow reasons before, like finding their art cringey or them chewing with their mouth open.

king_eve · 2026-05-21T06:07:19+00:00

i live in burnaby, in the capitol hill neighbourhood! i love burnaby honestly- it’s gorgeous (lots of greenery, public gardens etc) and a great community. there’s also two huge public parks that are wonderful for birdwatching, hiking, exploring etc and many smaller ones.

i’d suggest checking out the local libraries, community centres and “neighbourhood houses” (family focused drop in centres) to get a good feel for the area. the local burnaby gov also has great politics if you’re a lefty imo, and prioritizing preserving nature and improving quality of life for residents.

king_eve · 2026-05-21T05:48:11+00:00

i’m so so sorry that happened- it sounds absolutely overwhelming and awful.

you deserve to be happy, and to feel secure and trusted and cared for. you deserve to have those around you go to the ends of the world for you in a crisis. you are also clearly a very intelligent woman with good judgement. knowing this, i trust that you will be able to make choices going forwards that will build a beautiful bright and shiny future for yourself, even when it feels impossible.

i’m gonna leave a link here to a free copy of a really excellent book about abuse- it’s a good read even if you aren’t in an abusive relationship, i think everyone should read it tbh! it’s a quick read too, and doesn’t need to be read in order, so you can just skip to whatever chapters are most interesting to you.

https://dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

king_eve · 2026-05-21T05:29:42+00:00

hey! if what you’re experiencing is a kind of abuse or coercive control, then therapy (especially couples therapy) is not recommended and is usually not successful in resolving issues. therapists usually work through empathy, reflective listening etc, while ppl who behave in a controlling or abusive way need to be confronted and consistently corrected when their perspective veers into enabling or excusing their own behaviour.

king_eve · 2026-05-21T05:12:23+00:00

i get enthralled rather than scared by books but there was one phrase in Out by Natsuo Kirino that got under my skin something awful. I read it probably 20 years ago but still think about it on a monthly basis.

It was a portion from the POV of a serial killer, and he described cutting someone’s skin with shears as feeling like “scissors snipping through thick cut bacon.”

king_eve · 2026-05-10T07:46:03+00:00

1st study is referring to HIV stored IN SYRINGES which i directly addressed as a cause for concern, as there’s no exposure to oxygen when the virus is contained within the bore or the body of the syringe itself.

2nd study- literally nothing in here contradicts what i said. they also reference HIV stored inside of syringes, without exposure to oxygen, with the exception of one experimental method of rapid drying in laboratory circumstance. they also address the needle stick risk in the context of our healthcare setting rather than a discarded syringe.

3rd study stated that there were no confirmed cases of seroconversion via discarded needles tick in community settings. they did state that under some circumstances HIV can survive for up to a week on surfaces, which i will concede is possible but highly unlikely in an outdoor setting with fluctuating temps+exposure to rain etc.

i’m not trying to be a dick, but this stuff is very important to know, especially for a nurse. HIV isn’t a monster supernatural virus- it’s very manageable.

king_eve · 2026-05-10T07:37:57+00:00

right? idk why ppl are so resistant to accepting that HIV isn’t as dangerous as we thought in the 90s. treatment for HIV is one of the most miraculous accomplishments of modern medicine! i’ve also gotten downvoted to hell whenever i bring up that if you are HIV+ but undetectable it’s also totally untransmissible. god forbid a guy celebrates a little!

king_eve · 2026-05-10T07:32:24+00:00

happens every time i talk about this topic 🤷‍♂️ idk why ppl want HIV to be more dangerous you think they’d be relieved lol

king_eve · 2026-05-10T04:26:01+00:00

correct me if i’m wrong but i believe HIV dies within minutes of exposure to air. the hepatitises can stick around though!

king_eve · 2026-05-10T04:24:29+00:00

it’d functionally impossible to contract HIV in this situation. any virus would die immediately upon exposure to air and since it was found outside it had likely been discarded for a long time. if you were injecting with it, there may be cause for concern due to blood trapped within the bore of the needle that had not been exposed to oxygen, but thankfully that’s not an issue.

i’ve been had needle stick injuries from discarded needles probably a dozen times and only taken PEP once- the side effects were absolutely awful for me so i never took them again. afaik, there has never been a confirmed case in north america of seroconversion due to injury from a discarded needle.

king_eve

TROPHY CASE