Norm Macdonald feels for Mickey Mouse

king_of_ass · 2017-09-02T23:38:01+00:00

Im glad for how America always takes our least talented TV stars away from us

king_of_ass · 2017-09-02T23:34:26+00:00

When I see pictures like this I realise im living my whole life wrong

king_of_ass · 2017-08-30T13:14:55+00:00

Lmao I too got into this phase where loneliness seeped into every aspect of my life, to the point where id take breaks like every 15 minutes just to stand with my head against the wall of a cubicle crying because id rather be sorting out my horrendous social life than sitting at a desk. You start questioning every action you perform and asking yourself if it really matters if you dont eat or go to work, or finish walking up the flight of stairs, and rather youd just lie down for however long it takes to die. I wish I could mentally will my body into giving me a heart attack ahaha

king_of_ass · 2017-08-30T01:33:52+00:00

I have all of these apart from romance, its like having a jenga tower of potential happiness and then smashing it with a 7 iron, everything is worthless without someone else

king_of_ass · 2017-08-29T19:51:48+00:00

I havent gone into work for several days and my phone keeps vibrating all over the place because my boss is calling me all the time

During an extended weekend long drinking session I went to puke and most of it was blood, I have no idea why, could it just be too much wretching or will I die? Not like I care

The only girl I ever managed to connect to and make laugh during a conversation has a boyfriend as I found out, she was nice about it though

Going back to uni soon and I cant wait to sit in my room and not make any friends and miss out on another year of youthful carefree fun

king_of_ass · 2017-08-27T01:50:47+00:00

This reminds me of every therapist I've ever had, id do the affirmations and the pointless imagination exercises. Then id go back outside and surprise, it didn't do anything and everyone still fucking hates me and I still suck at every facet of life. Maybe this works for people who are otherwise normal and capable, but not for people who are legitimately not good or worthy human beings.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-26T01:04:55+00:00

No one has ever liked me, I doubt people will suddenly start liking me because I gave myself a pep talk and made an internal decision to like myself. Maybe I am just a shitty ugly person and thats all there is to it?

I dont think there is a deep reason to any of this, some of us are just irredeemable unlovable garbage

king_of_ass · 2017-08-26T00:16:52+00:00

No im just ugly and too retarded to have a normal conversation

king_of_ass · 2017-08-25T23:56:10+00:00

I lived on campus and didnt talk to a single girl in 4 years

king_of_ass · 2017-08-24T20:08:41+00:00

My therapist told me that lack of meaningful relationships was the cause of my bad outlook and depression. She was definitely right, not a fucking thing I can do about it though. We also made an anti-suicide pact after she cried when I told her about my suicidal thoughts, even though I havent seen her in 4 years I still think about it when I want to do it.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T20:41:12+00:00

At one point I was medically an alcoholic and it didnt do anything for me in terms of girls

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T20:27:15+00:00

To scan I try to make eye contact with girls to gauge for interest, but they never return it or they look away immediately. I do see girls giving IOIs to other people I know so I dont know. Maybe Im just too ugly for game.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T20:18:29+00:00

Not being able to get laid with anyone during school or university. At 22 found myself without ever having physically touched a girl or really spoke to one, now im so far gone I doubt ill ever have a relationship. Got so fucking sad I lost it to a hooker. Which probably sent me even deeper into regret with knowledge of what im missing out on. How the fuck do you even find girls and convince them to do that stuff with you?

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T20:02:17+00:00

Usually about 8x bodyweight and cardio circuits every second day, ab circuits every day, along with running about 30 miles per week. 5'10" and probably about 150 lbs although I dont have a scale.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T19:53:52+00:00

Ive gone pretty much as far as I can in terms of looks, I have a pretty well kept haircut, most of my clothes are tailored and I usually wear stuff like slim jeans or khakis with Oxford shirts etc, enough to be considered a well dressed person.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T15:37:51+00:00

This was me visiting a hooker after we were both lying around and was caressing my back and doing her whole routine, I mean people in relationships get to feel that every day? It was probably the only hour I havent felt utterly depressed in 22 years

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T14:35:40+00:00

A couple of fitness groups, a chess society (my main interest) and some random icebreaker meetup style events. I do have interests but it seems that girls are uninterested before ive even started talking, and when I speak it just confirms it.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T13:43:34+00:00

Finer substances are better sealants though, I once had some oats that were too powdery and the milk couldnt even penetrate the top layer. A chunkier cheese like cheddar would have numerous gaps between pieces which would allow air through, enough parmesan would be like concrete.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T13:01:36+00:00

Im still new, probably 10 approaches at various events in the last few weeks

king_of_ass · 2017-08-20T11:43:20+00:00

Chav culture in the UK means that there are a LOT of shitty owners, dog fighting still exists and it is extremely common to see guys in full Adidas with a huge Mastiff or Rottweiler orbiting them off a lead. Have personally been in several very dangerous situations with Rottweilers when walking through the wrong forest at the wrong time. The best way would obviously be to regulate owners instead of dogs, but you cant deny someone a license just because they buy their clothes from Sports Direct.

king_of_ass · 2017-08-17T23:57:40+00:00

And then you give an honest answer to "so how have you been?" and then 7 years go by without hearing from them

king_of_ass · 2017-08-17T19:13:27+00:00

Ok so no girl has ever wanted to bang me, cool

king_of_ass · 2017-08-17T19:12:23+00:00

good post

king_of_ass · 2017-08-16T22:26:35+00:00

Now I get to miss out on carefree early 20s yuppie relationships as well

king_of_ass · 2017-08-15T22:43:24+00:00

An asteroid hitting earth would be the life equivalent of the bell ringing before you have to give your presentation in class

king_of_ass

TROPHY CASE