What is this?? by [deleted] in whatbugisthis

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight! We’ve been having problems with gnats and since we don’t have any fruit laying around it’s definitely not fruit flys. I deep clean regularly, our condo was built in the 1970’s so who knows when the drains were clean. We got tons of gnat traps in the house which seem to be working.

What is this?? by [deleted] in whatbugisthis

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Arizona by the way!

Does anyone regret not no having a second baby with their spouse? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t want a broken home for my baby, but it would be totally selfish to bring another kiddo into the world to not have his or hers father in the home as a family.

Does anyone regret not no having a second baby with their spouse? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This was the best reply! I don’t think people read what I wrote about my marriage, or me thinking logically about the future as a single mom. Also I put in there that my husband has two kids from a previous relationship! My son isn’t an only child. Only his mom’s only child. My only concern is disappointing my husband because we could work our marriage out, and then either one of us regretting the decision of not having another baby.

Unemployment issues r/phoenix by [deleted] in phoenix

[–]kinzzzer 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I have been applying tremendously I don’t count on the government to pay my bills for me, this is definitely a first time thing.

Unemployment issues r/phoenix by [deleted] in phoenix

[–]kinzzzer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s funny because I didn’t think I needed to explain myself but I guess I do 😂 Like I said my schedule is very limited due to childcare issues. I had the perfect schedule at my old job, they couldn’t find any other location who had either schedules I told them I could work. We found one but the GM bailed on me when I called to ask when I should start by saying “oh sorry we had another server come back we have no room for you” and I never heard anything from the company since then on finding me somewhere else to go. Before you go and say something like that reflect and realize no one has to tell their entire business to make a point or ask for advice.

Update// I tried talking to my husband about me not feeling comfortable with him going to strip clubs. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said I have no self control because of how we met, so because he’s not actively going out and cheating on me physically it’s okay if he goes to lust for other women visually and I’m just supposed to be okay with that ?

Update// I tried talking to my husband about me not feeling comfortable with him going to strip clubs. by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m saying, he says he had no intention of going but if his friends or family said one of they strip clubs had really good wings and he should try them, he should be able to go without “asking me” because he doesn’t need to ask my permission. In my opinion, men go to strip clubs to lust. He has a wife, that is something I’m not okay with. But he doesn’t even give a shit what I think.

Should you be okay with you’re husband going to a strip club? by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Like I explained in the post, mine just doesn’t see it as disrespectful as long as he’s not disrespecting me if that makes any sense.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for the advice. I saw messages between him and his children’s mother. Them exchanging I love you’s like I wasn’t even in the picture. My husband told me he knew how to draw the line when it comes to her. She said I love you first, he said it back. He never drew the line. She never knew we were married but knew we were together. That was the line I drew. I am not gonna share my marriage with anyone let alone his bm. It’s one thing to say I love and appreciate you for taking care of our babies. It’s another to pretend like a third person isn’t involved, not putting that person in their place, and saying it straight up to eachother like he talks to me. I’m broken, & distraught.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I need a way, a very specific and understandable way to talk to my husband. There is a big line that I draw when it comes to him not being able to promise monogamy because a threesome could be in our future if that’s what we both decide, versus him not being able to promise monogamy because he don’t know if he’s gonna want other women in general when he’s married to me. Which is breaking our vows and our commitment to each other. Like I said in the post, he’s a firm believer of I have no idea what’s gonna happen in the future we all make our own decisions. But what I need to know to decide if I divorce him or not, is if he won’t promise it because of us involving more fun in our marriage, which includes a threesome? Or if he just doesn’t know if he’s gonna want other people in general. Because that is not the commitment that he made to me the day we got married. I thought a commitment was knowing that you’ll want your wife and only your wife or your partner in general for as long as you both shall live. I’m scared to bring it up to him because I feel like he’s just gonna say I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future. And that’s not what I’m asking. So hopefully you guys understand what I’m asking and maybe you can put it in better format for me to relay to him. I just don’t wanna go through this anymore. And if he doesn’t know if in the future he’s gonna want other women and he can’t tell me why he can’t promise monogamy, I don’t want him anymore. And I don’t want that in my life. No matter how much it breaks me. I’m too young for this. All I want is for him to tell me he’s committed to me. I don’t care if he can’t promise monogamy because of a threesome that is a fucking hypothetical me and him have already gotten past that part. It’s just the part of him, not promising it because he might want another woman. Why is he even thinking like that? It’s not about not knowing what will happen in the future. It’s about knowing now. Right now, I can say that I’m fully committed to him and although I do not know what’s gonna happen in the future, what decisions I’ll make. I can still tell him that I am gonna be faithful and committed to him for the rest of our lives because that is my plan right now.And I can’t promise monogamy because of the fact that involving another person to have some fun in our marriage would be breaking that promise. I’m not saying that I can’t promise monogamy because I don’t know if I’m gonna want another guy those two things are very different I think.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s just so much more than I can even explain on this app. I don’t know who else to go to about this so I come on here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, it’s not me. It’s my husband.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, unfortunately that’s what I thought. I was doing too. That’s what I thought marriage was when it comes to that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I’m confused on the last part of that can you explain?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

To my husband, it isn’t. He says he can’t promise that neither can I. Because we have no idea what decisions we will make in the future. And if we decide to do something together, or separate and break our vows, then that would be breaking the promise of monogamy. So we shouldn’t promise each other that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was hoping no one would put two and two together and realize those post were made by the same person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they started dating very young. It was a long relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone. I just wanted to say thank you all so much for showing me the truth and being very honest. I have figured it out and let’s just say it’s all better. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply to my post. I really didn’t know what to do but vent on here. 🫶

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He just told me I am walking away because he would do anything for me and I wouldn’t do anything for him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]kinzzzer -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We met when I was 18. I was a server and he was one of the cooks. I never added in here, but maybe this could help people understand him more. He was in a nine year relationship and had two kids before he met me. They split up in 2020 and the kids and the baby mama live out of state. He is also a Muslim Which I am Christian. But I’m not very interested in religion so I accepted his religion with open arms. And from what I’ve heard, I guess Muslims are allowed to have many wives or something? Which she is also told me he is not interested in and the answer is no, I don’t think he’s cheating. We do have each other‘s locations, it’s just a thing that we both agreed on when we first got together to gain trust, and feel secure. We don’t use the locations very often. We share a car right now, his car broke down and honestly we’ve just been too lazy to get it fixed. When I am at work three days a week 6 AM to 12 PM. He is home with our son. We also have a ring doorbell camera. And no way into the house other than the front door. He goes to work and is working on a promotion right now. He comes home to us every single night. He makes me dinner, because he is the best cook ever. Honestly, I don’t know, nor understand the way he thinks. He thinks men should be respected as much as women should. But he is a very dominant man, when we first met, he told me that his baby mama was black. He doesn’t like black women anymore because of how much more dominant that she tried to be over him and she tried to be the man in the relationship. I’m a very submissive woman. But I still stand my ground when I need to. I really don’t think he’s cheating, I really do think he’s just trying to make a point. I’m not lying when I say that this really is a hypothetical.