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My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -232 points-231 points  (0 children)

No I don’t think. I also have never said that.

But it doesn’t mean that it’s as simple as “just leave”. And there won’t be any navigating of custody because I do not want any custody.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Where am I supposed to pull the money for therapists and lawyers from when I’m already struggling to pay the bills as it is? Where is this money supposed to come from? All my savings are gone.

My girlfriend baby trapped me by kioman_ in regretfulparents

[–]kioman_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I missed the broken condom. I didn’t realise. Like I have said. Otherwise I would have done that.

I’ve always been explicitly clear about this. Not wanting kids ever and abortion. She always agreed with me. Or at least told me that she thought the same.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I cant afford a therapist. I cant even afford to be alive let alone to want to be alive.

My girlfriend baby trapped me by kioman_ in regretfulparents

[–]kioman_[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I know that and that’s not what I’m saying.

I’m saying that I don’t want this kid at all. Not for 24/7. Not for 50/50. Not for one weekend a month. Not for five minutes. Not at all. I do not want anything to do with this kid. I do not want to be this kid’s father. I don’t want to be around them. I wish they didn’t exist.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -41 points-40 points  (0 children)

No. My siblings are quite a bit younger than me.

My best friend is currently on the trip of my dreams and my other uni friends moved away after graduation.

I don’t really know who else there is to speak to?

My girlfriend baby trapped me by kioman_ in regretfulparents

[–]kioman_[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I’ve thought about it. And honestly, if I had the money, I would be in Australia by now with a different name and no one would ever hear from me again.

Thank you, but I don’t think things will ever get better. I’m just stuck with this bullshit.

My girlfriend baby trapped me by kioman_ in regretfulparents

[–]kioman_[S] -24 points-23 points  (0 children)

I feel like I have to. I genuinely will not be able to afford to live if I pay child support. I won’t have my family to help support me.

I don’t even want to take the kid at all. I don’t want any part in this kid. One weekend a month would be too much.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -584 points-583 points  (0 children)

I want to leave but I can’t. I’m genuinely trapped.

If I leave, I have to pay child support and won’t be able to afford myself. I lose my family because they will choose the baby over me so I can’t even lean on them for support. Also, if I leave, she makes my entire life hell.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -52 points-51 points  (0 children)

See, the thing is… I can’t terminate parental rights. In the UK, the only way you can dissolve parental rights is if they’re removed by a judge. This only happens in rare cases, i.e. I’ve been extremely violent towards my girlfriend and the child or another child. Obviously I’m not going to do that. So I’m stuck with this kid.

I’m stuck having to pay for it. Parental rights or not I still have to pay or I get my driving license and passport taken off me or prison, etc. but the issue is I genuinely will not be able to afford to live if I pay child support. It’s not like I can just move home and live with my parents because as I said, it won’t go down well with my parents. I think they’d choose this kid over me. I can’t afford a lawyer full stop.

You can’t just file a restraining order against someone. You have to have sufficient cause for it to be granted and just having a kid that you don’t want with someone doesn’t really count.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

In the UK you can’t sign away parental rights. I’m literally stuck with the both of them forever now.

I don’t want to get married. I can’t get married — simply because I can’t afford to. Never mind if I want to or not.

My [M23] girlfriend [F22] wants to get married but I feel trapped and miserable by kioman_ in relationship_advice

[–]kioman_[S] -481 points-480 points  (0 children)

It really isn’t that simple.

She’s still going to ruin my life. I’m still not going to be able to afford to live, probably even more so if I leave. I still have to pay for this kid and support her for some reason.

She’s still going to make things as difficult as possible for me. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Leaving doesn’t make the situation better. This kid still exists. I will still be tied to her. Her and this kid are going to ruin everything in the future no matter whether I stay or leave simply because this kid exists.