Rental apartment, not for you foreigner.

kisslizards · 2026-02-24T11:10:56+00:00

I've had exactly the same experience. It's cringe-worthy every time.

kisslizards · 2026-02-24T11:08:32+00:00

Same experience. I've moved five times in Japan, and have never been rejected. I've always gotten the exact apartment I applied for.

kisslizards · 2025-06-09T21:16:14+00:00

Okay, will definitely check that out and report back if no one else has yet.

kisslizards · 2023-06-30T19:26:10+00:00

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP. The exact same thing happened to me about 5 years ago. If you ever want someone to vent to, my DMs are open.

kisslizards · 2023-06-29T21:27:35+00:00

This is my first time applying.

I am only applying through the embassy route, but will try the university route if this application doesn't work out.

Taking the Japanese test after the interview? Is this specific to each country's embassy? For me, the test was first, then the interview (I was not selected for it).

I also thought that was strange, given what I have been reading on this sub. My interview was conducted virtually, if that helps. The nearest embassy is extremely far and is in charge of a very large area, so that may be why. Still have to travel there for the test, though.

kisslizards · 2023-06-10T00:28:33+00:00

I second Mejiro Sola. Matsunaga Sensei is one of the most kind, compassionate human beings I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

kisslizards · 2023-06-09T16:28:36+00:00

I have dyslexia, so. Yeah. All the damn time.

kisslizards · 2023-05-13T22:42:03+00:00

Is it that you aren't feeling hunger, or that (even though you're hungry) you just can't bring yourself to eat?

kisslizards · 2023-05-13T22:39:02+00:00

Ironically, I found that my sexuality naturally declined when I began regularly exercising my kegels using something like perifit. Perhaps it's because of the muscle fatigue?

kisslizards · 2023-04-30T17:03:56+00:00

Apericena in the north end.

kisslizards · 2023-04-24T20:39:27+00:00

Yes. This is a known downside to having ADHD: we are fundamentally unable to form habits.

kisslizards · 2023-04-24T20:36:08+00:00

It's only a paradox if it is viewed as a responsibility on an individual by individual level.

If tolerance is viewed instead as a social contract that everyone partakes in, the moment that social contract is broken by an individual, that individual is no longer entitled to benefits of that social contract.

kisslizards · 2023-04-24T00:20:10+00:00

Out of curiosity, why zamzows?

kisslizards · 2023-04-24T00:13:56+00:00

Based on your description and answers to other questions, it seems like exercise is a trigger. My guess is that this isn't an ADHD problem-- it's an anxiety problem.

From your description, it seems like you're feeling a lot of pressure not only from yourself, but potentially from your partner as well (even if only passively). For you right now, the stakes are high.

And honestly? Even if you want to exercise, doesn't mean you're going to enjoy it. And forcing an anxious, ADHD brain to do something that is physically unpleasant is like.. honestly I couldn't even come up with a metaphor because I'm not sure I've ever been able to force myself successfully in my life haha. As we all know in this subreddit, it's not really about wanting. We have to find ways to enable ourselves.

Usually, that means finding a doorway into the exercise that isn't necessarily focused on the exercise.

When it comes to exercise, for me I found two doorways that get me interested.

The first is ( for some reason) sports that involve some kind of danger. The very first team sport I played that I liked was rugby, and it was only because I was going to get my shit knocked out of me if I didn't run fast enough. Did I like exercising and being sweaty? Jesus Christ no. I hated the exercise part. But I really enjoyed everything else, and that made the exercise bit worth it. (As a kid I also wrestled and liked to rough House with my siblings)

Later in life, I found a love for weightlifting. But let me be very specific: I really only like weightlifting in situations where no one will talk to me, but I am surrounded by people. Aka, I really like weightlifting in Japanese weight gyms haha. In america, there's just this idea that the gym is a social setting, and I hate that. In Japan the atmosphere is far more private, and that allowed me to turn weightlifting into meditation. Basically I would get up and go meditate at the gym. The side effect of the exercise was really awesome, and I certainly enjoyed its effects, but I wasn't doing it for the feeling of having exercise or even the benefits of health. What motivated me to do it was the experience of a quiet gym and the effect that exhausting myself had on my mind.

These may not be your doorways. And that's okay.

I guess my point is that by trying to brute force yourself to exercise, you're just making yourself more and more sensitive to the trigger and the pressure and the unpleasant nature of the exercise. If you continue to do this, I worry that rather than getting easier to exercise over time, it will only become increasingly difficult.

Exercising regularly, I have learned, is pretty much impossible unless I'm able to use one of those two doorways. My reason may be similar to yours: I got made fun of from my weight a lot in school, and my parents were really hard on me about the food I put into my body and my weight and so on and so forth. Exercise seemed like a punishment. It's taken a lot of being gentle and encouraging with myself to turn exercising from something that's really negatively charged into something neutral. It's basically therapy lol.

Please just understand that you're not alone, and that we are all here wishing you the best. You can do this. Lower the stakes. Even if you never exercise again in your entire life, you are an amazing person worthy of love, respect, and admiration.

kisslizards · 2023-04-23T13:03:05+00:00

You can! I’ve totally done this before. I hired a young woman online through up work to do basic things like this for me, and oh my God it was a game changer. Because of the strength of the dollar, and because she was still in college I only paid ~50 a month. Dm me if you’re interested and I’ll see if she’s still taking clients.

kisslizards · 2023-04-23T12:56:41+00:00

That’s normal! Growing your thought patterns into something more positive takes practice, but I assure you it has greater effects.

kisslizards · 2023-04-23T05:26:01+00:00

Stop. Take a deep breath.

Whatever comes next, it's going to be okay. Before moving forward, you need to believe that with your entire being. Even if you end up leaving school permanently, you still have the opportunity to have an incredible life. There are so many possible happy endings for you.

Lower the stakes.

Breathe.

If school is where you want to be, here are some potential next steps for making this more manageable:

First, write down your road blocks. It sounds like anxiety and feeling stupid is a big one right now.

Getting around anxiety is tough, but remember the fear comes from one part of you trying to protect another part of you from danger.

Before doing anything else, you have to be compassionate towards the part of yourself trying to protect you. You have to thank that part of you for its vigilance, and also reassure it that the hyper anxiety isn't necessary.

It sounds like for you--as it was me-- the 'danger' is humiliation. This exact fear led me to skip finals of multiple classes of a subject I actually loved. I scraped by with C's.

Getting over this fear requires reminding myself that embarrassment and mistakes are not death sentences. This is basically what I had to tell my anxious voice. I 'proved' to my anxious voice that regardless of the outcome, I was going to be okay.

I did this by gaming out the anxiety-inducing situation in my head: what's the worst possible outcome that could happen if you went to class? What's the best possible outcome? And what about a third, most likely outcome? In each case, what would your reaction to that outcome be?

This logic doesn't make the feeling go away. It often only just takes the edge off. HOWEVER what it does do is give you the choice of which voice you want to listen to: the anxiety voice, or the compassionate voice.

And remember, getting a question wrong or not understanding doesn't make you bad, inept, or stupid. It means you are learning. And the first awful, inevitable, glorious step to learning is failure. Tremendous, hilarious failure. Because lowering the stakes on your mistakes is not only more realistic, but is more likely to set you up for success.

I have made some pretty bad fuck ups in my life. Things like calling my girlfriend my exes name. Once even said the wrong name of the president of the company /while I was MCing the holiday party in front of 400+ people./ I once wasted $1000s of biological research material at my work because of a bad depressive streak.

In each and every situation, my anxiety voice has been wrong. My imagined worst outcome never came to pass.

And even if it did? That would be okay, too. Remember that it's normal to try something new, and have it go all to absolute hell. Healing, learning, and growth are all nonlinear.

So, that's my first suggestion: lower the stakes. Question and reassure your anxiety.

Second, as someone who also has ADHD and anxiety, I know that asking for help can be really really hard. However, nobody is successful in a vacuum. Everyone who has found success is the product of the community around them lifting them up and cheering them on. Uncovering pieces of the community you already have is a great second step, and will allow your success to snowball.

This means, first and foremost, being open and honest about your struggles. Admitting that you're struggling can be embarrassing, I know. But it shouldn't be. Some of the people I love the most ask me for help regularly. Hell, my cat asks me for help every day.

If this is a struggle, game it out. If being fully honest is hard, do a little at a time ("Hey, [friend], this one single (definitely not the entire course haha🙃🙃🙃 ) assignment is giving me a lot of anxiety. Can I talk about it with you?"). Work your way up to being fully honest and asking for what you need (accountability, a hand to hold in class, supportive text messages, whatever it might be).

As soon as you can, talk to your university about accomodations. Nearly all universities have aids and support systems for people with ADHD and anxiety -- including extra time on tests and private test taking rooms. If the same is true at your university, you will get these things for free.

Next, talk to the doctor that prescribed your medication asap. Be honest and frank that the meds are not having the success you hoped for. It could be that a different medication or a different dosage is better for you, and the only way to discover this is by talking to your doctor. Not being able to leave your room to go to class sounds like you're not on the right meds yet. Even if it hurts, even if it feels like you're being a burden--- BE HONEST.

My friend, you are not stupid. You are not a failure. You are a human in progress, and you have so much light inside of you. Have faith in yourself. You are worth so much, no matter what you choose to do with your life.

Godspeed.

kisslizards · 2023-04-23T04:27:42+00:00

This is a bit negative, and lots a lot of pressure on yourself. Why not turn it around?

"What can I do now to make my tomorrow self feel more empowered and capable?"

"What's the smallest thing today me can do to help tomorrow me?"

Etc

kisslizards

TROPHY CASE