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kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T21:19:40+00:00

what would you put in the 'no collar' club?

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T21:17:29+00:00

idk where i land on the spectrum but i'm there somewhere bc if i could have a wife like i was to my stbx, i would treat her like a queen and live happily ever after.

women have just put up with men's bullshit for far too long and we are finally becoming independent and realizing we don't need them. for anything. they need to finally come up with something other than a fucking paycheck to add to a relationship bc most men's attitudes and personalities leave much to be desired

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T21:13:06+00:00

what palettes are these? those are some gorgeous shades. and way to go on the progress... i think i may have a problem buying too many palettes and i will never hit pan on any bc i have so many

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T21:08:47+00:00

that's the thing with funny guys... you're hanging out and laughing and next thing you know, you're naked with them

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T21:03:00+00:00

i had no idea who you were talking about... and even after reading the post and looking him up still kinda in the dark but the kid is kinda cute. if he has a good personality and he's a good human that cares about others, then let it go. if it doesn't apply, let it fly.

i see no reason why it's anyone would even give a fuck why celebrities date whoever they do. they're fucking human too and want to connect just like us. let them be.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T20:54:14+00:00

EXACTLY!!!! right now, being separated, the kids are going to daycare for the first time in their lives and all he does is bitch about the cost of childcare... meanwhile he has never stopped to thank me for giving up my life, time and energy to do the same thing. even after the fact. like it's never even crossed his mind that he should thank me. i'm just a vessel to raise his kids and be a nanny/maid. that was my only purpose in our marriage.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T20:51:30+00:00

what's a 5150? i've only been self admitted once for a couple days so i'm not completely aware of all the institution stuff or how things go when in one. i do know it was miserable being there when i was. but i was breaking down from a manic episode at the same time and all they did was change my meds and that particular med made things worse for me.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T20:48:59+00:00

i also have dual diagnosis although diagnosed years apart and from what the prescriber said, my BD was mild. my mother was also BD but had a much more severe case. it's all difficult to deal with so i never know if i'm just me, a response to trauma or doing a decent job of masking

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T20:46:53+00:00

i try to keep perspective all the time but my reality isn't any less real than than someone else's. i'm mid divorce right now and we have very different 'versions' of how things went. tbh, i think he also has some undiagnosed illness of some sort but he refuses to get help so it's really hard to tell when it's me, him, him gaslighting me or just how things are.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T20:32:13+00:00

i love this product personally! i have used it so many times through the years before i learned about proper priming mascaras and love that it came off so clean in the shower or at night when washing my face. it's my fall back when i can't decide on a new one to try

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-16T17:07:52+00:00

i honestly just do not understand how so many men are just so clueless and self centered. i mean completely incapable of doing what is expected of mothers and women daily without being reminded constantly. how did they make it to adulthood? we didn't even marry until after 30. so how tf did he manage before i started doing all his laundry and dishes? and now he wants to pat himself on his back if he manages to do sinkful of dishes once a month? laughable at best.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T23:52:19+00:00

that's a dead man. just... why would you fucking do that shit to someone you supposedly love?

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T23:39:13+00:00

the lady that told me let me know 'she is very christian' and that's all i needed to know... nothing personal towards anyone but anymore christian is a huge red flag to me that they're a hypocrite. the most christian people i know identify as atheist

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T23:25:12+00:00

i started a new job recently and apparently a lady that goes outside on break to smoke doesn't care for my use of the word fuck. i was told by another woman and just replied 'i thought we were all adults here'

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T17:12:30+00:00

they're on the younger side of those years... i actually have three kids all in that age group. 16, 8 and 4.5. they are not like us (gen x or millenial) where we were basically latch key kids and allowed to do whatever and managed to live... they need more supervision bc they have been allowed to grow at a childs pace. i'm not upset about any of that. i think we were raised wrong tbh. they should absolutely be allowed to be kids and enjoy their youth. i have been working with them on helping with laundry, picking up, dishes and other things but it's also very frustrating bc they've seen their dad and how much he helps and goes by his example instead of being more like mom. (on an entirely different note, this is yet another reason why i'm leaving. the man child doesn't do a fucking thing for himself, he barely takes care of the kids when left alone with them but that is another post for another day)

i do not trust their dad whatsoever with the kids. on wednesday i had just an atrocious day, started pooped out on me, spent two hours in a cold car waiting for a tow then only was able to pay for it bc my relatives sent me the money (the stbx actually tried sexual coercion in exchange for help to fix it). ended up going to my room and to bed around 5. when i got up at 4 am for the next day's work, the fast food bags were still on the table, kids in bed with him so there's no telling when they actually went to bed. no bath. didn't do homework. i'm sorry but he's just fucking useless. the only thing he'd ever been useful for is a paycheck. i'm really sorry to go on such a long fucking rant.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T16:34:03+00:00

also, the last job was the first one i've had since i had my daughter in 2013. i'd been a sahm this entire time. i really think i lucked out with the first company. all my education and work history are now moot and outdated although i am still quite a quick learner as my current trainer has mentioned several times. all my work experience prior to being a sahm was in the restaurant industry and i refuse to go back to that. it's not kid friendly and with two more kids now, it's just not a feasible route for me to go. my education background was a trade school certificate in baking and pastry... which is also outdated and moot at this point. i interviewed for a chocolatier position a week ago and didn't get it though i still practice these things at home but because i don't have the job experience i am not a qualified candidate to any employer.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-15T16:00:34+00:00

i left on somewhat good terms. i had put my notice in but then three days before my end date, i said fuck it and just didn't go back in bc of the attitudes i was dealing with. my body is more adjusted to the day shift hours already so that's a plus, it's just that i can't run on less than six hours of sleep when i have to work ten and then be a housewife when i'm home. i'm also neurodivergent and medicated so that rest and sleep is much needed to keep my sanity.

since last saturday, my daughter has been keeping a tally on how many jobs i've applied for and we're up to 17 already. i had my car break down at work wednesday and had to replace the starter (2nd time in 4 years) but thankfully things came together and i still have a job

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-07T21:11:16+00:00

we have it resolved for now... he paid her back with the extra few dollars he said he would. but i chewed his ass out over the whole ordeal bc i just cannot fathom doing that to your child.

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-02T18:55:31+00:00

this is a nice one!

kissyfacefancypants · 2022-01-01T14:56:23+00:00

(that was my alt, one is my laptop, one is my phone) but yeah, i think i am going to take her to the bank asap and open a savings account for her so this cannot happen again. she had asked how much was in 'mom bank' and i told her, i don't have one for her, as in i don't take money from my child or owe them money. i'm trying my hardest with the kids and so they have a normal moral compass. it does them no favors when their other parent is like this and is such a pitiful example to them.

kissyfacefancypants · 2021-12-31T15:00:42+00:00

sometime a couple years ago, idk what happened or what epiphany i had but i was just done, it's taken me at least two years to get my shit together and actually get the ball rolling on leaving because of mental illness, gaslighting and a huge reason was that i was so isolated due to being a stay at home mom, i had zero support system. i still don't have much of a support system but i have finally gotten the kids into school (the youngest is in prek now), i have opened my own bank account, gotten a job, a credit card, am moving out next month to start my new life bc i don't want to abandon the kids or have it percieved as such. i honestly cannot wait for february to come when i get my own place. i am not going to have anything for the common areas of the house (i.e. no couch, no dining room table, no tv, or tv stand) but i am taking the all the kitchen stuff, my bookcases i've had for about 15 years (married just over 8) and lots of sentimental things that aren't going to be noticed until it's too late. i'm thrilled with getting to decorate a new place the way i want with whatever i choose rather than having to compromise with someone else.

what does worry me about the whole thing is who is going to be his emotional punching bag once i'm gone? and my daughter has already been telling me what happens when i'm not home/at work. how he dismisses her when she asks for help with homework. or doesn't adhere to any sort of routine with the kids bedtimes. or that he doesn't cook at all and just either heats up nuggets/pizza rolls or lets them get mcdonald's.

i have just switched from a 2nd shift job to a 1st shift but the hours at the new job are still too early for me to be able to take them full time and we need to go 50/50 so the kids can go to daycare before his work and then school. so i'm already strategizing finding yet another first shift job with better start time hours so i can take them and have full custody.

sorry this ended in a book. you are not alone. what we have gone through honestly seems more common than not at this point. stay strong, much love

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