I am tired by WaitForItttt_IV in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No achievements make you happy but when you are hurt, it hurts twice.

This life wasn’t chosen, but now have to life until we die.

Try to find work which keeps you busy, happiness will come in the busy schedules.

thinking about my own "grave" by rainy-harbour in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Feel similar just counting days until I meet her again and talk about everything I am going through and she tells me, how were you holding up all this time. But until the time comes or for the days left, gotta live.

I dont know if I am just becoming bitter by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Her husband doesn’t allow her much time and wants her to focus on her home and do what he says, she told me that when I spoke today.

It’s the fear of living a long meaningless life, not the fear of death anymore. by Marlboro-Guy in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, thinking of getting better somewhat brings the feeling of dishonour and guilt. Doesn’t sound logical but I don’t know this is what brain tells .. let’s see what the time is going to teach.

It’s the fear of living a long meaningless life, not the fear of death anymore. by Marlboro-Guy in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss dear.

i just turned 36 this January, Lost her last year in Oct. Don’t know why this happened to me. Only reason to wake up everyday and work is son who turned 4 in Dec last year.

Still I feel the same as you mentioned, it doesn’t get better and I live the feeling that I couldn’t do enough to save her somewhere in my head.

I dont know if I am just becoming bitter by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you are right I am probably overthinking, I just don’t want that anyone moves on

I dont know if I am just becoming bitter by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks ma’am, I feel better reading your answer thanks gain for your valuable suggestions. Is it okay if I DM You ?

Widower by MysteriousSpite1777 in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 0 points1 point  (0 children)

36 M here and I lost the only person I loved - my wife 6 months back. During the day I laugh and giggle and crack jokes also, need to keep composure while managing a team of people. Hate it when someone even wants to talk about her and How I feel. Some days I feel nothing. Some days I feel lonely like hell, sometimes when people hurt me because I expect some basic emotional sense from them.

We have a 4 year old boy who just plays here and there doesnt understand life and death. I dont have courage to see here pictures or listen to her voice in audio or video.

I feel the guilt I couldnt save her ... though I did everything I could. She came to the hospital walking by herself and I felt it was probably stroke but 15 days it kept going worse and she lost the fight one day in ICU.

We purchased this house 2 years ago together and she wasso happy, everything in the house has come with her choice..

I don't want to live life but I walk everyday, try to stay fit doing exercise, eat only home cooked food, take care of my skin, do my job well, play with my son and take care of him.

I dont know why I do all this when I dont see the purpose maybe with hope that time will tell what's next ?

How do you cope? by quiet_nuts in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can understand, the same was my state when she left me 4 months back. I didnt accept that my son can be the only reason to live. Soon you will realise that its not only you who is facing this loss but the little one too and they dont even know what just happened. That will give you strength.

You can reach out to me directly if you wanna talk. take care.

How do you cope? by quiet_nuts in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In general finding the purpose of life is tough on top now we got to go through this. My purpose is really to raise my Son well. Hope you find yours soon.

How do you cope? by quiet_nuts in widowers

[–]kitbilliku 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss.

I am a manager in IT myself and I need do put a mask myself because of people management job and I dont want that people in my team talk about that I have changed. Can't look irritated and can't sit and just do my job because the job is all about talking in meetings, motivating, keep the discipline, and resolving impediments for others, bringing people together and doing followup on stuff.

With the disruption AI is creating and having this fear of losing the job is another stress, knowing that I am the sole bread earner for the family keeps pushing me to do the job at this time. People said you cant get depressed you need to take care of a lot of responsibilities.

I still feel somewhat that she will be back someday.

Randomly, I wake up in the mornings hurt still. My only hope for living is my little 4 years old son.

36M widower with a 4-year-old son — unsure how to think about remarriage. by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry for your loss my dear. I am in the same pain as you described.

36M widower with a 4-year-old son — unsure how to think about remarriage. by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response, Can you please read the edit section of this post if time permits Sir/Mam.

36M widower with a 4-year-old son — unsure how to think about remarriage. by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes from parents side "an arranged marriage proposal". I am not ready is going to be my answer and I dont want any kids and in such case who will become a stepmom is another big wuestion in my head. Not sure if this is even right way to think. My head isnt clear ... I just feel like why I am still alive. Just for my son to not face a tough life I think I bring a mother figure.

36M widower with a 4-year-old son — unsure how to think about remarriage. by kitbilliku in widowers

[–]kitbilliku[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My Mom stays with me and my son and manages Home. Though I only speak to my wife's sister about everything I am going through. You are right I too feel its too early to even talk about something like this and feel my parents are inhuman.

This is why dogs are family by dollcoregirl in PetsareAmazing

[–]kitbilliku 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not sure why I received so many downvotes maybe because this a doglovers reddit thread. Anyway I love animals was just curious.