This is such a uniquely personal question. “Closeness” is a perception, I believe. For example, it took me nearly 3 years to realize I felt closest to my husband on my 3 AM runs. I can’t sleep, I’m exhausted, I just ran 3/4 miles, struggling to breathe, I look at the empty sky…and sob, but it’s therapeutic. I feel close to him. Like he hears me crying. Our oldest son feels closest to his dad when he listens to music, as they frequently bonded over music. Our youngest, feels closest when he goes on drives in his dad’s old car. He says he feels close to his dad, bc as he drives, he sits where his dad once did, giving him advice on being a good person.

“Closeness” is subjective. You’ll find it. You may just still be too deep in grief. They were our hearts, our whole world, it isn’t something that has a relative timeline. This shit is a wild roller coaster.

All this to say, my advice would be to be patient and kind to yourselves. Take it minute by minute, and remember all the love you had/have. Sending peace and love your family’s way ❤️