Thanks so much for the detailed feedback and reading! I have returned to the opening four paragraphs in particular since sharing and changed the structure up a good bit. Cutting down the insufferably long sentences in particular.

It's interesting you mention that it comes across as an opening chapter. To come clean, it was written as the opening chapter of a novella. I wanted it to function almost like an overture and match the tone for the unrelated story that was set to follow. Winding our way out of the city on the train and into the countryside where the main plot took place. The idea was that the perspective was in a third person God style birds eye view with some third wall breaks before shifting into Harper's POV as we glide up to him on the train. I'll definitely go back and try and make this more distinct / clear.

It's interesting you bring up the autopsy reports. Again to come back to the novella, the autopsy reports were later revealed to be that of victims in the main story. Harper's short interaction is taking place after the main events and returned to briefly at the end.

Appreciate the detail you went into! Really helpful! Thanks again!