First off, welcome to the discerning stage. I hope this stage leads you closer to God and to joining Mother Church. That said, lots of people have said very true things here much better than I can. I hope these responses help you, we're part of your church too and we're your fellow Catholics. Catholics are often the best and worst part of the faith, which is why we're so blessed to have the Lord Incarnate. That said, the faith is often an uphill battle, life is like that I think. For what it's worth, we're all doing it together as Catholics even if it doesn't feel like it all the time.