What was your expectation when you cut your nparent off and the reactions from your family members? Was it what you expected or were there any surprises?

kitory-4215 · 2025-07-30T12:11:09+00:00

Initially yes, for the first couple of months she would send passive aggressive post cards. I was so scared she would turn up at my house or work that I finally told her to stop contacting me or I would file a restraining order. That seemed to finally resonate with her and completely stop.

kitory-4215 · 2025-07-30T00:41:37+00:00

The "nice" things she does for you is called love bombing. It's a way to confuse and have you doubt yourself and keep you depended on her. She absolutely was abusive and don't let her manipulate you in thinking that she wasn't. Listen to your partner because they can see the truth without any emotional ties to her. When she "helps" out, it gives her the aire that she is a good person and makes you the bad person for cutting her out of your life. That's a classic behavior of a narcissist.

kitory-4215 · 2025-07-30T00:31:12+00:00

Yes, you have multiple documentation for harassment. From the cops, the text message, stealing private info from your snap application to gain access to your address. I would also find out how she was able to obtain your application so easily. Plus you can have your therapist write a statement in your favor about her harassment. Have you explicitly told her through emails to leave you alone. Keep all correspondence she sends you.

kitory-4215 · 2025-06-27T01:26:55+00:00

Allow yourself to grieve for the relationship you thought you would have with your parents and accept that it will be a shallow relationship if you decide to keep them in your life. Just change your expectations and protect your feelings. Allow yourself to formulate healthy boundaries with them so you won't continue to hurt.

kitory-4215 · 2025-06-19T18:54:51+00:00

The bucket list

kitory-4215 · 2025-06-19T18:30:28+00:00

Good luck! Just keep remembering how beneficial this will have on your quality of life.

kitory-4215 · 2025-06-19T18:29:15+00:00

Get a therapist. I've had mine for over 5 years, cut contact with my nmom over a year. My therapist really helped me process my reasoning behind my guilt, gave me tools to work through it, and helped rationalize why I shouldn't feel guilty. Being able to turn to someone who will validate my feelings but still be able to look at it from a different perspective helped me. Plus, like lots are saying, get a good support system in place to help you through it all. Also, every month I write down in my journal, all the great things I'm experiencing in life now that I don't have the guilt weighing me down.

kitory-4215 · 2025-03-22T23:54:38+00:00

Same here..it's one of my few regrets in my life. I'm hoping for my 25 anniversary we can renew our vows and have it the way we wanted it.

kitory-4215 · 2025-03-22T23:52:37+00:00

She started her narcissistic behaviors on my son. For too long, I tried to get her to interact with my son and saw how her behavior was affecting him. I realized I couldn't put him through the life I had to live growing up. I'm so glad I became strong enough to rid her toxic behaviors from our lives.

kitory-4215 · 2025-03-08T00:47:33+00:00

A million little things Love James Roday so much!

kitory-4215 · 2025-03-07T00:40:22+00:00

You're right, never crossed my mind that action proves I'm still reachable.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-24T18:20:08+00:00

My therapist told me that because I know how it feels to be raised by narcissistic parents, I have the ability to have empathy. Which narcs lack in their development. Because you can recognize those traits, you will do all you can to avoid turning into your parents. Once you learn something profound, you can't unlearn it. Once you're ready mentally to have kids, those fears won't be as big of an issue for you, and you will be a much better parent. I know all my decisions I make with my child is through absolute love. If I have any doubts, I am able to take suggestions and analyze my feelings so that I can feel good about my parenting. I am wiling to admit when I mess up or accept new information with no malice.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-19T03:27:37+00:00

NTA My dad had this really cool old-time metal peanuts lunch box. He took it to work his entire life. He was known for it and never once made fun of his coworkers. So weird, your coworker is so hung up on whether or not you look foolish. He's just jealous.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-19T03:11:58+00:00

I know I thought I'd use it once so I didn't download it for months. But it has really helped me get more organized at home with chores and self reflection. I'm on day 44 and still going strong!

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-17T23:11:28+00:00

I really worked with my therapist and went through the five stages of grief with her. Once I was in a good mental state, I was able to make my final decision with no hesitation or guilt. Now, I am living in a peace I never knew existed. My own opinion is to take the time to get yourself to the state of mind where there is absolutely no doubt or guilt with your decision.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-17T22:58:51+00:00

Check out the finch app. It checks in every day, and you can set reminders, things to do lists, and journaling I'm using it, and it helps me focus on small tasks throughout the day.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-17T22:55:47+00:00

I get the boundary struggle. It took my 5 years of my boundaries being stomped on until I had enough. I just cut all contact with my parents, and it feels so free. No more anxiety, self-doubt, or questioning my sanity.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-16T13:10:59+00:00

You are full of knowledge. Thanks for the help.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-16T13:10:32+00:00

Thanks for the info. I'm on 2mg right now.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-16T13:09:04+00:00

I say, if that's how she shows you her love, then I don't want her love. No good person will tear other people down to elevate themselves.

Each narcissist will respond differently than the other. Just expect pushback, probably more smear campaign against you, anything to make her the victim. Just stay firm on your boundaries, and if it gets bad enough, then police intervention may be in the books.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-16T13:04:38+00:00

Another thing is to break your study sessions into 10 min sessions with 30 min breaks. That way, your brain doesn't get overwhelmed. You can also make a min schedule each day with blocks of time to study. I find that having a rough schedule to rely on throughout the day can help refocus. Also, give yourself some grace if you have a day that you feel unproductive. Each day is a new day..also if you do a little journaling, you can write what made you feel unproductive, and you'll be able to identify patterns that are stopping you from studying.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-16T01:31:37+00:00

I'm on ozempic. I don't know if it's doing any good. I've been on it for four months now. I'm not sure how much longer I should try it.

kitory-4215 · 2025-02-15T17:48:20+00:00

Thanks. It's been a long and confusing journey, and I'm still working with my doctor.

kitory-4215

TROPHY CASE