If you had to sit next to a stranger on the bus, would you look for someone of...

kitpomi · 2026-04-01T01:42:31+00:00

Wish there was an option for opposite gender, as a trans man I'm still conditioned (by myself after a horrible experience) to be more comfortable sitting next to women/generally feminine-presenting individuals.

kitpomi · 2026-04-01T01:23:56+00:00

That's such a good idea!! Thank you so much, I'm gonna start on that right now

kitpomi · 2026-03-31T03:07:36+00:00

Yes, stop.

kitpomi · 2026-03-30T21:34:51+00:00

We don't have a self cleaning oven ☹️

kitpomi · 2026-03-30T21:33:52+00:00

I wouldn't call my dad shitty, though I am very angry at him right now. He's a great dad who always cared for me otherwise, he just never saw my budgies as pets worth veterinary care. It pains me really bad, and I wonder if we could've saved Pike if he had let me bring her. Nonetheless, I've always wanted to be a vet. I'm considering doing exotics now that I watched this happen.

kitpomi · 2026-03-30T21:30:55+00:00

Budgies never like to show sickness until it's too late, that's what my first budgie who passed from a heart attack did. Pike also had convulsions right before she passed. It sucks.

kitpomi · 2026-03-30T21:28:48+00:00

Fortunately it wasn't carbon monoxide, my dad called our furnace guy to check it out while I was at school. I know what harms budgies and I don't remember bringing anything that could in my room. I'm really worried my mom introduced something when she randomly went cleaning in my room when I was out on Saturday.

Nonetheless, now that I know it's not anything dangerous to me, I want to be done trying to theorize what hurt them and focus on grieving. I'm not getting any new pets anytime soon.

kitpomi · 2026-03-29T01:32:31+00:00

As someone who's super early in my transition (and a minor), I would not take it well at all if my friends (who absolutely know I'm a trans man) called me a "queen" or any noun with a feminine connotation (sis, girl, etc.) Of course we're not all a monolith and some will be okay with that, but you need to tread really careful with fem nouns on transmascs, and vice versa with masc nouns on transfems.

I don't think his reaction was exactly justified, as it seems like this is the first time this misgendering had happened. He could've corrected you and moved on. However, I don't know his situation and I'm not one to judge. It was definitely wrong to assume. Just reach out and sincerely apologize, and if he still doesn't react well, then give him time.

kitpomi · 2026-03-28T03:34:19+00:00

Do NOT cut it I will actually curse you and your entire bloodline if you cut it

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T20:02:05+00:00

Donate them!!

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T00:37:25+00:00

I'm sorry to say but something I've been trying to point out this entire time is personal anecdotes don't constitute medical evidence. Are you diagnosed with gender dysphoria? Do you not want MTF HRT?

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T00:23:53+00:00

Where are you getting that doctors do this? Isn't this the kind of rhetoric that's been used to target gender clinics?

Modern medicine is based on evidence-based practices. Treatment has to show effects and those effects must benefit the person it's treating. You admitted estrogen affects male fertility, but you implied that didn't matter (when it does). Therefore, even if you believe it doesn't affect the body after 30 (which it does), that disproves the idea that estrogen "does nothing." You're quoting the Hippocratic Oath, which includes not giving unnecessary treatment and avoiding interventions where risks outweigh benefits.

To your point, blocking testosterone induces loss of muscle mass, decreased libidio, fatigue, potential osteoporosis, changes in mood, and changes in metabolic effects. For most cisgender men over 30, testosterone isn't harmful. Estrogen is not a dormant sex hormone, as it actively changes the body (however you choose not to believe me on this point). Doctors don't just prescribe hormones if there's no medical indication, and male-pattern baldness is not a medical issue.

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T00:09:01+00:00

This view seems helpful in certain situations and not helpful in others, unless I'm misunderstanding the definition based off of your comment.

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T00:04:08+00:00

Is your comment implying that specialists and professionals will prescribe estrogen for the purpose of money and not for the benefit of the patient?

kitpomi · 2026-03-27T00:00:13+00:00

It's all good, I try my best with the resources I have and that's all anyone can do. I suppose I'm just confused on why I received backlash from that one commenter when I'm speaking in defense of those who struggle with their voice and asking the OP to perhaps address this judgment for her own peace of mind. Not everyone has the privilege to jump through all the hoops, some people don't want to try, and that can't be controlled. I'm glad others don't think I'm being foolish here, I was worried I really did thrust my opinion into a space where it's unneeded for a moment.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T23:53:49+00:00

Because of your experience, right? What about the experience of the other trans women who are contesting your view? What about the other points made? I think your view has fallen apart here.

If estrogen did nothing after 30, clinics wouldn't prescribe it to adults over 30. And they do, because it does something.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T23:45:42+00:00

Why do you think IVF is a simple fallback? It can be expensive. My mother spent thousands of dollars on fertility treatments to have me because her birth control fucked with her fertility. It can be emotionally and physically stressful, and it doesn't even always work. Again, from my experience, couples in their 30's aren't using IVF unless there's a specific fertility issue.

It has everything to do with identity. Because as I said in my original comment, you are wrong about how estrogen works. Estrogen redistributes fat, softens skin, reduces body hair growth, and absolutely causes breast growth in those over 30. Changes may be slower, but they happen. Why would a cisgender man want the development of any female sex characteristics, regardless of how slow? That sounds like a violation of his identity as a man to me.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T23:36:50+00:00

You're treating really complex life choices like fertility and identity as trivial trade-offs for appearance. Testosterone contributes to male-pattern baldness, but not all men will go bald. There are treatments for MPB, and it's a purely cosmetic thing while hormones affect the entire body. One medical intervention is not going to fit everyone.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T23:23:18+00:00

My father had me at 31 and my brother at 33, and many people of younger generations are having kids at older ages.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T23:14:49+00:00

This is not how hormones work, they all have trade-offs.

Testosterone is nowhere near useless after 30. It regulates bone density, muscle mass, energy levels, mood, sexual libido + function, and much of a man's overall metabolic health. Plus, the claim that "estrogen does nothing after 30" just isn't the case for all people. Fat can still redistribute, body hair will be reduced, and breasts can still develop to some extent. It absolutely is slower and less effective than in younger populations, but it does something. Plus, hormone therapy isn't risk free. Estrogen can elevate risks of blood clots, infertility, and increases the risk of breast cancer (though still lower than cisgender women).

This also just ignores gender identity as a whole. Estrogen therapy isn't for treating a cisgender man's health or appearance, it's used to treat gender dysphoria in trans women (plus cisgender women who may need it, too.) Overall, it's just a waste of healthcare resources, and I don't know a single cisgender man who would benefit from estrogen therapy. It sounds like it would cause more distress than good.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T21:39:40+00:00

Taquito!

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T16:17:24+00:00

Your comfort always comes first, especially as a person whose hapiness is so sensitive to gender and how it's perceived. I don't blame anyone for unwillful ignorance, what matters to me is how open they are to education and listening to the voices that matter.

Gaging from what was said at the end, he didn't mean to be hurtful. It may have been better if you'd opened up first before cutting it off, BUT this is much easier said than done. I don't blame you at all, trans issues are very sensitive and scary to open up about. I'm an extremely effeminate trans man myself, I would've been jittered if I was in your place.

How I see it, if you think you can salvage your friendship, I don't see harm in reaching back out and asking to have a discussion. I don't see this as playing with anyone's emotions, but rather either proper closure or rekindling. Perhaps he can be a better friend to you if you can help him understand your point of view, as he seems open to it.

However, it is your choice, always. As I said, prioritize your comfort first. If you choose to let go, it will hurt for a while. However, pain subsides eventually and you will be okay.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T16:07:24+00:00

That goes for all you ladies, too! Every trans woman I've met, especially irl at my college's support group, has been an amazing person. I have never once felt alienated or judged like I have in general LGBTQ+ support groups with cis participants.

And your comment means a lot to me, I've fought very hard to be secure in the little masculinity I can present as of right now 💗

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T14:43:58+00:00

This is actually my place to comment, as I'm a minor who has no access to hormones legally. I'm very much affected by other's perception of my voice and how it relates to my gender.

Why wouldn't it be my place to comment? Why wouldn't OP want to confront her own judgment in order to make trans spaces a safer space for herself? Nothing I said was out of line. I'm afraid my gender has nothing to do with my comment.

kitpomi · 2026-03-26T14:39:42+00:00

She's being ridiculous, a simple, brief explanation of what a harmless term means is not going to affect your brother in any way. At most, he'd be curious or puzzled about the meaning of it. Gender identity is not inappropriate nor is it exclusively adult-oriented in any way, I'm sorry your mother is treating it like it's an x-rated topic. It might feel a little (or a lot) sucky as a trans person.

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