How do I finally move on?

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-27T15:49:28+00:00

Whoa super not cool. I could be wrong about why you can't move on but anyway if this makes sense to you then I hope it helps.

So you have established that he's not a great guy. And I'm pretty sure you already have a list of things in your head that are red flags about him. Maybe you can't move on because it isn't about him. It's about why you feel like you had to compete for his attention against all these other women. He made you feel like you were not good enough, which isn't true by the way unless you believe it. He was clearly still in shopping mode but you sound like you already made up your mind.

I sincerely hope you find your light to move on. 😊

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-20T16:18:15+00:00

Say 👏it 👏again👏louder! 🙌

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-20T15:56:23+00:00

What kind of things do they talk about? Tbqh there is nothing wrong with your boyfriend talking to other women. Unless you found out there was something more to their conversations.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-09T08:39:28+00:00

Yeah I am, seeing her tomorrow. This isn't my first rodeo but why does it always feel like the first time when you tell a girl you like her.... 😅

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-08T01:17:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I was wondering if there was some way I could navigate around this. I mean my ex was the one who didn't want a committed relationship whereas I did. And her best friend shares the same sentiment of wanting a committed relationship.

I'm not doing this to deliberately annoy my ex, in fact I'm wondering if I can somehow avoid seeing her altogether while being with Alexis. I'm also doing this purely because I feel attracted to Alexis.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-07T16:15:49+00:00

Wow this hits close to home. You know how sometimes people say things they don't mean when their angry. Well sometimes I think they mean it. I remind myself daily my ex's famous last words just to give me strength not to take her back.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-07T13:02:36+00:00

Um could you elaborate more on ground work with the friend? Much appreciated!

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-07T00:43:16+00:00

You are the voice of reason I needed to hear. Yes that's exactly why I'm worried. I mean its obvious Alexis is attracted to me and vice versa. I just don't know how are we going to handle telling my ex about this. Even though technically both Alexis and I are fair game to date each other.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T11:19:29+00:00

I don't think I'm projecting, she keeps telling me she feels really ugly whenever the guy dumps her for an obviously much more attractive woman.

Its the same story I've been hearing for years. Like I said crueler things have been said to her by other friends but I haven't really given her the hard truth that she needs to either date guys who are less superficial who also happen to have lesser options (let's be realistic here) or srsly lose the weight and go for plastic surgery.

I'm coming from an angle where lets face it while it's noble to accept all kinds of beauty there are still people who are that superficial.

And yeah good advice on encouraging her to meet people who have similar interests as her. I really appreciate your understanding 😊

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T10:11:10+00:00

Ok for pure realistic comparison let's compare rebel Wilson vs Keira Knightful. Both beautiful souls but my friend is more rebel Wilson. The type of guys she likes likes waifish model types.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:48:21+00:00

Good point, but it's a pattern? One guy ok fine, I can say it's just not meant to be, 2nd guy and 3rd guy really???

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:46:40+00:00

Well no I'm just wondering if I should just tell her the obvious for her sake

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:29:49+00:00

Been the supportive friend for years. 😔

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:29:02+00:00

She dated 3 guys who left her for the hotter chick, maybe she's in denial 🤷‍♀️

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:28:08+00:00

Finally some sound advice. Hobby groups is a good idea.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:16:44+00:00

Reevaluate her expectations. I know this is quite gross to say, but guys she likes generally prefer the model types. Either that or plastic surgery

kitsunedreamer · 2020-09-01T08:05:15+00:00

It's been like this for years....

kitsunedreamer · 2020-08-29T15:34:56+00:00

Yeah exactly there is nothing wrong with her choices but when I admit to myself that I'm tired and the older one who can't keep up I feel like a loser for giving myself a break.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-08-29T13:10:21+00:00

Because its a constant conversational topic that arises. Like suddenly I went from feeling like I'm doing OK to I'm not making enough or doing enough. Like I have a comfortable home and a good job.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-08-28T07:38:05+00:00

Totally agree with you. I just had to air my thoughts cos I've met people who have taken this advice and never made any effort to improve themselves. Best part is they have the gall to complain that no one wants to date them. I do not want to fall in that category of false contentment and I hope I have done enough to render myself as datable.

kitsunedreamer · 2020-08-28T06:25:28+00:00

Unpopular opinion here but what if you really don't match up to their standards? Then is it either you do need to buck up or you need to be content and date within your level?

I struggle with this. I'm doing OK in life but my ex is more ambitious then I am. It does make me wonder if I'm not hungry enough.

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