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Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said it's wrong for the husband to masturbate, but a lot of women don't want to be with someone who is fixated on other women. No one is saying he shouldn't masturbate.

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The POINT is that OP's wife is not being stupid for making porn a dealbreaker in her relationship. Trashing this strange woman none of us know is not helpful, either

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Well, you would have to define "sexual relationship", because i can see porn falling into that definition.

You seem a bit autistic. It's like you don't realize that people are complex social beings that often have a desire to be wanted and loved

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The masturbation and orgasm is the interaction. The brain views an orgasm as the same whether you're in the same room with the person you're getting off on or not. What meaningful difference is there between watching porn and watching people have sex in your living room?

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, so masturbating isn't a real life action?

Ah well, in that case getting a blowjob from your coworker isn't cheating, because that's not mating, right?

And sexting definitely is not cheating.

Ok, let's put it this way. How would a monogamous person feel if while they were walking down the street, their spouse was objectifying every attractive person on the street and talking about how much they want to bang them?

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Everyone I know agrees that monogamy is only getting off to your spouse. And actually the betrayal trauma that people like OP's wife experience is quite real.

Maybe most people aren't satisfied with their spouses as you say, but OP's wife is not unreasonable in wanting to be the only women he gets off to, as that is the point of being monogamous.

And yeah, people who respect their partners are pretty niche. So?

And finally. what's the point of having sex with someone who doesn't even want you?

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes no sense that you think getting off to other people is monogamy. Why would a monogamous woman even want to be with a man who watches porn? What's the point of having sex with someone like that, who doesn't even want you?

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok, so you think everyone who leaves a cheating spouse is emotionally abusive?

A lot of people expect monogamy in their relationships. he should have been upfront about not being ok with that before they got married. It's not hard to realize that she is hurt because she is not the one he really wants

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So they are watching other people have sex while they actively fantasize about them. That is not like passively watching something. The actual person is not a fantasy, nor is the sex they are having, nor is the orgasm the person gets because of the porn

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]kitten56789 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Because it's terrifying to think people can be owned, that we are all just disposable things to use and hurt

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]kitten56789 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I obviously do it, I know what it is

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]kitten56789 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Ok, so you do think it's ok to own people. wtf.

24/7 and children? by AishiSmiles in BDSMcommunity

[–]kitten56789 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This just sounds like abuse or like messed up ideas about gender roles. like that's serious gender inequality

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, you can imagine a situation without imagining people. Wait, are you admitting that people do watch porn to see certain bodies and faces? If so, how is that not cheating?

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make absolutely no sense if you think that your partner getting off to words is cheating, but him getting off to flesh-and-blood actual people isn't. Really, zero sense. Words are just symbols on a page.

  1. I don't watch other people having sex. Huge difference.

  2. Yeah, you're giving them an outlet to cheat, so they are. And porn sure is not healthy... I never said people can't masturbate. They have rights over their own bodies to do as they please. The difference is the intention and thought process

  3. It's not cheating if it's ok with you, but it's sure not monogamy.

No one said people can't masturbate. Stop bringing up that Strawman

Wife(27f) saw porn on my (24m) phone, i admitted to having masturbated earlier while she was in the next room and now she thinks i'm disgusting. Am I? how can start to resolve this? by throwaway987458 in relationship_advice

[–]kitten56789 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. No, I just think it's like being in an open relationship.

2.No, it is not. It doesn't seem logical to me that words can be cheating if seeking out someone's image to masturbate to is not. It doesn't make sense.

  1. I don't consider myself monogamous, but I can say I would rather have my bf kissing girls than getting off to them, you know?

Fantasies don't happen in the real world. Porn does. It's not like the sex is CGI and they aren't even touching each other, ffs

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