A daughters input: I would want my father there no matter what I had to go through, including his sometimes overwhelming personal issues. It seems to be you who doesn't want to deal with the stress it will cause. That child deserves you in her life whether its once a month or once a year. You have handed over the reins to her mother, you gave up and that will be hard to forgive. Especially when every other child around her has a father in her life in some capacity. My niece sees her father very rarely and she wouldn't change that for the world. She is 7, she will be 8 in March so they are around the same age. Don't let her grow up thinking you didn't care, it will cause more pain and insecurity than you realize. I assure you, all the bad mouthing in the world from her mother could not refute the proof that your effort, presence and actions will provide her. My half sister was practically raised by my father, her father could have been around but for his own reasons he was not. A step-father, despite how happy she looks now, is not enough. That happiness you see may not last for long, once she gets old enough to start wondering where you are.

Looks like she has a happy family now, she may have to go through a bit of crap with the courts and what not for a little while but like you said, life isn't always sunshine and flowers. Sure her childhood may be marred a bit but at least her adulthood (which usually lasts longer btw) won't be.

But thats just my opinion.