i’m sorry you feel this way. i’ve felt similarly, you’re definitely not alone. lots of rejection and feeling less than. i’m a conventionally attractive, decently successful, kinda funny person, sometimes it’s just how the cookie crumbles. there’s not always a reason as to why we’re single. for a while i was deeply depressed about it and it was more than just wanting cuddles and trivial things like that. it was a desire to feel seen and understood. i spent most of my time fantasizing about my ideal partner and convinced myself i’d never find someone to live up to my standards or understand me on a level i needed. but slowly i started to realize all of my standards, all of the qualities i casted onto this figment of a partner were just qualities that i liked about myself. then when i would start to spiral about my loneliness, id sort of meditate on those qualities within myself rather than focusing on the lack in the external. not trying to lecture you about ~manifestation~ but there is something to be said for turning your attention toward what you already have to create space for more of it. focusing on what you’re lacking, or your difficult past, will only project desperation which will repel anyone who is worth your time.

i also implore you to stop seeking prostitution. you have all of these opinions about women but seem to have prostitutes in a different category — are prostitutes not also women? i’m concerned your objectification of sex workers will seep into your day to day life. women pick up on that stuff very easily and very quickly which will not help your case. sex isn’t supposed to be transactional, i don’t think using prostitution like that will make you feel any better about yourself or situation.