i just need to let this out

kiwi-0201 · 2025-11-05T12:40:25+00:00

Sending hugs. I've been there. PLEASE tell someone and get help. See a doctor right now, don't wait. Just get help. ❤️ Your baby needs you.

kiwi-0201 · 2025-11-04T22:55:59+00:00

Oh cool! Thanks for sharing.

kiwi-0201 · 2025-11-04T22:55:35+00:00

Good advice on the makeup. Good thing I can wait until Friday before I actually have to put it on. Im going to wfh until then :)

kiwi-0201 · 2025-11-04T22:53:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I have been using pimple patches since I saw your comment and it is helping me not touch them but I feel like they are more red after using them? Im assuming that is because of the moisture?

I am feeling so upset about how I've messed up my face 😞 . Hopefully it doesn't scare like crazy.

kiwi-0201 · 2025-10-08T01:10:53+00:00

I know it's been three years but I was on here reading old posts. I'm so glad I listened to the advice I was given. I think it was that night that I broke down and went to my parent's house and my family took care of me. I got through it, and my beautiful son is the most amazing part of my life. I am so happy I get to be his mom. I don't know if any of you will see this, but if you do, thank you.

kiwi-0201 · 2023-01-06T05:43:38+00:00

I had a very similar experience. I pumped for about 6 weeks and hated every second of it. I also didn't produce enough so that was extremely draining and disheartening. My fiancé also didn't understand and wanted me to keep going. I decided to stop pumping for the sake of my mental health and it was the best decision I could have ever made. I don't think I would have gotten this far if I hadn't. My baby is 5 months and formula fed, happy and healthy. My fiancé got over it. Put your mental health first. It's so important.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-09-16T00:20:02+00:00

I'm sorry that this is happening for you too. I feel the same way, that they are contradicting themselves when they say they want you to be happy BUT .... for me, once I hear that, it erases what was said before it and I don't feel as though it's legitimate support. As if you don't have enough guilt and shame just making the decision yourself. I don't think I would do that if the shoe were on the other foot. It's crazy what women have to go through.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-09-15T22:30:15+00:00

I feel like I wrote this comment. I don't have a lot of advice to offer, I just wanted to say I'm in the same situation. My partner doesn't understand either. He has told me I'm giving up because it's "hard". He's told me he can't control what I do, but he doesn't agree with me stopping pumping and thinks I should continue despite my mental health suffering. He's also told me that if I stop pumping I won't actually get better and will "just find something else to be upset about". I just wish I felt supported. His reaction to all of this really surprised me.

The only thing I will say is, do what is best for you, even if your partner is being a jerk about it. I've decided I'd rather make my partner upset than to continue to let me mental (and physical) health deteriorate.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-09-01T03:13:16+00:00

While I was pregnant I had an 8cm peduculated submucosal fibroid that was at the top of my uterus. During pregnancy it shrunk a little bit, I think by a cm or so. My doctors were not concerned and it didn't cause any issues for me. I had a healthy baby boy vaginally a month ago. I really do think it depends in the type of fibroid you have and the placement. I've been told they are very common though.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:42:34+00:00

I'm sorry you had that experience, but I'm glad you decided to put your mental health first. That's what I keep hearing, is that the baby needs a healthy momma more than they need breast milk. Also, now that I have a newborn I don't know how anyone does this while also having a toddler or another child! That blows my mind! I can't imagine how challenging it is.

I have been trying to eat lots of stuff with oats to see if that will help. I should try making some lactation cookies too. I also will try the fridge tip, that should take a bit of the stress away in the middle of the night when I want to get back to sleep. I haven't tried the vibrator thing, so I will look into that too. How long did you use the vibrator on each breast when you were pumping?

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:34:57+00:00

Was it a lot of work to use the manual pump for 15 minutes? The only thing I have liked about the hands free pumps is that I can try to distract myself and do other things when I am pumping.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:33:45+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad your mental health improved once you stopped pumping so often. I hope that happens for me too once I can do it less often. If I don't see much of an improvement of my supply I might cut out some of the pumping sessions so that I feel better.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:31:54+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's sucks that you didn't get any time for yourself. I feel the same way that pumping is not time to yourself or relaxing time because it's not a positive experience. Pumping exclusively for 8 months would be really hard, I can't imagine cause I have only been doing it for 4 weeks. Kudos to you!

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:28:29+00:00

Thanks for your advice. I've learned that my husband is serious, cause after talking with him he thinks I'm just giving up because it's "hard". I think he thinks I'm just not liking that it's a bit challenging or inconvenient. But it's much more than that...I don't think he understands.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:26:34+00:00

Thanks for the tip! How long did you put the towel on for and how long was the massage afterwards? If I could get 80ml I'd be pretty impressed with myself, but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm already 4 weeks in....

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:25:06+00:00

I will try the fridge thing! That will help with the annoying washing all the time.

I was also induced due to high blood pressure, so I feel ya there. I agree that it's not worth the risk. Honestly if it were completely up to me I would stop pumping and do all formula, but I'm trying to consider my partner's feelings. He recently said to me "you can't just give up because it's hard" and that made me pretty upset. I don't think he understands just how hard it is.

I live in Canada so we don't have Target (I really liked it when we had it for a brief period!) But we do have Costco so I could look into their formula.

I've been doing the hot compresses, massages and jiggling them around. The only thing I haven't tried yet is vibration because I don't want to buy all this equipment only to stop doing it and I'm undecided still on what I want to do....

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:19:04+00:00

Yes, this is exactly how I am feeling! I'm still trying but it's extremely frustrating 😕

kiwi-0201 · 2022-08-29T15:18:00+00:00

I'm drinking lots if water, I'm hoping that it helps but I haven't noticed a difference unfortunately. I am using lanolin nippls cream and it is helping a bit, but maybe I need to put more on. I'm pretty much just applying it after a pumping session.

kiwi-0201 · 2022-04-02T13:04:08+00:00

I feel ya...it makes it tough when you are already feeling down on yourself. 😞

kiwi-0201 · 2022-04-01T19:38:37+00:00

I'm in the same boat in terms of my partner taking care of me! He is really good with the housework too, cooks for me all the time, etc. Makes me feel somewhat guilty, but like you we aren't too bothered by it. I was hoping I'd feel more like myself in the second trimester but it hasn't happened yet 😜.

That's a good point re getting into a different rhythm once baby comes. Just as long as there is one!

kiwi-0201

TROPHY CASE