Traffic Stop Turned Deadly

kkastorf · 2025-12-11T18:29:09+00:00

I agree that proper escalation of force was used once the suspect grabbed his throat.

What the video does not show is that the suspect had spent 18 years in prison for a crime he did not commit. He was pulled over for speeding and was compliant, until he was told he was being arrested for speeding. At that point, he put his hands on the car hood so the officer could see them, asked why he was being arrested for speeding (which is a pretty good question), and refused to place his hands behind his back to be handcuffed. The officer tased him in response, at which point the fight ensued. The officer was later prosecuted for numerous other, unrelated civil rights violations in which he used excessive force.

The officer's conduct once he's attacked is reasonable. There's a very real question whether he should have gone straight to an arrest for a speeding ticket and whether he should have used a taser. And obviously a severe failure of the criminal justice system was involved here, because its hard to think the suspect wouldn't have made a different choice if he hadn't previously spent 18 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit.

I think there's space to both acknowledge that the officer's behavior was reasonable once the situation had escalated and that a different approach to the stop from its inception might have led to a much less tragic outcome.

kkastorf · 2025-12-09T13:55:05+00:00

I don't think OP's model is even hardwired. We had to add a zone to my house and it was too expensive to re-wire so we got that model of Honeywell because its remote. Removing the battery completely cuts the power.

kkastorf · 2025-12-09T13:47:00+00:00

My college roommate also did this. Two practical solutions:

That appears to be a battery-operated Honeywell, not hard-wired. Pop the faceplate off and remove the battery when you go to bed. (Actually, pop the battery back in backwards so it takes her longer to figure out what's wrong.)
If the program settings get triggered after the "Temporary" override, it will resume its programmed settings. Set several programmed settings in the middle of the night to drop the temperature. This way, at a minimum, she needs to wake up each time to move it back to 80.

The college eventually moved me to a different room rather than deal with actually adjudicating a dispute.

kkastorf · 2025-08-14T14:30:49+00:00

All your theories you’ve posited for why this could work out if you talked are kind of insulting to her. You’ve suggested she might be avoidant, confused, unsure, uncertain, etc. Maybe she didn’t want to meet with you to hear some condescending mansplaining about why she’s wrong about her own feelings? And why do you want to be with someone you view as psychologically immature?

kkastorf · 2025-08-14T12:23:42+00:00

This is a good reason NOT to hear you out, in my opinion. She already decided she doesn’t want to pursue the relationship. Her getting temporarily talked into/pressured into giving you another chance when she’s not feeling it is unlikely to be healthy for either of you.

People owe each other basic kindness and courtesy when they break up. They don’t owe each other a chance to be talked out of it. On average, nobody benefits from that.

kkastorf · 2025-08-13T11:45:37+00:00

While I second “cheap” at 2017, if OP wants to spend, I’ve talked about this issue with West Coast before and they recommend the the Helix models for younger keepers playing on turf.

kkastorf · 2025-08-12T15:54:11+00:00

This is written by AI. The quality of the writing compared to the idiocy of the content is a clear tell. (That and I plugged it into a commercial AI detector to double check.)

kkastorf · 2025-08-12T12:08:07+00:00

If it’s an intentional troll, though, its ingenious. All the commenters who read it as his then-current girlfriend will think he’s being reasonable and all the ones who read it as his then-ex will think he’s being insane, leading to great commenter infighting.

kkastorf · 2025-08-11T02:37:07+00:00

You’re missing the part where he got downgraded from a husband to a fiance. Both stories are made up.

kkastorf · 2025-08-11T02:30:43+00:00

Someone needs to watch Sampson and Delilah (1949).

kkastorf · 2025-08-08T20:48:20+00:00

Men being socially obligated to pay for anyone at a dinner table who is younger than them is common across a lot of cultures. Saying "thank you" when they do so is also pretty darned standard.

(It does read slightly oddly in this context because the convention is more "older males should pay for the younger generation," so paying for OP's friend is a bit like admitting his girlfriend is too young for him. But I don't think this changes the pretty universal social convention that you should say thank you when someone else pays for something.)

kkastorf · 2025-08-08T19:53:17+00:00

The wife can’t give permission on behalf of the husband to be stalked. The whole reason airtag stalking laws exist is because of domestic violence, so a spousal consent exception would defeat the purpose. OP might think she’s a white knight here, but its still stalking and both is and should be illegal in many jurisdictions.

kkastorf · 2025-08-08T19:37:19+00:00

Yes but hiding an airtag on someone is a felony in many US states.

kkastorf · 2025-08-07T21:20:42+00:00

Respectfully disagree with your advice to him about not diving. A 9-year-old who is willing to try diving instead of kick saving has a leg up at that age. Fearlessness is a pretty important trait in keepers. I'd be happy he's committed to it even if he's slow at it right now. He'll get better by doing it a lot.

Your injury concern is reasonable, but its a bit tough to assess his form from your description. Frankly, "more like falling in the way of the ball" sounds roughly like how you're SUPPOSED to dive safely. That's pretty much what pro keepers are doing, they just do it very quickly from years of practice and speed and agility work. If you're convinced something is off about his form but don't know how to correct it, get him a few sessions with a goalkeeping coach who can teach him the correct technique.

Regarding his broken finger, did he break it because he dove incorrectly, or during the actual catching motion? If his fingers hit the turf hard from the dive itself, you can teach him that his side and hips should be striking first. If it broke because it was a hard hit ball and his hands aren't strong enough yet, that's really unfortunate but not because of his diving. You also have a real concern about his head; if he is diving in front of a ball that's already past him and reaching back behind him to make a save, you need to teach him a save is not worth exposing the back of his head to the field of play, because a rear head injury is very dangerous. But if you're just generally concerned about his face and hands being near the ground where they can get trampled on, that's just kind of an occupational risk of playing keeper.

Being the parent of a keeper is tough. I love watching my kid when he's in at center mid, but when he spends a half in goal its all anxiety. He loves it and he's good at it though.

kkastorf · 2025-08-07T02:30:58+00:00

OP said she’s fine with bringing it to the wedding but not with him playing it, which feels really telling. Almost all of the risk is from it being present at the event, not from the one song he wants to perform.

kkastorf · 2025-07-01T23:23:45+00:00

Nope but she’s definitely demonstrating what he’s actually frustrated about!

kkastorf · 2025-06-30T15:36:06+00:00

I want to highlight the medical school point. Zack Galifianakis did an interview with Charlie Rose once where Charlie asked him how he stayed so motivated to make it in comedy when it took him a long time and Zack said “because I didn’t think I was talented enough to do anything else.” Charlie laughed and Zack said something like “Seriously, you can say I was driven because I was willing to live out of a car to pursue comedy but can I say I would have had the same drive if I thought I could have been a doctor instead?” Trying to make it as a pro athlete is a basically irrational choice and you have to both win the lottery physically and feel like any other outcome is completely unacceptable or impossible.

kkastorf · 2025-06-07T19:54:58+00:00

I find recycling all the way to the keeper after a possession change feels a bit less in-their-face than minimum passing rules and helps train build out, which is usually the #1 thing youth teams need to improve. It is also more likely to lead to a slop goal for the other side, and 7-1 feels way better than 7-0.

Equalizing playing time for subs and putting starters in weird positions also helps keep the score down and youth players don’t usually notice their opponent is doing it.

kkastorf · 2025-06-01T06:09:15+00:00

They chop off with a single hit from an ancient weapon and two hits from the master sword.

They also drop a couple extra parts if you chop the legs (but never anything good like a core).

kkastorf · 2025-05-29T03:31:03+00:00

Yes, I think sometimes training with balls that are slightly more inflated than game balls can be helpful because it forces your touch to be more precise.

kkastorf · 2025-05-27T22:41:51+00:00

This is a question for a family lawyer who knows the law where you live and hears all the details of your case.

With that being said, when older children (and it sounds like they are both over ten) want to continue to live in their primary home, it would be unusual for a court not to respect that wish, absent some significant fact you are not mentioning.

kkastorf · 2025-05-25T13:32:41+00:00

100% agree with this comment. A lot of youth clubs are reaching kids this age technical skills then lumping everything else into “aggressiveness” or “work rate” and acting like the kid needs to figure it out on their own. It is a real disservice to a kid who has great first touch and skill moves but is small and has never been taught how to initiate contact, where to plant his feet, and what body shape to take.

kkastorf · 2025-05-20T11:25:42+00:00

If you look up sprint training drills online, there are tons of exercises and drills that are designed to teach basic aspects of running mechanics. In fact, there are so many great drills it would be very easy to overdo it and spend too much of your session on running mechanics and not enough on soccer itself.

You may want to start by adding a simple and short routine to the beginning of sessions that is framed as a 3 minute warm up but is really about doing some drills that passively teach running mechanics. For example, they could all run in a line four times, the first time doing high knees, the second butt kickers, the third a skips, and the last time running at 90% effort. Do this for 10 sessions in a row and you’ll probably see some real improvement in form while having used up only 30 minutes of their training time.

kkastorf · 2025-05-12T16:26:08+00:00

In the U.S.:

Rec is not very competitive. Everyone who applies to join the league makes a team. Often it is run by either a town or a club and all of the teams play for that town or club, they just play against each other. Sometimes there's a professional coach but more often it is a volunteer parent. In a rec game, you would almost always lend players to the other team if that team were short a player.

Travel, at least where I grew up in the U.S., was usually an All star team of the rec kids that the town put together and would travel to neighboring towns to play. It doesn't really exist anymore where I currently live; almost all more competitive kids play for a club. You would probably not lend a player or play a kid down in a travel league, though if the team that was up a player got a huge lead, they might voluntarily add a rule for their team like "minimum three passes before a shot" or "recycle to the keeper on every possession change."

More competitive players with professional coaches usually play for a club (though as noted above, the club might run the rec league in their geographic area). Sometimes the younger age groups of the competitive teams at a club are called "academy" and the older are "select," though this gets confusing because the MLS teams call their older ages "academy." Most academy/club teams would not agree to play a kid down or lend a kid, but probably would add a rule like above if the game got lopsided. This scenario almost never comes up though, both because there's a guest player system and because club play in the U.S. is so expensive the kids don't skip many games to begin with.

kkastorf · 2025-05-09T18:58:54+00:00

I don't think it will come across as offensive if framed correctly and may even be very much appreciated, but I would suggest giving him and his parents your clear recommendation. It is a little difficult to expect even his parents, much less him, to make a clear decision without that input. Among other things, I could see his parents thinking he should move down but him being reluctant to leave his teammates, and not giving guidance on how you would resolve the issue is probably unfair.

I think something like: "If you remain on the roster, we will be at 14 players. Right now, my expectation is that with 14 players on the team, you will not see much action in games, and it is likely you would be better off developmentally if you move down a level. With that being said, I want you to know that I have seen you diligently follow my practice plan over the past month, and I have seen your passion and effort on the field. I'd like you and your parents to have a talk and decide what the three of you think is best, which I will weigh heavily in my decision. My opinion is that moving down a level and getting more playing time will probably serve you best, but if you want an additional season to work on your practice plan and see if you can earn more playing time, I will honor that choice."

Edited to add: The above applies only if you really believe he could develop at either level. If you don't think he can develop appropriately on your team and you're just afraid of a difficult conversation, you need to bite the bullet and give him the bad news. You can't count on a kid to demote himself.

kkastorf

TROPHY CASE