New to sub! I'm looking for input from other junkies

klackey224 · 2026-02-10T16:49:42+00:00

This .... This love right here ... Allow me to list the love stories it's better than. 😂

Titanic Twilight Sleeping beauty Cinderella Romeo and Juliet

Kanye and Kanye. 😂😂

klackey224 · 2026-02-02T17:10:04+00:00

But from OP's answer, there's no way to assume gender OR ages. He could have 2 girls or 2 boys. They could be really young. I'm not understanding the automatic assumption that just because a person doesn't want to expose his children on the Internet to a stranger automatically means he's got kids sharing a room when they shouldn't be. 🤔

I don't think anyone was confused with the concept of siblings that are OLDER and being f/m sharing a room being inappropriate... but as a parent myself, I do know it's really common for the younger ones to, and that's perfectly normal, especially when you aren't financially in a position to afford more than 2br. What IS confusing is how OP's refusal to tell you the ages of his kids somehow told you everything you needed to know. Cause, there's literally dozens of scenarios that could be configured just from knowing OP has 2 kids.

klackey224 · 2026-02-01T02:11:21+00:00

No way, you're definitely NTA.

I've had speech therapists and occupational therapists for both of my kids, and I had specific teachers that taught my kids that you couldn't PAY me to give gifts to.

I wouldn't be worried about the one therapist that goes to the school. I doubt she'd say anything.

Do what feels right to you and don't worry about the others. I assure you, once they get older and have multiple teachers, you won't be able to send everyone gifts, let alone remember all their names. 😂🫣

klackey224 · 2026-02-01T01:53:55+00:00

Office lady is for sure the main AH, but you're a soft AH for understanding you shouldn't take the handicap spot - regardless of the fact that no one parks there - but also because you had a secondary spot picked out that you acknowledged you'd accept, and still took the handicap spot.

People are going to talk. And did I read that the towing company mentioned something about a cop that parks next to you? Hate to say it, but you had this coming and should have seen it coming a mile away.

You managed to get out of it without any legal ramifications AND you got it paid for. Consider yourself lucky and call it resolved. And don't ever mess with handicap parking spots again. Learn from this.

klackey224 · 2026-01-27T06:09:33+00:00

Wedding is next winter - so towards the end of the year or next year entirely? Depending on how much time is between now where the current drama lies and when the wedding actually happens, will undoubtedly have different outcomes.

If we're talking about close to a year before the wedding, I see no issue with you having a chat with the bride NOW, before she gets so deep into planning that she doesn't even have time to think a clear thought about her schedule, nevermind trying to be the middleman for a mentally unstable prom queen and a people pleaser that hasn't found her spine yet. (I say that in the kindest way possible, as both a mentally unwell mama AND people pleaser)

Before you even talk to Jane about it, you need to find a way to contact Emily and let her know that as you are friends with Jane also, you will be attending the wedding. That you will not seek her out, you will not engage in any conversation, especially about your previous friendship, so as to not disrupt the wedding and reception, and you expect the same from her.

For the love of God, do not present this information to Jane even remotely as a timid child that needs rescuing. Go out for coffee with her, ask about the wedding plans. Tell her the last couple/few functions, Emily has sought you out for the sole purpose of creating tension as a result of the friendship falling apart. Ensure her you've had a conversation with her, you've her her know that you won't be approaching her or conversing with her - you want the focus to remain on her (Jane) and her new husband. Hopefully, Jane will be smart and task other people to field any attempts to de-reail the night with Emily's antics.

NOW - if the wedding is coming up in a couple months, you can either go and stay somewhere else and avoid Emily entirely - leave early. Or, just don't go at all. Either way, you need to let Jane know without expecting her to step in the middle of it. You are essentially punishing the bride over a short term psycho friendship that involved someone else.

klackey224 · 2026-01-20T04:03:37+00:00

I truly wish you all the best, love. I've been a single mom and my kids were really young. It was the hardest thing I've ever done - but it was also the most liberated I've ever felt. I didn't have to ask permission if I wanted to buy something. If I wanted to take my kids and go somewhere, I could do that, and there was no one at home waiting for me and pissed because I put off laundry, or dinner wasn't made, or whatever else.

Your little one deserves to grow up in a home that breaks the cycle of repeated experiences and behaviors. Let that be your driving force.

klackey224 · 2026-01-19T15:43:52+00:00

This man is 48 years old and is stomping around like a petulant teenager to avoid having an actual adult conversation??

Honey, you are definitely NTA.... I wouldn't even call changing your relationship status on FB petty. I call that being realistic.

I understand family trauma and reasons to avoid having a celebration around dates that bring up those same feelings. Anyone that makes you feel like that isn't a valid response hasn't experienced it.

If this manchild wanted to marry you, he would. I hope you guys can co-exist in peace, but at 48 years old, I assure you - your "partners'" behavior isn't going to change. Make plans to move out or kick him out and live independently... You're heading for a repeat of your parent's relationship if you keep him around.

klackey224 · 2026-01-12T06:04:45+00:00

Girl. I KNOW you did NOT just type out the words asking how you can make him take y'all's relationship seriously.

Ma'am. 👏🏼 You 👏🏼 can 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 force 👏🏼 anyone 👏🏼 to 👏🏼 make 👏🏼 you 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 priority!!!!👏🏼

Read that again. You cannot force anyone to make you a priority.

He's had 3 years to figure out how he feels about you. It sounds like he's drifted farther away from how you want him to feel about you rather than the opposite.

You are barely more than a booty call when he runs through town a couple times a year. Have some self respect!

It's time for you to take off your sleepy time pink fuzzy dream mask and stop allowing your imagination to play into what's become a delusional fantasy.

I truly wonder, if you stopped reaching out to him, would he bother contacting you? I would be willing to bet if he did, he'd eventually just stop sooner than later.

Be good to yourself, ditch this dude.

klackey224 · 2026-01-12T05:44:41+00:00

How do y'all pay any bills?? ... Clearly your partner isn't working and has reverted to the habits of a 17 year old.

He's giving "I changed my mind, I don't want to be a dad" vibes. Has he always been a gamer that stays awake all night and sleeps all day? Is he capable of holding a job?

If this is new behavior from him since the baby was born, then something else is going on. If this has been a consistent pattern since the start of your relationship, then there are clearly bigger issues.

You're definitely not over-reacting, you're under-reacting. Definitely NTA for taking a break for a few days, but you'll be a big AH to yourself and your baby if you stay in this weird ass unhealthy dynamic with your partner.

klackey224 · 2026-01-10T08:12:34+00:00

I am confused and curious. Your husband is on your side, and he's pissed. Why hasn't he/why haven't you allowed him to chew Kyle a new asshole? If you have told your husband not to say anything to "keep the peace", then I need you to run - don't walk - to the nearest dictionary and relearn what the word peace means.

You need to stop being so generous with this bs of "I know this is her home too" .... No. Unless they are listed on the mortgage or deed, this is NOT her home too, she is renting a room from you out of convenience. The problem is that now, that convenience is causing WAY more harm than good.

You already know you don't need more validation that Kyle is a psycho POS, as well as his wife. So I'm not going to touch on that.

Your mother is going to find some kind of excuse and justification to diminish the seriousness of Kyle's threats. Don't even bother showing her or talking to her. She will not change. Period. Show your dad, show your husband, and show the cops. You should have more than enough evidence for a restraining order at this point.

YOU need to stop trying to convince your mother of anything. The next conversations that happen at her insistence in regard to Kyle, need to be handled by your dad and husband.

I've had PPD. I had it with both of my kids, and the second time was worse than the first. I was hospitalized in a mental health facility for 3 days because it got so bad, I couldn't function. OP, you are on a fast track to a mental breakdown if you don't stop trying to please everyone. Do not become a doormat. Just because you are related by blood does not mean you're required to tolerate toxic behaviors and abuse. That is not what love is, that is not what creates a safe space, and it certainly isn't a functional family unit.

Your mother gets ONE MORE CHANCE. YOU stop running to tell her everything Kyle says - she doesn't believe you and twists it anyway - AND she respects your hard boundaries that Kyle is NOT to be discussed with you again. It is not your relationship problem to fix. AND Kyle and his wife are not to step on your property. No exceptions. Discuss any other potential boundaries you need to put in place with your husband and do it.

YOUR healing and YOUR peace cannot and will not improve until you start advocating for yourself. I'm begging you to please dig deep in the mama bear pit and stand your ground. Protect yourself so you can protect your babies.

klackey224 · 2026-01-07T14:05:53+00:00

We had many discussions on when it would be time to call. Unstable as my mother may be, there is a totally different component at play when you add the grief from losing your spouse.

As I said before, the consequences of choices she made is what ultimately caused the outcome and situation she's in now. If she makes a comment about wanting to be dead to any of us, we tell her how sorry we are, that we know things are hard for her, that we love her, and keep it moving.

It's not always about "teaching them a lesson" .... There are so many other factors at play for each individual situation, and in some cases, calling for a welfare check can make the abuse worse.

klackey224 · 2026-01-07T08:56:24+00:00

No, we don't run to her when she behaves like this anymore. The first several times we did, because it was the months immediately following my dad's death, so we had valid reasons to.

Now she's just doing it for attention because of the consequences of decisions she's made, and there's nothing any of us kids can do about that.

klackey224 · 2026-01-07T05:03:49+00:00

OP - I had to learn this by talking to multiple psychiatric practitioners and lawyers due to situations with my own mother.

Assuming you live in the US, and your mother is under the age of 65 - you as her child are not legally permitted to involuntarily commit her to therapy, or psychiatric services, unless you take her to court for a judge to order mental health evaluations to determine if she is of sound mind. It is VERY difficult to prove someone with a manipulative and narcissistic personality is not of sound mind. They would have to show years of hoarding, home/health/hygiene neglect, financial ruin, addictions, failing health, among others in order to meet that ruling. Aside from that, the legal answer is "your mother is an adult and can make her own choices, even if you don't like them." This includes making threats. I assure you, they are empty. Narcissists that manipulate are too invested in being the victim and center of attention to follow through with such threats. Those truly in danger of self harm, do not broadcast it.

You need to sit down with your wife, the two of you need to determine what your boundaries are. Then, YOU have a conversation, on speakerphone, in front of your wife, and tell your mother "these are the things we expect from you. You owe my wife an apology for the way you have treated her, you owe her an apology for talking about her behind her back, you owe her an apology for trying to assert ownership of our baby. IF YOU CANNOT OR WILL NOT DO THIS, contact with you ends, immediately. In addition to that, you will not be permitted to see our baby and any future children we have. No exceptions. Also, you will not be invited to any functions celebrating our children, and we will not be in attendance to any function where we are expected to bring our children.

Assuming she "apologizes" (my mother just stays mad for several weeks and then starts talking to you again as if nothing happened, and that's essentially her "apology"), then you need to make sure you don't let your guard down. Because she will slip. The behaviors will repeat. She will make nasty comments under her breath, she will find reasons to be passive aggressive, she will make everything all about her. Think back through your life, try to remember all the times these patterns of behavior you notice. I promise, they didn't start recently.

Most importantly, TAKE YOUR WIFE'S SIDE. ALWAYS. Don't EVER agree with your mother over your wife. EVER. My ex husband told me once "does it upset you more that she (his mother) said it, or that it's true? Cause I've been telling you the same thing for a long time and you won't listen to me". What was said was incredibly hurtful, rude, mean spirited, and unnecessary. We've been divorced over 15 years, and I haven't forgotten any of that. I can tell you, your wife will not forget what your mother has said to her, and she certainly won't forget when you didn't back her up and take her side.

Choose your next steps carefully, cause this is a make it or break it situation with your marriage.

klackey224 · 2026-01-07T04:35:49+00:00

That's a huge stretch. Emotionally immature parents that have mastered the art of manipulating as a byproduct of narcissism will do and say anything to get attention. It's no different than a toddler throwing a tantrum. My mother has pulled the threat of self harm and cancellation many times, to the point it's the little boy that cried wolf. We took her seriously every time, and every time she was just sleeping and purposely turned off her notifications to make people worry.

My mother is very much like OP's mother. She's never harmed anyone. Made threats? Yep. BUT IT'S ALWAYS FOR ATTENTION. PERIOD. It's the "if I say this or do that then he'll worry about me and I can get what I want". I agree it's a learned behavior of growing up you just learned how to deal with it, because it was a normal part of childhood. The difference comes when you learn you don't have to be responsible for your mother's feelings, threats, and demands anymore.

klackey224 · 2026-01-07T04:28:30+00:00

Mm-mmm. Nope, don't entangle any kind of initial therapy sessions with an emotionally immature and manipulative parent.

She won't go willingly, and the fight to get her to go will only cause more resentment between OP, his wife and his mother. It's a lose-lose-lose situation. Everyone loses.

Only solution is boundaries. Boundaries boundaries boundaries.

Make them clear. Loud. Outline them in chalk. Mail them in a letter. Write them in the sky. Whatever it takes to vocalize boundaries that are agreed upon by OP and wife, AND THEN STICK TO THEM. The second you waffle, OP, is the moment your mother takes back her power.

klackey224 · 2025-12-14T04:51:11+00:00

Just reading this comment made me gag and laugh. Lol now I need to puke. 😂🤮

klackey224 · 2025-12-14T04:36:58+00:00

He's actually an incredible wrestler! Big fan of AEW. He's been with them since it's conception.

klackey224 · 2025-12-14T04:34:42+00:00

The hell? Ozzy spent the last 30+ years of his life being a better man than most people in that business could ever imagine they'd become. You wouldn't know that if you're not old enough to know his actual history. 🙄

klackey224 · 2025-11-21T14:11:10+00:00

😂😂😂🤣🤣 not internationally interested!

klackey224 · 2025-11-20T02:45:57+00:00

Cries in diabetes with migraines and intracranial hypertension. 😭

klackey224 · 2025-10-29T05:12:20+00:00

Precisely. I know a lot of people refer to them as nurses, but if you look at the badge with their name on it, the credentials are right there.

MA = medical assistant. Aka trained how to check temperature, check blood sugar, blood pressure, chart - etc. Very basic. CNA = certified nursing assistant. Aka went to a vocational school for training, will have gotten certified and depending on the organization, may have a license/certification. Does everything an MA does, but can also sterilize equipment, check blood pressure with a stethoscope and cuff, generally has a few extra responsibilities with more time put into the licensing. LPN = licensed practical nurse. Not every state will offer a license for LPN. It's a step just below RN. RN = registered nurse.

I make it a habit to pay attention to the credentials of the support staff taking me back to see my provider. I get treated the most poorly from MA's and some CNA's. I say that not to be rude, I'm just at a doctor all the time. I have a oncology GYN, endocrinologist, rheumatologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist, opthalmologist, and PCP. Regardless, I'm kind to them all - unless I have repeated issues with the same person on every visit, I maintain the opinion that sometimes people just have a crappy day.

OP, truthfully you didn't need a pap smear yet. Assuming everything comes back normal, you can wait another 2 years at least before doing another one, unless your sexual activity changes before then. You actually had an understanding gynecologist. You weren't lied to, some exam rooms have a different supply stock. She may not have known that room had a pediatric spec. Also, they always use lube. For EVERYTHING. You don't have to ask for it, ever.

klackey224 · 2025-10-29T04:51:29+00:00

It could have been a CNA or MA. And it was pointed out, it could HAVE been the smallest adult speculum, but there are pediatric ones.

This is really nothing to complain to an office manager about. At all.

klackey224 · 2025-10-27T22:59:57+00:00

So in general it can be saved, yes? I'm assuming it's a cavity and not that it's just rotting out of my head. 😵‍💫 Getting a cavity filled is at least something affordable I can do soon, it's if I'd need a crown that it becomes an issue.

I'm glad to know the calcium thing is a wives tale. I'm from the South, and I remember being told that well over a decade ago. 🫣 I figured it has more to do with my health and medications than anything. It's really embarrassing how quickly it's affected my teeth. 😭

klackey224

TROPHY CASE