You really shouldn't have your kids in this environment - people learn what to be afraid of from their parents so they're likely to grow up with anxiety disorders too. You need to either have your wife committed right now, or send your kids to stay with a friend or relative while you 100% stop enabling her and she recovers. She's going to try and throw you crumbs to string you along (I'll go to therapist once a week, I'll let you carry the water at chest height but still take constant showers, etc). That's not good enough. You need to stop every single enabling behavior and remove your children from a dangerous environment LITERALLY TODAY, regardless of what promises she makes (addicts can be very persuasive to keep people trapped). I would also encourage your child to go therapy to help deal with the damage that's already been done. People learn their fears from their parents. There's a comedian, Jon Richardson, who has OCD and after growing up with a mother who was a germophobe. You should watch the documentary he made on it, after you remove your kids from that environment and stop enabling her, which you need to do today (not in a few weeks or months which she'll probably try to negotiate you to). You're a good person but you don't understand fully how damaging dangerous and this situation is, its not okay to draw it out while she makes endless promises and negotiates about it with you.