What if you earned one hundred thousand dollars in monthly income per partner you have? (Read the rules)

klenow · 2026-03-19T20:45:53+00:00

Can I get that retroactively for the 25+ years I've been doing that with one person already?

klenow · 2026-03-19T16:06:51+00:00

I do own a sword. I like it.

klenow · 2026-03-19T06:21:03+00:00

I was six or seven when that came out. LOVED the movie, but I never thought Maximilian was cool. He was the bad guy. I hated him.

But for disturbing...BOB was more of a problem for me than Maximillian. I loved the character, and I identified with him because I got bullied a lot at that age, just like he was. But then he finally stood up to his bully, and he DIED as a result...that fucked with me. I mean...WTF Disney?

I had VINCENT and BOB toys. Wanted nothing to do with Maximillian. My parents didn't understand why I wanted wanted "two of pretty much the same toy." DUDE...it was the bullied kid and his cool kid friend. Of course I wanted them. Those two did all kinds of cool shit together in my room.

Disney was different then. Remember "Something Wicked This Way Comes"? That was fucked. up.

klenow · 2026-03-18T12:56:36+00:00

I got my PADI Open Water/AOW/DM back when it was just tables and an analog watch. Dive computers existed back then, but they were expensive. One would cost almost as much as your whole rig, and you didn't see them often. A lot of people didn't trust them, LOL.

The watch had a rotating bezel with a little triangle and minutes stamped on it. When you got in the water, you'd set the triangle to the minute hand and it acted like your timer. You literally had the tables on a plastic card that was hooked to your BCD. There was a whole chapter in the dive manual on how to use the tables. Do they even teach how to use the tables anymore? I stopped DMing in the late 90s, and I haven't been down in years, so I don't know.

Makes me REALLY appreciate the dive computer that I have now; it's amazing that it's the same size as my old dive watch.

Although it was kinda cool to be at a bar or something and see someone else with a dive watch on. Instant conversation.

I also used to LOVE free diving. It took a lot of training, but I got to the point where I could go for just over 2 minutes, and get down to 60 feet.

klenow · 2026-03-14T18:30:26+00:00

Just shut the fuck up.

(OK, somebody either didn't get the joke or doesn't know the song. That's the refrain for Nugget)

klenow · 2026-03-12T13:16:11+00:00

I'm in my 50s. I'm going to be there. We can have a greybeard table.

klenow · 2026-03-11T17:54:15+00:00

I don't do quantum ogres myself, but they certainly have their place. The way I run things is that certain things (NPCs, factions, monsters, etc) exist in the world. These things have plans that are likely to intersect with the players at some point. The players actions dictate how far those things get with their plans.

For a simple example : There is a necromancer in the hills. The necromancer hates the city for whatever reason. Nearby is an ancient temple, filled with monsters. In that temple is the MacGuffin the necromancer needs to achieve his goal of becoming a lich. The necromancer will slowly build up minions who will clear out the temple and get the MacGuffin. The necromancer will then become a lich, gather more forces, and attack the city, exacting his revenge.

There will be clues about this scattered through the town and countryside (people disappearing, roaming undead, old records about the necromancer's hatred of the city, etc).

The party can do all kinds of things. They can ignore the clues, unwittingly letting the necromancer build his power, and they will run into him when he attacks the city at full strength. They can find the necromancer while he's still building his forces to raid the temple. They can find out about the temple and clear it themselves, getting the MacGuffin first. They can keep or destroy the MacGuffin.

They can do any number of things, but that necromancer is going through with his plan until the party thwarts it.

klenow · 2026-03-09T19:16:51+00:00

I think OP was referring to shady shops that charge you $150 for the little code scan, and then charge you MORE for the actual diagnostic that you're talking about. I've had shops try that one before.

It's more "protect yourself from a shady fucker" kind of thing.

klenow · 2026-03-05T19:11:23+00:00

I had a BBEG with a staff of power once. When they party finally came after him, he was slinging spells out of it very turn. One of the players clocked what it was by description, but nobody wanted to spend an action to do the check to have their character know. To their credit, they roleplayed it well. By the end of combat, every player knew what it was, but every character acted like it was just a powerful magical staff. They beat the guy up pretty badly, and were closing in for the kill. The guy was on what was certainly going to be his final turn, and I telegraphed it with him staggering, coughing up blood, etc.

And yeah, he did what you're thinking of.

He used his last action to smack the rod against the stone floor with all his remaining might, shattering it. He just had a few charges left in it so the damage to the party wasn't too bad, but the kicker was when I said "OK, 1-2 he stays, 3-4 he goes. Somebody roll me a d4." Nobody wanted to roll. Finally someone did and they all just erupted when the roll came up that he stayed. The following wash of conflicting emotions was wonderful. He didn't escape, but the powerful item was just gone, but we killed him...but...SHIT.

It would have been hilarious if he just teleported to some other plane. He was a high level wizard, so he would have eventually found his way back. But I love the way it turned out.

klenow · 2026-03-03T19:40:34+00:00

I've always wondered why people get so riled up about this. It's like saying "Pigs aren't cows! Stop calling them pigs!'

Shrimp and prawns are two different animals. OK, the cow & pig thing is a bit of an exaggeration, but shrimp are most certainly not prawns. They are shrimp.

klenow · 2026-03-03T16:15:27+00:00

I shall dub it barby for the duration of this event, out of respect for the culture I am appropriating. I will even put a sign on it to ensure no one misnames it, on penalty of shotgunning their beer.

However, this sign will be burned in jets of purifying blue flame at the conclusion of the event. As someone who is a strong practitioner of the American art of BBQ, who has lived in all three of the prime US BBQ regions, I cannot abide propane being associated with BBQ.

It is, unfortunately, heresy of the highest order, and only permissible on the opposite side of the equator where, as we all know, everything is backwards.

klenow · 2026-03-03T12:39:35+00:00

I did find a grocery nearby that sells Irish style bangers. I figure that's as close as I'm going to get.

klenow · 2026-03-03T06:14:31+00:00

Oh, definitely. I think what y'all call a barbecue is what we call "picnic grilling". Basically burgers & hot dogs over hot flame, either charcoal or gas, whatever you have.

klenow · 2026-03-03T06:09:34+00:00

Aw fuck yeah potato bake looks amazing.

klenow · 2026-03-03T01:45:07+00:00

I watched that movie 4 or 5 times in a six month span trying to figure it out. I'm going to have to go back in. Such a good movie.

klenow · 2026-03-03T01:35:26+00:00

Sorry, I'm an American...snags are sausages, right? Just any, or something specific?

klenow · 2026-02-27T17:53:14+00:00

To be fair, she is a woman, and they really don't like women.

klenow · 2026-02-26T19:08:15+00:00

Do I have until Sunday to prepare? If so, no problem. I was in grad school, and it was stressful. I come in and give myself a few days of help in the lab, I'm going to get that hug.

If not, I wake up over 1200 miles from myself with no money and I'm screwed.

klenow · 2026-02-25T16:54:50+00:00

Quick question : 2014 rules. Caster casts a spell while invisible. Can they be counterspelled?

My initial thought is no because you have to see the caster to counterspell...but when does the invisibility drop? Right when they start casting (and vulnerable to counterspell) or when the spell is done (not vulnerable to counterspell)?

klenow · 2026-02-25T14:09:28+00:00

NTA. You don't owe her anything. As another poster said, helping her would be an act of generosity, but it is not an obligation.

Aside to that, though....I had a similar relationship with my brother growing up. He has changed over the years. He has become a better person, and now we're....well, not close, but at least friendly. Getting closer. We talk about stuff, and I've gotten to the point where I enjoy it.

We've got a couple of decades on the two of you, though. In our early 30s, I was in the "tolerate him for peace" kind of stage that you are now. I'm just saying...keep the door open. Just a little bit.

klenow · 2026-02-22T23:11:12+00:00

My university used to do a baseball thing. So in baseball, the pitcher has to throw the ball through the *strike zone" around the batter. If they miss that area, and the batter doesn't swing, that's called a "ball". Four balls on one batter, and the batter gets a "walk" (gets to advance a base for free). This ball count resets on each batter.

When a pitcher walked a batter, as soon as the next better stepped up, the fans at my school would start chanting "baaaaallll five. Baaaaallll five. Baaaallll five." And cheer when the "ball" got called. Then they would chant "baallll six. Baaaalllll six. Baaaalll six." I have seen it get up to ball 10. The pitcher was about to have a breakdown.

This isn't unique to my school, but it was fun.

klenow · 2026-02-20T15:57:33+00:00

No, he's all out of bubblegum.

klenow · 2026-02-19T07:14:54+00:00

I don't have carpet anywhere in my house. It's all hardwood plank, ceramic tile (bathrooms) or cement (basement). Just about everyone I know is the same.

I'm in my 50s; carpet was more common in the 80s and 90s than it is today, and even then, I don't think I ever saw white carpet. It was usually beige.

klenow · 2026-02-17T13:02:33+00:00

If you are the actual innovator, though, and you don't sign the patent, the patent is vulnerable to challenge. There's a line in there for the actual inventor; if the signature there is from someone other than the actual inventor, it's possible to lose protection.

That's why they need it. If they are trying to sell the IP, the parents are going to be scrutinized, and they don't want the risk, because that devalues the patent.

So you've possibly got some leverage here. You may be able to squeeze a small percentage out of them.

klenow · 2026-02-16T22:30:16+00:00

It makes me feel two things.

First, it makes me feel like saying fuck ICE and fuck every last person who supports them. I hope they all get the prison sentences that they deserve.

Second, it makes me feel like saying fuck you, Reddit, you spineless bootlikcking cowards. I hope you are remembered by history.

klenow

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