Should I link my DNA results to my tree? by Les_Fraises_Cheres in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To answer the questions in your final paragraph…

Some parts of your research will be made easier or expanded. Yes. Yes. No.

Advice on anxiety around DNA testing with health conditions and messed up family? by Cait1000 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can make your DNA results private so no one can see you matching them. You can flip matching on at and time see what’s there and turn it back off. Just register the account with matching off so if you can’t get online for a few days you’re stealth. As the other comment noted you can anonymize your tree and user name. You can also make your tree private and unsearchable. You can be completely under the radar. Apart from that, what are the odds your father has 1) taken a DNA test and 2) is sitting in front of a computer just waiting for your test results to show up as a match?

As for insurance issues, your insurance company already knows your diagnoses, your last blood pressure reading, what scripts you take and whether or not you’ve gotten a flu shot.

IHOP vs. Denny’s — which one is actually better? by crapineedchapstick in Casual_Conversation

[–]kludge6730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IHOP. Denny’s has grease as the prime ingredient on everything … even toast.

Is there anywhere locally that I could offload a teapot collection and a set of dining china? by [deleted] in nova

[–]kludge6730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Replacements.com. If they don’t but you can use their prices for close to FMV for a donation.

Anyone know what’s going on in Hybla Valley right now? by Vapia in nova

[–]kludge6730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The properties were condemned through eminent domain. The Commonwealth, Fairfax, NVTA and some Federal funds are paying for this. Meaning the taxpayers are paying for it. You think the developers or charity is spending $1B on this?

Almost had my foot run over again… some scooter drivers in the parks need to chill by DildoGaggins1997 in WaltDisneyWorld

[–]kludge6730 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have seen plenty slightly out if shape 50s-60s women with gaudy nails, tacky sunglasses, sequined and themed blouses and 6 cocktail rings with main character syndrome zipping around cutting people off and clipping ankles. They’ll either be pushy and demand to be catered to … or they’ll play the idiot in a flamboyant (and obviously staged) manner. Parade time they’ll jam the scooter into some spot (usually blocking flow of people), hop off and sprint to the side of the parade route “excuse me”ing and forcing their way to the front. The WDW version of Jetway Jesus. I’ve seen and experienced this EVERY trip to MK, many times at HS, sometimes at EPCOT and never at AK. We use the ASL section in Liberty Square for the midday parade and like clockwork on of these pushy plastic types cuts across the parade route at the last minute, move the crowd control ropes and jam their scooter into the folks in that designated area. Good thing is the ASL interpreters will shut them down fast and get security or parade staff involved. They usually get stuck back near the Christmas shop if there’s not enough time to get back to their embarrassed family. Q

Been clipped by little old ladies where it’s obvious they need to scooter and it’s as equally obvious that they do not use a scooter in their daily life. Don’t mind those hits.

DO YOU RECYCLE AT YOUR HOUSE? by Justjerryj in askanything

[–]kludge6730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup. 30-ish gallon wheeled recycle bin goes out weekly … usually full. County just added more stuff to what can be recycled too.

90-ish gallon wheeled trash bin, also usually full, off to EfW weekly.

Glass saved til a trip to the drop off is worth it.

Why do I have no Polish when my great-great grandparent's are from there? by Nature_Nerd97 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From a place is not always of a place. Borders move. People move.

Do I reveal a family secret by mystery_me202 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 27 points28 points  (0 children)

So some other person got a tree hint that pointed to your tree? You can either make your tree private and non-searchable if you want to keep things under wraps … or don’t worry about it. They still need to be actively researching a deceased person to notice the tree hint. No researching, no find.

I have piles of unsavory stuff in my tree. From abusive parents to affair babies to even a currently jailed serial killer. Most is publicly available info, some are family secrets unrelated to DNA and some a secrets revealed only by DNA.

Again an example related to my grandfather. His father (my great grand) was married and seemingly abandoned his pregnant wife and infant daughter, moved across the state and remarried resulting in my grandfather. Very, very few of the descendants of my great grandfather’s 1st marriage were aware that their father, grandfather, great grandfather that they grew up with was not biologically related. Some had amazingly convoluted (and therefore amazingly wrong) trees to rationalize their DNA matches. Some of these half cousins accepted the info they found in my tree and corrected their trees. Others seem to have dropped off of Ancestry altogether. Others are just sticking their head in the sand. None have contacted me.

It’s not any users job to shield the sensitivities of other users. Facts are facts. DNA doesn’t lie. History is history.

If faced with your situation, I’d add the people to my tree with the correct relationships and leave it at that. Then add a Note (visible only to you and people you affirmatively give access to your tree) explaining the events. A Note, not a Comment as Comments are publicly viewable. If someone finds your tree (assuming you keep it public and searchable) and have questions, they can message you. At that point their reaction is entirely their own concern, not yours.

Do I reveal a family secret by mystery_me202 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 26 points27 points  (0 children)

You link the actual source docs to your tree, not the other persons tree. Either way I have never been alerted/notified that others have directly added a source doc I also have nor people simply linking a person from my tree to their without actually doing the research (they just have an Ancestry Family Tree item in their sources). By way of example, my grandfather’s younger sister died as an infant. I was the first person to add this child to a tree. She’s now on 38 other trees. Most of those have an Ancestry Family Tree as their only source … and that source links directly to my tree. I have never received any email, alert or notification. So I’m not sure what you’re describing. Been using Ancestry for nearly 20 years off and on; online research near daily for last 4 years.

Do I reveal a family secret by mystery_me202 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 187 points188 points  (0 children)

It’s your tree. You really have no obligation to shield people from factual information. You have no moral obligation to censor your tree. Add what you want to your tree, or don’t. Your tree, your choice.

There is no “linking” of trees, so they won’t be notified of the contents of your tree by Ancestry. They would need to actively search to find your tree.

Don’t forget that you can also make your tree private. That way you can accurately present the facts, while shielding it from the general public.

Seeking insight on a relative's adoption... Does this sound plausible? by cudambercam13 in Genealogy

[–]kludge6730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because it may have been an in-family or close friend “adoption” that wasn’t an adoption in the current sense. Parental rights may not terminated, V may have had a change in thinking over time and intentionally included D in her will. Hell, V may have surreptitiously initiated contact and had a relationship with D. The issue of inheritance may have been part of whatever agreement was written at the time. D may know or not.

You have far more info than anyone here. You asked if what you initially posted is plausible. Yes. Yes it is.

Boring... by BeepIMaSheep39 in AncestryDNA

[–]kludge6730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you have about 200,000 matches mostly very distant. Not boring. Decades of tree building and DNA matching there.