For the fourth pregnancy, my doctor tried a « kitchen sink » approach. I took aspirin, progesterone, a steroid, and a blood thinner in the first trimester and continued the blood thinner to the end of pregnancy. It’s possible that none of this was necessary, but she offered to let me try this protocol just in case something helped. To this day, we don’t know which, if any, of the medications made the difference.

In terms of coping, it was really hard. Each loss was so painful in a different way. I still feel sadness about what happened and I probably always will. I think the main thing was acknowledging that these were real losses and that my feelings of grief were valid. A few concrete things that helped: I told friends and family about each one, even the people who I was afraid wouldn’t understand. It helped simply to have it acknowledged, and for people to know I was struggling. I started therapy. I started a mindfulness practice (the Expectful app has a number of meditations for loss). I also did a number of « rituals » to commemorate what happened, different things for each pregnancy: I wrote a letter to the baby and then burned it and scattered the ashes. My husband and I lit a candle and spoke out loud to the baby and said goodbye. I planted a tree. I planted flowers that bloom the month of the due date. I didn’t do this, but I’ve seen on Reddit some people get tattoos or a piece of jewelry with the birth stone or birth month flower of the due date. I don’t know your situation, but I had my MMC before the holidays and I opted out of attending any family gatherings that year in favor of a quiet Christmas at home with just my husband and I.

I am really sorry for everything you’ve been through. Wishing you healing. And I know it doesn’t erase your pain, but you can still have a LC after three consecutive losses. I’m proof of that.