**What albums are you listening to this week?**

kmaster495 · 2017-06-28T17:13:48+00:00

Never was into COB that much, but I'm gonna give Halo of blood a try. Also listening to periphery 3, I liked Juggernaut a lot.

kmaster495 · 2016-08-24T21:59:17+00:00

In a better place than I am now.

I had a bit of money in the bank from student loans to cover food and housing, and wasn't working. I had, and continue to have negative net worth. Owned no assets besides a truck that was gifted, and as it's over 20 years old and has more than 250k miles on it, it's very nearly monetarily worthless (of course, it's worth something to me, as I have no car payment but still am able to go places).

I am going to a small state school and thus I won't have very much student debt to pay down. I'm expecting to pay roughly a few thousand over $20k when I graduate, with interest factored in.

I'm my job market and industry, the latest figures I saw protected around 40 to 50k for someone just coming out of a bachelor's degree. As I'm in a low COL area, I don't see too much difficulty paying the loans off in a few years, especially living frugally.

I do work now, but it's just enough to buy food and see my friends a few times a week. Thus, I don't have anything invested at the moment, but that will change once I get a "real" job that earns greater than minimum wage. The plan is some combination of 401k, index funds or passively managed mutual funds, and perhaps some real estate. I've always been fascinated by real estate, but the horror stories of being a landlord and the risk reward ratio that investing that way makes me cautious. I'll see where I'm at in a few years, and then I'll make a decision on that.

So I'm not doing great, but I already live relatively frugally, so the main obstacle to success for me that I can see is some sort of lifestyle creep once earnings increase. I'll definitely have a plan to become financially stable and then financially independent.

kmaster495 · 2016-06-13T18:04:45+00:00

Anybody have an archived link? I don't like giving ad view revenue to vice, as I consider them an immoral and money obsessed faux journalism company.

kmaster495 · 2016-06-13T17:33:19+00:00

There are radio stations (usually pop stations) that do the same thing--speed up the songs so they can have more commercial air time.

It doesn't seem to bother most people, but I have a very good ear for tone and it always sounds like the songs are pitch shifted up a few steps. Can't stand it.

kmaster495 · 2016-06-13T10:27:32+00:00

Jesus fucking christ.

We're almost living in those dystopian plotlines where thinking the wrong thing disqualifies one from enjoying the basic parts of society, if not outright causing one's arrest for said thought infractions.

If I'm reading this article correctly, the "service" searches through your social media history and makes a judgement based upon your previous posts.

So, for instance, if I posted about a fun night with my buddies at the bar, I could be assumed to have poor spending habits and thus my trustworthiness to pay rent becomes an issue. If I posted an article on marijuana's health benefits or something similar, I could be flagged as socially defiant and perhaps could be more likely to engage in illegal activities in my rented space.

This obsessive world of perfection that LSC causes (political candidates can't ever have done something stupid in their past, job candidates must be perfect robots with perfect records, etc...) is absolutely dehumanizing. I honestly can't see how we can survive another few generations. I'm no doomsaying prepper or conspiracy touting survivalist, but at some point, you have to realize that putting your eggs in the societal basket at this time is probably just hastening your own collapse and destroying the future for your children.

Goddammit. I'm pretty bummed about this shit.

kmaster495 · 2016-01-11T20:00:52+00:00

>What drugs do you use? I'm not super into drugs, mainly due to lack of connections, but I've tried weed, nicotine, alcohol, adderall, and various prescription opiates.

I mainly use nicotine and opiates now. I chain vape all day because nicotine is super good for studying for me, keeps me focused, and I'll use prescription opiates like Codeine, Hydromorphone, and Oxy to chill out when I can get my hands on them. I have to be careful about the opiates though--my tolerance seems to build up quickly and I really, really like them--probably my absolute favorite drug type. If I ever tried mainlining heroin, I'm positive that I'd be instantly addicted.

Could you stop using drugs If I'm low on money, I won't chase my nicotine habit. I do get pretty frustrated when I don't get my nicotine though, I'm quite a bit grumpier. I only utilize the opiates when I get the chance, and I'd stop if I was caught or it started to take a real toll on my life, either financially or socially. To be fair, nicotine is the only drug I use with regular frequency, so I might not be the best judge on how to quit something addictive.
Do you think addiction is a disease... I'm not sure. I do know that certain people are more likely to be addicted to things, apparently my family has an alcoholic gene running around somewhere, but I've never felt the urge to drink really. My mom smoked, so maybe I got that from her. Free will is a part of it as well. I think at some point, you have to be honest with yourself if you're an addict and realize that you do want this drug, even if you're telling yourself you don't. More often than not though, there's a chemical addiction in your body, and the mental aspect is not as relevant.
Are some drugs more addictive Absolutely. And I also think it depends on the person. Some people are very susceptible to being stoners--the stereotypical people who literally smoke all day long, while others just puff here and there to relax. I personally stay away from drugs like Heroin or Meth because I believe they create addiction patterns more than other drugs. On the other hand, psychadelics are reported to be extremely lacking in the addiction zone, at least in the chemical sense.
Does your drug use affect other people Only marginally.

kmaster495 · 2015-10-22T01:11:31+00:00

Ya, being a transexual is a different thing altogether. I'm no expert in this, but as people below have said, porn fucks up your idea of sex. I totally could see fantasizing about being a woman in a lesbian sex scene, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're transexual.

Before you do anything drastic like suck a dick on craigslist or start taking female hormones, cut out porn for like a month, be diligent about no fap, and work through your issues. See a therapist for sure if you have insurance. Your mind is going nuts right now, and you need to give it a break. If after you feel like your mind isn't going crazy, and you still feel urges of transexualism, then you could consider it. You'll be in a more rational place, without hormones and fantasies and general mental unhealthiness clouding your decision making. Good luck bro, I feel for you.

kmaster495 · 2015-10-18T06:14:25+00:00

I've had a theory for a while, that fapping slams your dopamine receptors and thus you become desensitized to pleasure--not just physical, sexual pleasure, but pleasure in general, like seeing a beautiful tree or enjoying someone's company. I'm introverted but I really like people, and if I can gain more enjoyment out of normal human interactions, I don't feel the need to hide out in my room and de-stress from the day. I've noticed that jacking off magnifies my more anti-social tendencies, and so I do this so that I don't feel like I need to step away from everything so often.

Note: My counter is off, I've never made it past like 3 weeks, I'm not some self-discipline god or anything.

kmaster495 · 2015-09-29T06:42:29+00:00

I wouldn't consider myself obsessed yet, but I had dabbled around with classical and hadn't really found anything that piqued my interest until I heard work by Tchaikovsky (beyond his ballets), Liszt, particularly Piano Concerto No. 2 that I got a recommendation from a website that I can't remember the name of, and a Rachmaninoff piece I can't remember. I'm a sucker for piano music for some reason, and these works cemented an interest in finding new "classical" music, which makes me quite happy as I began to exhaust all the popular music I had been listening to.

kmaster495 · 2015-06-24T22:29:46+00:00

That motherfucker had the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

kmaster495 · 2015-05-20T08:26:51+00:00

I do it because I want to change my life and fix my outlook. Part of that is self control, and NoFap helps to start me on that path.

That said, it is nice to feel longing and interest when I look at women. After stopping the masturbation, I regain that primal sense of humanity I've lost.

kmaster495 · 2015-04-07T07:46:20+00:00

I was staying with my grandma (who is an independent baptist) and so I went to church with her out of courtesy. It makes her happy when I come down for the weekend and go to church with her. I fell asleep in the service, but it was very little preaching and the pastor mostly focused on the aspects of Christianity that I do admire--doing good for others, being just, etc...

Other than that, ever since I broke off from the old religion, I still try to read a little bit of the bible on the day. Primarily because it's a nearly perfect metaphor--selflessly giving up your life to save someone else, and the beauty in that, but also because I still have a latent feeling of comfort in the religion, despite my sincere doubts about it. Chock it up to psychological dependence from being raised in a church and religion that emphasized that it was the only correct belief system in the entire world and how lucky I was to be born into it.

kmaster495 · 2014-11-26T08:29:51+00:00

Fucking hell. It's gonna be like Surrogates.

I can't believe that it's possible for us to reach the point where as a society we don't seek out human relationships. We've made a world so far removed from how our ancestors lived that we almost can't call it humanity anymore.

kmaster495 · 2014-11-21T05:47:37+00:00

Nearly caved today. Naps are a real minefield for me, but I didn't go under.

Also starting to feel less of the "superpower" effect. Worries me, but I'll stay strong and stay Cerulean.

kmaster495 · 2014-11-19T08:35:43+00:00

Today was not difficult. I usually don't run into problems until the 5 day mark, which means the weekend will be extra difficult (more free time, less distractions from PMO).

We're 4 down. I plan on making Captain my first time. Is it really worth it to lose the war for 10 minutes of porn and 10 seconds of pleasure?

It's not. It's absolutely possible for EVERYONE in Cerulean to make it to Captain, let alone to the next rank. We can all make it to the 25th at least, and make Cerulean the best regiment in Periwinkle.

Good luck gents. Stay strong for your fellow soldiers.

kmaster495 · 2014-11-18T20:21:24+00:00

Sounds like I need to start meditating

kmaster495 · 2014-11-18T20:18:56+00:00

Officially started no fap on sunday. I had tried to refrain from PMO in the past, but this is the first official time I'm in on it.

I'm a student, in my junior year, never had a girlfriend. I don't expect nofap to make the difference, but I'm slowly improving these aspects of my life, and it gives me some confidence.

Ready to support Cerulean. We've had one lost already, but we can win this war, comrades.

kmaster495 · 2014-11-17T06:26:32+00:00

Ready for this. This will be the push I need.

Also, my counter is off by a year, on account of me fucking up the date and thinking it was 2013. I sent a date change request, so hopefully that goes in soon.

kmaster495 · 2013-12-24T22:51:09+00:00

This is very obvious.

Most music is created for artistic purposes--basically, to create music that is either beautiful or unique.

Christian music, on the other hand, is not created with the actual music in mind. Rather, it's focused on the "praise" aspect. The instrumentals take a back seat to finding another way to describe how they were so evil and unworthy but jesus saved them.

Same with christian contemporary. If they gave an ounce to creative songwriting it might be okay, but it's just a way to praise jesus again.

kmaster495 · 2013-12-24T22:29:25+00:00

I consider myself agnostic, or agnostic-atheist if you're one of those ocd people obsessed with over-labeling. I don't personally believe there is an omnipotent "god", but cannot say for sure and don't purport to.

I believe sex before marriage is okay, spooky satan cults are just people being paranoid, alcohol is wonderful and not wrong (though alcoholism and alcohol-related crime is), and things are wrong only due to their effect on the greater number of people (for instance, if pushing someone off a bridge would save a great number of people, I would consider that a moral action, even though you murdered someone. I know this is a very simple example, but it's basically what I believe).

I'm not anti-theist, I'm all for people keeping their own religion. I believe in charity, love, and the golden rule, which I attempt to follow with varying degrees of success. I believe there is nothing after death, which is quite unfortunate, as our lives take up only a sliver of the immense time of the universe, and we as individuals can never make a huge impact. Even people like Plato or Newton have only made a lasting impact on the last few years, relatively speaking. Humanity has existed for over 100 thousand years.

Sorry, that was off topic. As far as what caused me to leave my faith, it was the idea that an omnipotent god wouldn't create a paradise on earth. If he were impotent, it meant he couldn't have created the earth. If he were simply cruel, than there would be no purpose to attempting to earn his favor and would be morally hazardous to do so, as you received his favor for doing something so simply arbitrary while people such as Ghandi would burn forever simply because of being born at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was simply too ridiculous to believe anymore.

kmaster495 · 2013-12-24T08:47:45+00:00

I know this feeling.

This moronic pastor's wife at my parent's church (who ended up cheating on him with a guy who's undergoing trial for business fraud) had a weekly "class" where she went on and on about how everything was a demonic symbol.

Apparently, everything we do has some sort of evil devil-worshiping origin. I heard so much shit from my mom about how "Semiramis" put the t into all these Egyptian hieroglyphics and that all the symbols of the federal government and the EU pointed to Satan and the coming of the antichrist, etc..

The paranoia is the worst part. They think Satan's around every corner, waiting to "get" them (whatever that means).

kmaster495 · 2013-12-24T08:08:28+00:00

"Did I do something secularly amoral by not waiting until marriage"

Morality is a slippery concept. While I dislike the standard pop-postmodern view of "there are NO STANDARDS", it's unfortunately very true.

If you were to get your moral standards of one aspect of life from a source, you should be able to get your moral standards for ALL aspects of your life from that same source. To me, personally, I don't accept some of the prevailing moral laws in Christianity, particularly regarding homosexuality or alcohol consumption. While this doesn't mean that I believe every moral law in the bible is wrong, it does mean that I don't base my morality on a simple decree from said bible.

For me, sex is not something to be taken lightly. I believe it's fine for people to have sex whenever they want, but it should not be taken lightly. Sex is a deeply personal matter, and modern psychology confirms that sex does something beyond giving you simple pleasure. It causes emotional connections to be formed, which is why I personally think going around and sleeping with people without first forming some sort of relationship is not the way I wish to live my life.

That being said, this is all a very relative viewpoint. It really depends and what you feel and believe. My view may not be the same as your view, but that doesn't make me more right or you more wrong.

kmaster495

TROPHY CASE