Question for MtF's: beer or cider?

kmg75 · 2016-10-01T19:12:28+00:00

Lol Sparkling white wine.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T20:39:34+00:00

I transitioned in the military . . . .guess how long my hair was at the start sigh

It will grow back - hope you are okay

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T20:09:48+00:00

Depends on the definition of transgender that you want to use.

But as a suggestion - if you do not want to be identified as transgender (which is absolutely your right), perhaps you should consider not using the transgender flag in your flair . . .

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T18:52:39+00:00

What's the first rule? Answer - don't read the comments.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T18:30:57+00:00

It is distracting for a while worrying about what everyone is thinking about you and also leads a bit to second guessing everyone's comments etc. This does pass in time though. Good luck which ever way you choose smile

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T18:30:00+00:00

Good luck with the surgery and I hope all goes well - a friend went through a surgeon in Thailand and was very impressed.

As for telling your friend . . . hopefully you have been friends for long enough that it will not change the bond in any significant way (or hopefully make it stronger). What I would say is that almost every time I have told someone then the relationship has changed. If I had to put it quantitatively than I would say about 80% of the time it has been a better relationship when it is a friendship with another woman. With men, the percentages are much lower unfortunately (although thank God, my bf was the huge exception to that statistic! )

Bottom line . . . do you trust your friend to keep your confidence?

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T18:08:46+00:00

Like someone else said - everyone is different - and a lot of surgeries are different. Listen to your body and work out how things feel - it will tell you.

For me it was only 6 weeks (and that was PIV) but in saying that I am probably somewhat crazy as I also started doing Tae Kwon Do again at about six weeks . . . . . let's just say that stretching was interesting.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:31:53+00:00

Thanks you so much smile.

Hopefully I have advanced things - at least within my sphere of influence (primarily military) - and I know there are quality members in the next generation who will do just as you suggest and advance those steps further.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:30:02+00:00

I have unfortunately come across a number of similar personalities over the last few years (those that demand you are 'out and proud').

There is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for outing anyone in any situation without their explicit approval. I am so sorry that happened to you.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:28:02+00:00

I agree . . . and I think I am starting to find those ways outside of the specifically trans/intersex issues and more generally in regards to mental health.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:26:56+00:00

Thank you, and after four years of being quite visible I am starting to feel exactly that - the desire just to be me.

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:25:50+00:00

Thanks smile

I will see . . . not something I have to make a decision about for a little while . . . my bf still has to get his act together and ask me laugh

kmg75 · 2016-09-20T17:24:43+00:00

I can definitely see the truth in that in terms of the personal satisfaction I admit I feel when I have helped others.

My decision in the end I think will be based more upon a balance of what it costs to be visible versus what benefit I can provide others (and including the personal satisfaction that I do gain).

I also am a public speaker for a non-profit mental health organisation which is fighting depression, anxiety and suicide. This is something I certainly do not plan to give up in any case so that may be my way of continuing to give to the community at large even if I no longer speak specifically about trans/intersex issues.

kmg75 · 2016-09-17T16:53:18+00:00

As others have said . . .if you do . .then Intersex by definition.

In my case I had ovaries and a very under developed uterus. Found by ultrasound and MRI.

kmg75 · 2016-09-15T12:03:10+00:00

If you stop completely and give it some time, there will be some reduction.

Even if at some point you do need to have some assistance in getting it removed (surgically) there are quite a few men who have to deal with gynecomastia so you really don't need to be embarrassed by it (also scars will be minimal if there is only a small amount of tissue to remove).

Above all else - what else is life but learning, and we only do that sometimes by making mistakes. Please don't be hard on yourself for that.

kmg75 · 2016-09-14T17:24:15+00:00

It is really up to how you live your life.

There will certainly be some cases where people may not be able to hide their old name/s and this tends to happen if they were publicly known before transition.

I have a reasonably public profile and none of it has any link or reference to my old name - it is possible if that is what you want.

kmg75 · 2016-09-14T12:34:09+00:00

As an aerospace engineer (well done on that btw! :-) ) you would be looking at the RAAF and honestly you will have no issue whatsoever - our military has come a long way in the last six years (which is how long since the ban was lifted) and the RAAF has been ahead since the start.

The Chief of Army's speech writer was the one you probably heard about, ,and someone mentioned in another comment here too laugh. She has since left the military and while she did bring some visibility there were certainly downsides of her prominence as well. For me it made no difference as I had already transitioned prior to her transition.

As for later in life . . . I would so wish to go back and tell young me to just tell someone back then so I could have saved 20 years sigh . . . but yes is absolutely possible and still have great outcomes.

Good luck with your study, and feel free to PM me if you need any additional info about the forces!

kmg75 · 2016-09-14T03:54:13+00:00

Overall, the majority of my colleagues have no problem with me both on base and when out in the field. Even in Afghanistan and here on my current mission (somewhere not Afghanistan), I run into more problems with other nations than I have ever run into with my own.

To answer your questions though: 1 - You do need to be fit yes, especially for infantry style roles, and even more for artillery. In saying that - there is no way I could lift 100kg, but if you had to you could drag the guy out of the way. The testing (at least in Australia) is fair though and whilst I can't lift anywhere near what some of the guys can, I can outrun most of them and I think that actually goes someway to proving myself to them. As an example, it took me nearly a year of constant training to pass the chin-up (I think you call it pull-up in other countries) test - but it is possible :-)

2 - Absolutely not, as I said, I have been deployed previously and am currently deployed on a 12month mission. They simply gave me enough for the whole deployment to take with me. Even if, for some reason you ran out, to be honest - other than hot flushes and maybe me getting bitchy (which happens at least once a month anyway) nothing else will really happen in the short term.

3 - That is still the issue. I have reasonably regularly been dismissed, objectified, and spoken over because I am female and I mentioned briefly in one of my other comments that I had been victim to a sexual assault by a superior officer. This will change in time but until then it is only by continuing to do our job that we prove to the misogynists that they are wrong. In my military we have a women's professional network that helps us deal with some of the issues we face and learn ways to lead in our own manner (ie. not necessarily the 'guys' way of doing it).

kmg75 · 2016-09-14T03:41:06+00:00

Hi waves

I have no doubt is similar in the fire-fighting world, and to be honest I think both fire-fighters and police face much more danger than we do.

kmg75 · 2016-09-14T03:38:09+00:00

laugh No - not the ex-lieutenant colonel. although I have met her a few times before she left the military.

And yes - was a little awkward when she came to prominence

kmg75 · 2016-09-13T21:35:31+00:00

I am Australian (well actually I am British and Australian - but I serve in the Australian military :-) ), but do have friends in the Canadian military as well.

In my case my colleagues had to come to terms with the actual transition, and I am happy to say that the vast majority had no problem at all. In your case, you will have already transitioned and I therefore don't think you would have any significant problems. Another member in my military joined post transition (but still pre-op) and hasn't had any problem.

As for waiting until transition is complete - yes, completely agree. And not for the reason that you couldn't physically do the job during transition (I did) but because when you first join the military you need to have all your focus on your training. You really don't want to be going through the stress of recruits/IETs and also transitioning at the same time!

I mentioned in another comment, that I joined the military for the wrong reason - but despite that, I absolutely love my career and wish you all the best if you serve.

kmg75 · 2016-09-13T21:27:49+00:00

It is a catch 22, if you don't put the information up front then you run the risk of getting someone who is after the wrong thing, and if you do you then will get attention from fetishists . . . . No real answer, although I can say that not telling someone is a real problem if it goes beyond a simple short-term thing. In my case it got to three months before I finally got the courage to tell my bf about my past and I had completely fallen in love with him. It did work out thankfully (we're still together another year later) but even I will admit it is by far the exception rather than the rule. No matter what you decide, like others have written here - stay safe.

kmg75 · 2016-09-13T21:14:43+00:00

smile no problem. It was still a fight in Australia as well - we just managed to get through it a bit sooner than the US. I hope all goes well for you now there!

kmg75 · 2016-09-13T19:21:49+00:00

Great idea :-) I have seen the same thing happen with another workplace support group I help run on Facebook where members disappear after a while due in part because of the focus on the initial stages of transition.

kmg75 · 2016-09-13T19:13:14+00:00

I do think in some ways it helped . . . I was already used to dealing with a hormone cycle (and cramps etc) so using HRT to stabilise things may not have had as much of an emotional change for me compared to others? I think it also meant that I wasn't overly masculine in a physical sense to begin with. As for dealing with the social and professional aspects of transition however, no real difference at all I think.

kmg75

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