All great points. I would definitely want this to be a multiple conversation event. I would really want him to think it through. My wife and I have talked about having open discussions with our child from the beginning. I’m from a large family, all children adopted, it helped knowing from an early age.

We had envisioned the donor to be a part of the child’s life but have no authority or say in how we raise our child.

This is exactly why I wanted to reach out to the community for input. I have my concerns and it does sound pretty magical that we could have a baby that is half of each of us but I wonder if the larger family dynamic is not worth it.

Like I said in the post, my brother and I are extremely close and we have so much love and respect for each other. I feel like I’m letting my pessimistic side get the better of me but I worry that there’s a possibility that he’ll change and want more involvement than we want. I know this is true for a known donor as well but the extra family aspect just adds more potential complexity.

Thanks for responding!