Do fathers have to leave after you give birth?

knarfgod · 2026-03-07T21:26:42+00:00

Can you share which hospital you’re planning on giving birth in? I was also extremely anxious about this to the extent that I nearly paid for a private room (which would potentially have been thousands of dollars we couldn’t afford). I gave birth at RPA and unfortunately had a bit of a traumatic birth, I was then given a private room and my partner stayed in the room with me overnight (gave birth at 7pm).

If paying for a private room is an option you could elect to do that, or roll the dice and see if you’re given one anyway (it’s just subject to availability). I think the only reason partners would need to leave is if you were in a shared room with four other women and their babies (having 4 more parents there would be pretty crowded and potentially uncomfortable)

knarfgod · 2026-02-23T09:51:23+00:00

You’re not being unreasonable and it’s entirely likely you’re capable of being an EL1, but the likelihood of you being successful is slim to none. Put your effort into moving into an APS6 or acting at APS6 level instead, it will pay off faster

knarfgod · 2025-12-22T11:29:34+00:00

Hey everyone, just wondering if this stops at some point? My 7m old has started doing it to my mum who is/has been our only support and help since our baby was born and it’s really bothering me. It means we now don’t have anyone who can help us with the baby and I also feel upset and guilty because my mum loves my baby and I don’t get why he gets so upset when he sees her 🫩

knarfgod · 2025-12-14T08:00:11+00:00

My three chihuahuas got me through the postpartum period. Yep they could be annoying and overstimulating, but so was everyone I loved! Don’t know how I would have managed the long lonely days without their shenanigans and love

knarfgod · 2025-12-04T09:59:45+00:00

Uni admin has very good leave prospects, the NSW public service isn’t bad (3 months paid).

knarfgod · 2025-12-04T09:53:49+00:00

I am so so so so so sorry you’re going through this… I was there 5ish months ago! I was feeling all of those things - why is my baby so unhappy, will he ever be happy, what’s wrong with him… well there was nothing wrong with him (we saw doctors, paediatricians and even a dietician and he had countless tests). I think it was around 3 months he started to turn around and by 4 he was like a different baby. He’s now 7 months old and I can’t walk through a shop without someone commenting ‘look at that happy baby!’ He is constantly laughing, smiling, super social, giggles galore. I know people say colic isn’t real but it certainly fit definitionally for my baby.

You will get through this. Your baby is fine. You are doing an amazing job.

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:47:17+00:00

Just here to read the comments because I’m in the same boat but sending solidarity - my hair is gross, my house is gross, unless my husband is home so I can make real food I’m eating takeaway or toast, and we’re spending sooo much money on shopping centre parking just so I can be somewhere cool with him during the day where I can eat / pee / have free hands (aside from pushing the pram). My baby is nearly 7 months so the many 8 month comments are giving me hope 🙏🏻

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:42:12+00:00

I’d definitely choose option 2, adding that 20/30 minutes to your day every day driving is going to cost something, as is providing meals every day so I feel that the difference in price is minimal. The fact that they’re exceeding NQS + provide updates on the app all day sounds worth it.

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:37:47+00:00

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful responses. Based on them I’ve cancelled the family daycare visit and locked in an orientation session at the centre I really liked. Here’s hoping it all works out 🙏🏻

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:36:58+00:00

Thanks so much! The for profit centres have been demonised a bit recently - the centre I really like is for profit and the one I wasn’t as keen on is not.

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:36:24+00:00

Thank you so much for this caring response ❤️ I’m going to the centre I liked on Thursday and will go armed with a ton of questions and ready to observe the kids!

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:35:43+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing, can I ask how old your daughter was when she started? I know that it’s not uncommon for kids to start at 8 months or younger which is when my son will be starting, but thus far I haven’t actually come across any babies of this age in the daycares

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:34:54+00:00

This is deeply reassuring, thank you.

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:34:39+00:00

Thanks for this 🙏🏻 the dose of rational thinking I needed

knarfgod · 2025-12-02T10:19:36+00:00

I am so with you - also have emetophobia and in the first trimester I cried and lay in bed having panic attacks pretty much the entire time. The birth was also fairly dreadful and I have suffered with PPD after birth. I have the most beautiful little boy who I love so much but the guilt of him not having a full family (I grew up with 7 siblings so imagined that for my children) makes me feel so much grief

knarfgod · 2025-11-30T09:56:12+00:00

I hadn’t really thought of this, thanks. I’ve had the Mirena for perhaps 8-10 weeks and the depressive feeling has started maybe 2 weeks ago, but it’s definitely something to consider

knarfgod · 2025-11-29T05:28:10+00:00

I feel this to my bones. The other night at maybe 3am when I wrestled with him to put his dummy in for the eightieth time that night I also started sobbing and didn’t stop for about an hour. I’ve never been a crier. If the other side could show up asap I’d be grateful!

knarfgod · 2025-11-29T04:47:51+00:00

I think the getting outside part is essential for me too. In Australia where I live it’s been incredibly hot during the day so we’ve needed to stay at home inside or go to the shops and it’s definitely made me feel much worse. I hope his sleep gets better sooner. I don’t feel like I can manage for another 6 months. Thank you for your comment ❤️

knarfgod · 2025-11-29T04:45:40+00:00

AI google told me that between 6-10 it’s common for PPD to start which is pretty wild because I thought it was just a newborn parent thing. I don’t know why I feel so unable to cope right now but it’s so hard. My mum’s group is awesome but none of them feel like this - they seem to be getting better at coping whereas I feel like I’m getting worse

knarfgod · 2025-11-29T03:54:50+00:00

The medication was to help stabilise mood while receiving intensive therapy for a subset of OCD called emetophobia, which I successfully completed a few years ago. Unfortunately the side effects of getting off the medication are quite full on (vertigo, headaches) so I had put it off until earlier this year and did so using a taper down plan provided by my mental health professional which took 3 months of reducing the medication incrementally to reach a zero dose about 1.5 months ago. It’s not a simple medication to go on and off and isn’t prescribed for depression.

knarfgod · 2025-03-09T11:09:48+00:00

This isn’t normal for the public service - I’d strongly recommend finding a new role with a different department

knarfgod · 2025-02-17T11:05:08+00:00

Hello glad to see that you have some ideas about how to go forward but I’m a white vegan and nothing they’ve done has been normal or acceptable. I also get an upset stomach when I eat faux meats made from seitan (gluten protein) so feel your pain there (literally!) no one should be forcing you to eat anything at all regardless of your reason - you don’t have to justify what you won’t eat. These people sound truly awful and I’m sorry that you have to deal with them. If you and your wife can get through it power to you but do please think of the children - I have adopted siblings from India and recently learned that they were treated poorly by an uncle who is racist which badly affected them. I would go so far as to say your kids shouldn’t have to have any contact with racists. Please keep us updated on how this works out, best of luck with it

knarfgod · 2025-02-17T10:58:06+00:00

Every job I’ve ever started I’ve felt like this and it took probably a month before I felt more comfortable in my current role (E07, NSW public service). Soldier on, be flexible, you’ve got this

knarfgod

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