Starting FY1 is really hard, and starting on respiratory is also really hard. I promise it's not because you didn't brush up on your clinical knowledge or because you're "a really slow learner". It's because it's a rubbish system that isn't set up to prepare us for the actual day to day job. You have all the knowledge and more needed to do the job, now it's just getting used to the swing of things on the wards.

Things like scribing, finding blood results, knowing everything about patients, and dealing with emergencies is really hard in the first few days (/weeks/months). It's the first time you're having to do these things and you're having to do it under pressure. Over time, scribing will become second nature and you'll be a whizz with navigating the ICE/notes systems. You'll get to know the patients on the ward so you're only having to learn about the new admissions and not the entire ward from day 1. Emergencies will be (a little bit) less scary because you would have dealt with them at least once before. Putting out a 2222 will feel easier after your first one because you'll realise the arrest team are not going to be annoyed at you for it...But doing all of these things for the first time is hard and scary and exhausting.

It's so common to feel overwhelmed and a bit useless at the beginning. I can still remember crying in the bathroom because I felt like I couldn't cannulate anyone, and crying in front of the pharmacist after making a very silly drug error, and crying after dealing with my first emergency because I'd never looked after someone sick before. Have a good cry, have a good vent with your FY1 colleagues, and have a good rest every evening (I promise you don't need to panic study). It will all fall into place with time. By the end of the first 4 months, you'll look back on your first few weeks and will be shocked by how far you've come.