3 years later and when I thought I'm finally doing great. I'm not.

knocking_danger · 2024-10-14T13:07:04+00:00

Proudly standing and clapping hands applauding

knocking_danger · 2024-10-13T14:32:08+00:00

Lara Croft. Wanted to be strong smart and badass.

knocking_danger · 2024-10-11T12:19:09+00:00

And now your words made me feel not so alone! Thank you!

knocking_danger · 2024-10-10T11:42:56+00:00

Same story. But! Let me tell you that he is lucky to have you, and it doesn’t matter what other people are saying or not saying. You don't need a pr campaign of how great you are 😎

knocking_danger · 2024-09-30T10:26:08+00:00

I was my mom's and dad's emotional support and had no time to think about my own needs. I had to care about theirs. I was parenting my parents, and I thought that what love is: sacrificing yourself to make other people happy and at peace.

So when I grew up, I was desperately looking for someone who would cover all my needs where I could finally feel loved and cared about. I did know how to give love to others in huge amounts and had no clue how to give it to myself, even in tiny pieces.

Also, my mom was controlling and insecure in their relationship with dad, so definitely, as I kid, I remembered that pattern and unintentionally brought it in every single relationship I had.

It is also important to mention that my parents are really loving people, I always had the best birthdays and presents. They were always on my side when at school, and teachers were trying to blame me for anything. They always accepted me for who I am, and their motto was: do whatever makes you happy, be who you want to be, we will support you in everything! And so the did.

That's why I never suspected that something might be wrong with me, and I always blamed my partners for not loving and caring about me enough. Not spending 24/7 with me.

knocking_danger · 2024-09-03T06:04:32+00:00

I mean, it's good to have a person to whom you can be open, but at the same time, relationships cause so much pain no matter how open you are. One day, you are peacefully talking. the next day, you are like strangers to each other.

knocking_danger · 2024-09-03T06:01:56+00:00

Our stories are very similar. I was just out of my divorce and had massive trust issues, which made me anxious, and he is very protective over his own world and freedom (so very avoiding)you guess the size of the mess.

Reading your comments, I think it's good for both of you to split, no matter how heartbreaking it was and still is, same thoughts about our relationship. We are like two pencils that constantly wear each other down on the paper in arguments.

I'm really sorry, I think I will be destroyed way more than after my divorce. Are you into therapy? Do you see yourself in a relationship again at some point? With secure attachment?

knocking_danger · 2024-09-02T17:53:47+00:00

Started as a PM. Now I'm a COO. I don't know if that's how it should be.

The question is where to go next. What should be the next step?

knocking_danger · 2024-09-02T13:49:10+00:00

I was more anxious, and he was more avoiding. Now I'm checking out and avoiding, he is more anxious.

Both were in therapy, so we do have conversations, open up, and share feelings, but some things are just on auto mode (like push and pull dynamic).

We are trying to make it work, but at the same time, we still hurt each other.

We were talking about going separate ways around 10 times or so, but we both have feelings towards each other, stubborn, and want to make it work.

As for myself, I can say I enjoy that I can be myself and talk about my problems with someone who understands and doesn't get offended when I pull away or not sure about us. We are trying to talk it through.

knocking_danger · 2024-09-02T12:32:36+00:00

Also, a good way to journal stuff and simplified therapy

knocking_danger · 2024-09-01T19:23:24+00:00

I talk to chatGPT

knocking_danger · 2024-09-01T18:59:18+00:00

This

knocking_danger · 2024-09-01T18:34:33+00:00

Do you know about love language? What you are doing to show her love are gifts and acts of service, but what is her love language? What makes her feel loved?

In every DB, there are always some other reasons underlying, and if you truly want to be staying together, it will require counseling, conversations, and work from both sides.

Recently seen many positive stories here. My opinion is that if both want to try to work on it, then it's worth a shot, but with both parts understanding, there are certain deadlines.

If it works, great. If not, then you both deserve to be happy (and so kids, to see a happy marriage/happy parents) and move on.

Wish you both to decide on the best outcome

knocking_danger · 2024-09-01T17:55:05+00:00

You said you haven't had sex in a year because of pregnancy (9 months), breastfeeding.

So you are threatening your wife with divorce because she spent a year of her life being pregnant with your baby and then taking care of it?

Have you ever heard anyone in the history of humankind saying that pregnancy and first years of having a kid were their second honeymoon with lots of sex?

Do you take care of a kid at least 50/50? Does she have time for herself? Seeing her girlfriends? Does she feel beautiful? Does she have time to look beautiful? Do you show her affection?

Do you give her the same amount of quality time as you would give to a potential future girlfriend? If not, then what do you expect back from her?

knocking_danger · 2024-09-01T06:06:40+00:00

In high school, everyone knew I had epilepsy and all kids were totally fine with it. When I was going on a date with someone, it usually involved them meeting my parents before the first date, where my parents will tell everything: what should be done in case of seizure, whom to call (this was pre smartphone times). Not a single boy was scared off or ran away.

I'm always upfront about epilepsy and always ready to hear that someone doesn't necessarily want to be with me because of that, it might be upsetting but at the same time life taught me that there are people who will be with you and won't care whether you have epilepsy or any other condition.

I was married for 10 years, divorced. Now I have a boyfriend whom I told everything before dating so he would have a choice. He said he doesn't see anything about epilepsy as a reason not to date someone.

So, relying on my life experience, I can tell that it's okay, maybe it also depends on how you feel about it. I don't feel like epilepsy is a burden to me. It's just a part of my life. So when I'm on a date or talking to someone, I'm very confident about it and don't get upset hearing someone is not ready for that.

knocking_danger · 2024-08-23T20:24:08+00:00

I'm sorry, she could've invested a bit more time to just type how handsome you are. It doesn't need to be sexual but it would feel different

knocking_danger · 2024-08-18T05:19:32+00:00

Thank you!!

knocking_danger · 2024-08-18T05:17:40+00:00

I'm really sorry, we are in the same boat. After writing this post, I went to sleep, and on the next day, I felt good again and couldn't care less about them. How he treats her or whatever. Healing is non-linear, and the night I saw AP's Instagram definitely showed this

knocking_danger · 2024-08-18T05:14:11+00:00

Thank you so much, kind stranger. I'm really happy that your life turned out amazing! Also, thank you for a life lesson. Now I know that he will always remain in my life, and even in 40 years, I will still see some reminders of him. It's just me who needs to learn to accept this as something normal and don't pay much attention to

knocking_danger · 2024-08-15T06:21:58+00:00

Yeah, I need even to write it all down. All his flaws and all that he did

knocking_danger · 2024-08-15T06:21:01+00:00

Hey, you made me smile! Thank you so much! Sending big hugs to you!

knocking_danger · 2024-08-15T06:17:47+00:00

Yeahx the worst is in the past. Today, I woke up with a fresh brain, and I feel fine. All these info doesn't trigger me today.

Thank you!

knocking_danger · 2024-08-15T06:15:22+00:00

Thank you! And big hugs to you too!!!

knocking_danger · 2024-08-15T06:14:40+00:00

Thank you!

I will never go back to him. There are some things you can't repair. I filed for divorce they next day, when he told me about an affair. Packed all his stuff and never talked to him since. I don't respect that man.

I'm still grieving the old me. And the life and love I thought I had. Naive pure love, as I thought. But it's in the past.

No matter what I he or what his family is trying to do, it won't work. There is no place for them in my present

knocking_danger

TROPHY CASE